Would you check out my essay please?

VandyPrayer
Sun, 11 Jan 2009 23:30:14 +0000

The poem is okay. You know, maybe you should shorten it to four lines? To make it stand out. Kinda of like you’re trying to say something important.

When you argue
Hold them tightly
When they cry
Cry with them

Or even try a haiku.

Dead mother lays
Many tears fall
Sadness.