World in 2056, junior version

futurenyustudent
Thu, 10 Aug 2006 00:56:30 +0000

Hummer Corporation will go out of business, along with GM.
Toyota will begin production on its 38695th hybrid car.
Warfare will be different: issues will be solved by a tennis match between the leaders, since that’s cheaper, less violent, broadcastable, and more entertaining.
United Airlines, Delta Airlines, and Northwest Airlines will file for their 493rd bankruptcies.
Dick Cheney will have his 587th heart attack, after having lost to a dead opponent in the Wyoming gubernatorial election.
Chelsea Clinton takes over the world.
George Bush will finally learn how to read CORRECTLY.
The SAT will be out of 48800, rather than 2400.
The ACT people will come to their senses and make the ACT out of 40 rather than 36. 36…what a random number.
Harvard University will finally rank outside the top three in USNWR.
Gasoline tops $30 per gallon.
Washington U. in St. Louis will be sued by the U.S. Postal Service for overloading their system.
The neocon right finally comes to their senses: they are seen at major democrats’ doorsteps begging for mercy.