Would you check out my essay please?

VandyPrayer
Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:25:00 +0000

Hilsa is totally being honest. I think the poem was stand-out… a little “corny”, per say, but you have a way with rhetoric. You showed that you can have syntactic variety and your have a decent vocabulary. Half-way through the essay you just started listing stuff… And somewhat bragging; your essay is heartfelt. I think you should have aimed to let the admissions people “know you” in this essay. It kind of feels like you wrote an introduction to a book (biography… I’m possibly contradicting myself by saying that.) rather than an essay. But you did show your aspiration which is always a plus.