Your Perfect/Ideal College is...

StercusAccidit
Mon, 18 Aug 2008 02:15:30 +0000

In no particular order…

Smallish LAC… Beloit’s anthropology program, Wesleyan’s film program, Reed’s quirky student body and location (Portland, or some other awesome city. Like Northampton!), Oberlin’s music conservatory (not because I’m any good at music, but because I like being near people who are), Brown’s affiliation with RISD, Bard’s campus… About six hours from home (yes, I’d like to relocate Portland), strong creative writing…

Filled with friendly, unpretentious geeks who don’t take themselves too seriously but who are passionate about academics and know obscene amounts of trivia about their subjects of choice. A hardcore academic environment, but laid-back-- not ultra competetive. A chill social scene-- minimal crazy drunken frat-ness. In fact, no frats, but an opportunity for co-op housing. Theses required for graduation. Faculty mentors. Minimal distribution requirements or open curriculum (especially no math requirements). Accepts AP for placement AND credit. Need-blind financial aid. Decent diversity. In a coastal state. Good student newspaper and radio stations. Liberal and politically active student body. No religious affiliation. Above the Mason Dixon line. Climate not DRAMATICALLY different from MD. High percentage residential. Strong sense of community. Good music scene. Brown’s course offerings-- especially in the anthropology department. Focused on undergrad as opposed to grad/research. Lots of graduates going on to get their phds. Delicious, five star restaurant quality food and every student gets their own bathroom (you did say PERFECT college). Has an ice rink and some sort of figure skating program. Sports so crappy that the student body can rally around how much they suck, but with killer ultimate frisby, unicycle hockey and segway polo teams, because I think they’re cool. Artsy but unpretentious (haha). Physically fit, somewhat outdoorsy student body. No Crocs anywhere on campus. Passionate, funny, helpful professors. Low student-teacher ratio. Wade Davis as a guest lecturer. Opportunity for internships and anthropology field work in South America and Eastern Europe. A kazoocapella group. A club that wanders around handing out delicious treats. Its own movie theater showing lots and lots of really good movies. A decent swingset, and possibly a large jungle gym. With a ball pit that is routinely scoured for band-aids, dirty needles, and used condoms. Attractive guys…

You know, the usual stuff.