Will someone read over my application essay?

weaponcaptain27
Sun, 30 Sep 2012 15:57:37 +0000

Topic: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

My heart was pounding as I rushed to the band room to start my first day of color guard; being a person who was unable to fit into social groups made me sick to my stomach. Walking in as the veteran guard members stared at me, I began to question my decision. Despite my apprehension I decided to stay through the first practices to see if I would fit in better. It paid off as I saw that I was far surpassing the other new girls with my abilities. One day, after noticing my talents, my captain led me to the back hallway to share a secret. She told me, “You should try out for captain. Even though this is your first year, you can try out next year, and I believe that you have a good chance.” I contemplated her statement for the rest of the year and finally decided to try out in May.
The next year came around, and after tryouts I found that I did not make captain. My apparent failures, however, did not hinder my drive. The following year I tried again and won the position. I was determined to inspire my color guard to be the best they could be, and in a short amount of time they began to admire to my leadership skills. Knowing that everyone looked up to me was an incredible feeling and it pushed me to become an even better leader. I decided to continue my captain duties for the rest of my time in guard, and the longer I held my position, the more I became aware of myself and saw what I was capable of and what I could strive to achieve.
Through my experience in the drum corps, I learned what it meant to persevere. After winning first in competitions and making crowds cry, after getting scores so low that we felt worthless, after climbing our way back to the top, it was evident how diligence and dedication prevail in dismal situations. I took this lesson and applied it to my life at home, in school, and in other clubs. Because of this, my confidence grew along with my desire to improve my character. People outside of my color guard also began viewing me as a leader, which pushed me even farther because I felt that continuing to better myself could help me assist others. Although I did not always succeed in what I did, I continued toward my goals.
My journey in drum corps gave me quality insight on how to make it through any situation: to get back up whenever I fall, to help others, and to stay positive as a good role model. I know that I am continuing to grow, but I would not be the person I am today if I had not joined drum corps and color guard. My decision to continue that first week of practice has allowed me to acquire the inclinations that will lead me through college and the rest of my life.

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