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Staying in College with a Sick Parent

jmn11899jmn11899 1 replies3 threadsRegistered User New Member
Like the title says, my mom has been sick since July. She seemed stable to me and I went to college in Tennessee (we live in Florida). As of now, mid September, her condition has worsened and I have had to take a week off of school to come take care of her. She has a congenital heart disease so she has been sick my whole life, but it is now taking a toll on her. My father is passed away and my brother is also at school out of state. Other than my brother we just have a couple of people helping out, but not a solid family support system.

My question is if I should stay in school this semester or stay home and transfer home for next semester. I am super bummed thinking of missing out on my friends and being behind in school. I am a junior so this is the year that I am getting into my major and need to take school more seriously. Any thoughts are appreciated.
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Replies to: Staying in College with a Sick Parent

  • cptofthehousecptofthehouse 29420 replies58 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    I am so sorry this is happening.

    This is a lifetime decision for you to make. From what you have said, it’s highly likely someone should be staying with her, and this may not be a one term thing. A transfer to a school nearby would make life easier in that regard. That is, if you make that decision to be the key support person.
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  • TheGreyKingTheGreyKing 2151 replies101 threadsForum Champion Williams College Forum Champion
    That is a hard question.

    I can answer only from my own perspective as a parent. I wouldn’t want to be the cause of my son’s changing schools or putting his life on hold. If I were suffering physically, the thing that would keep me going would be knowing that my kid is okay and happy and on-track to realize whatever dreams he has.

    That said, I recently had a period of taking care of both my parents when they were simultaneously in need, and I was their health care proxy, etc. It was hard enough living only 40 minutes away from their life-care complex. Being further away would be hard indeed. And my life was settled, so my actions would not impact my future.

    I guess it comes down to:
    -what your mom says she wants
    -whether you would be so distracted at school that you would be derailed anyway and would be better off with a leave of absence, OR whether having school and time with your friends gives you the emotional health to be supportive of your mom when you call/ visit/ help with her affairs from afar.

    Only you can answer those questions for yourself, with your mom’s input.

    Good luck and best wishes to you and your mom.
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  • happymomof1happymomof1 29655 replies175 threadsRegistered User Senior Member
    Have you had to take time off in previous semesters? If so, how easy was it for you to catch up when you returned to classes? One option would be to take a leave this semester and see how things go with your mom.

    Wishing you all the best!
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