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Decline Offers: When?

ResrchMomResrchMom Registered User Posts: 102 Junior Member
edited April 2013 in Theater/Drama Majors
Am I thinking correctly about declining offers? My daughter is on a wait-list to her top choice. She has two acceptances to other programs. She is hoping for another acceptance next week from an additional program.

She's pretty sure she doesn't want to attend the first two acceptances. But perhaps this is really because she has high hopes for the other programs inviting her. It's hard to know until you're actually faced with no options, it seems.

It's so hard to know what to do. Should she decline the two schools immediately? What if by some chance that would shake things up--other students then accept and decline and accept and decline and it starts some domino effect that allows her to get off the wait list to her first choice? But maybe that's just a long-shot hope?

So, what if she doesn't get in and she's declined the first two? We wonder if she'll regret it. But she's saying she will just take a gap year if she doesn't get into the top two choices.

How are all of you handling this? Anyone else facing this scenario? She has until May 1, but if everyone waits, doesn't that just make things worse?

I know there are really no wrong or right answers--just opinions. My husband thinks she should wait a bit longer, and I'm leaning towards "Just do it." I know it's the gracious action to take so that other students can be invited and get off wait-lists.

But . . . help!
Post edited by ResrchMom on

Replies to: Decline Offers: When?

  • VAmom1234VAmom1234 Registered User Posts: 15 New Member
    My D has offers that she is leaning against, but we've encouraged her not to make any decisions about schools she has been accepted to until all the school results are in. We'll sit down in early April and figure out what she can comfortably decline, and what we all need more time to think about ( both academically and financially). It's been a long, long , crazy process and we need time to let the dust settle, revisit some schools and then finally decide.

    For schools that she got in academically with scholarships but not artistically we have declined the offer and the scholarships so they can re-award them.

    So I'd wait a little longer. It's only a couple more weeks .
  • amtcamtc Registered User Posts: 2,864 Senior Member
    ResrchMom -DO NOT DECLINE any offers yet!!! Right now your daughter says she's pretty sure she's not interested in any but her top two program but things change. Should the reality come where she does not get into her still outstanding top choice, she might very well change her mind and want to further investigate her two offers. Visiting them during their admitted student days might have her fall in love with one or both. As far as her waitlisted school, assume she does not get in, that is the best way to go. Should something happen, and that can be as late as August, then you have something to think about but until then, assume she's going to ultimately be rejected.

    What's your hurry to reject? It does not necessarily mean the school will open up that slot for others or that there will be any movement on her waitlisted choice. May 1st is the date, just wait until all acceptances have been thoroughly explored.
  • Times3Times3 Registered User Posts: 1,373 Senior Member
    I agree, and having heard about your travels, I understand the impulse but...hold on till she hears. Hang in there!
  • OddDadOddDad Registered User Posts: 153 Junior Member
    I'm with those in the Do Not Decline camp. If my daughter is so fortunate as to receive more acceptances in the next 2 weeks, we will evaluate those along side the ones she already has. Of course, she has stated she would be willing to attend both her current acceptances. However, if she has more choices in the coming days, it will likely make it impossible to visit all schools. Unfortunately, our remaining schools are in no hurry to notify us.
  • photomom5photomom5 Registered User Posts: 809 Member
    I agree! We have declined one program, and though we think we are declining a second one, just want to have all our options open. We have to make a decision shortly, one of the programs has a March 31 deadline for the program (not the school).
  • FlossyFlossy Registered User Posts: 3,121 Senior Member
    You guys, don't be in a hurry to decline your offers. Seriously, this is "me first" time. It'll all shake out in the end and most of these programs take many more than they expect to yield. You're not hurting anyone else by waiting.
  • ResrchMomResrchMom Registered User Posts: 102 Junior Member
    Thanks, all. I'm glad to have a little bit of guidance!
  • Jkellynh17Jkellynh17 Registered User Posts: 2,013 Senior Member
    That's a nice position to be in, though. Congratulations on multiple offers.
  • austinmtaustinmt Registered User Posts: 476 Member
    So the idea is to accept an offer from her current choices (one of which she would be very happy with) by May 1st, and then if D gets accepted off the waitlist at her "dream" school switch at that time and just lose the deposit we placed at the first school? Is that how it works?
  • Times3Times3 Registered User Posts: 1,373 Senior Member
    ^^That's it!
  • photomom5photomom5 Registered User Posts: 809 Member
    Yup...that is it in a nutshell.
  • ResrchMomResrchMom Registered User Posts: 102 Junior Member
    Thanks everyone. I always move too quickly and later regret it. But now three schools have actually called or emailed her and are being friendly and saying how much they'd like her and did she like her visit--even the head of a department called. I feel guilty--like we should hurry up and give them a decision. But then I had a kind of naughty thought: "Well, they made us wait . . . " ;) Seriously, I would really love to give them a decision tout de suite! We're waiting for that one phone call saying she's off the wait-list. At that point, I don't even think we'll worry about financial aid comparisons.
  • Gwen FairfaxGwen Fairfax Registered User Posts: 2,435 Senior Member
    I remember this time, and that feeling of guilt toward the schools who were calling, and uncertainty. If there's a place she is really sure she won't go, by all means decline. But if there's even an outside chance, wait until all the news is in and she can breathe, and consider, in peace. She may surprise herself!
  • researchmavenresearchmaven Registered User Posts: 875 Member
    ResrchMom-Many times it's not until early June that people make it off waitlists. Once you have all the other information you need to choose between the schools your D was accepted to you may have to accept one and then call and pull your acceptance if she gets off the waitlist.
  • amtcamtc Registered User Posts: 2,864 Senior Member
    June would be early for getting off a waitlist! It could be mid-August, so definitely don't wait for that, move on, if it happens, great; but just move past it.
This discussion has been closed.