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Just one last thread and I'm done with this website forever

TakucharaelTakucharael Registered User Posts: 80 Junior Member
edited July 2008 in Transfer Students
Alright I have been heavily contemplating whether or not to stay at NYU or transfer to Claremont McKenna. In addition to realizing over time that my indecisiveness is a character flaw I need to work on, I've managed to construe scenarios in my head where I am at both colleges. The main reason I applied for transfer in the first place was the exorbitantly bad mood I was in early on in the Spring Semester. In retrospect I have reason to believe that some of the contributing factors to that stupor of depression may not be as prevalent next semester, giving my a slight sliver of hope. At the same time I also feel like I would be wasting a valuable acceptance letter, not to mention all of the hoop-jumping I forced myself through to apply in the first place
( A year ago I would have taken CMC over NYU, then again I've changed a lot in the past year).
Basically, over the last 2 weeks this has dominated my thoughts and has basically put a hold on my life until I can get my mind made; fortunately today is the last day I can hope to send my confirmation...

With that said

1. I've thought about this constantly for a very long time. If I am having this hard of a time deciding, is it simply not worth it to transfer at all?

Someone put me out of my misery. Thanks
Post edited by Takucharael on

Replies to: Just one last thread and I'm done with this website forever

  • VeryHappyVeryHappy Registered User Posts: 18,071 Senior Member
    Make a list of the pros and cons of each place.

    If they are about equal, and if you are having this much trouble, then forget it; just stay where you are.
  • LilyMoonLilyMoon Registered User Posts: 1,832 Senior Member
    My S felt the same way as you and was torturing himself with the decision. It was making him crazy. He has decided to deferr his transfer application to Spring and spend another semester at his current school to be sure of his decision. Not getting on campus housing was the deciding factor at the new school. Transferring is not so clear cut for everyone. There are pros and cons to most schools. My S tried the list making idea and found equal reasons for staying and transferring...maybe you will have better luck with that.
    keep us posted.
  • TakucharaelTakucharael Registered User Posts: 80 Junior Member
    Ok well here is the best list I can come up with.


    - More or less guaranteed 3.7+ GPA Fall Semester
    - Already have some friends, know the ropes
    - Things to do in the city
    - Situation will improve, though to a degree I cannot predict.
    - Something about the city makes me want to get work done

    - IMO hard to meet people, no true social circle yet
    - Academic value of NYU not as good
    - City can be really stressful for me
    - Never really get a “breather”
    - Weather doesn’t help
    - Was pretty miserable freshman year (due to a variety of reasons beside NYU) - hopefully won’t reoccur


    - Better school academically
    - Should be easier to meet people
    - Not that I’m going to go solely by other peoples decisions, but most people think would be a better fit
    - Proximity to friends and family
    - make my parents happier
    - Better weather
    - Cleaner area

    - As of now no guarantee of sophomore standing (I can only find out after I send my acceptance. Yes I know my fault)
    - Have to “start over”-transition initially hard+ uncomfortable (especially when large-> small school)
    - Might be ruling out NYU too early
    - Have to take East Asian languages classes (which I love) off-campus at Pomona which may be a slight hindrance.
    - Might be bored- nightlife not as good
    - Not as much independence
    - Classes might be harder
    - Car recommended
  • TakucharaelTakucharael Registered User Posts: 80 Junior Member
    And about that "bad mood". This is the kind of mood I was in
    , though I'm starting to realize that part of that was simply because of me.

    Again, thanks for whoever reads this. Sorry to bother ya'll. Last thread I promise =D.
  • entomomentomom Registered User Posts: 23,662 Senior Member
    Not a bother at all. I can see why you're having a difficult time, it looks pretty even and there's no real deal breaker on either side. One question, while NYU obviously has more of a night life, how much did you take advantage of those opportunities last year? I ask because it seems like during college, often most of a student's activities are on or close to campus. And with the consortium, there will be more chances for entertainment and other social gatherings close by.

    Just a thought, best of luck!
  • rma32rma32 Registered User Posts: 281 Junior Member
    I'm in a similar situation but the school I'm looking to transfer to is not as drastic of a change. The way I look at it is...I was pretty successful at my first school. Joined clubs, made a great group of friends, got good grades, established relationships with professors. It's a lot to give up but I've realized that if I can make it happen at one school I can most likely be just as successful (or even more so considering the school I would transfer to is better academically) as I was at my first school. Instead of doubting myself (starting over is never easy...) I decided to take the chance and transfer. In ten years from now I'll probably look back and still miss my first school but I am sure the second will be just as fun and starting over will just be another memory.

    As for your situation, while I realize that a small liberal arts school is not for everyone, I think you will find that the community that they create will provide you with great friends and the "nightlife" or social life will take care of itself. I'm in the middle of a...depressed small city at my current school but I still find so many things to do at night during the week and weekends that sometimes I miss out on stuff because I'm doing something else. I also think that being at a small school provides greater access to resources to let you initiate clubs/events or aspects you think are missing.

    Either way, if you have goals and are ambitious about achieving them, which is sounds like you are if you even took the initiative to apply, then you can be successful whichever school you decide on. Good luck!
  • TakucharaelTakucharael Registered User Posts: 80 Junior Member

    Thanks for replying. To be honest, I did a pretty poor job of balancing work vs. play, with a overemphasis on work. I'm willing to work on this, and that is one reason why I think things at NYU would improve. However, I still have an emphasis on work and I'm not really too picky about nightlife or whatnot. Though because of that I now realize that nightlife probably won't play too much into my decision, your point about the social activities of the Consortium is valid. Thanks


    Again, thanks for replying. I just have one quick question. If you don't mind me asking, were you unhappy at your former college? If so was it more the disgruntled or the depressed sort? I ask because my roommate was extremely disgruntled with the atmosphere and knew right away that he would rather be at another school (Georgetown). He wasn't really depressed or sad, I guess he was just disappointed. But he knew he didn't rule NYU out too early.
    From what it seems like you were choosing between two good options, what made you transfer? I admire your optimism.
  • TakucharaelTakucharael Registered User Posts: 80 Junior Member
    bring up my post please.
  • barcelonista14barcelonista14 Registered User Posts: 39 Junior Member
    Im just going to warn you in advance....my thought process tends to be pretty irrational at times so keep that in mind when you read this advice.

    For me, as cliche as it sounds, it seems like this time in our lives is about personal growth and discovery. In my opinion, the best, if not the only way to do this is to venture outside of your comfort zone, brave the difficulties that come your way, and enjoy life once you've weathered the storm.

    As you said, your still interested in spending your undergrad years on the east coast, and I can see why that is an appealing possibility. Obviously, part of you still wants to be in New York. I think if you stick it out there, try to go the extra mile to meet people and enjoy yourself, then you will learn a lot about yourself and experience a lot of growth.

    That being said, it can be overwhelming, and perhaps overly so. If you are afraid that it might just be too much to handle, then by all means go where you think you would be happier. But if you think it is a situation you can turn around, I would definitely recommend staying at NYU.

    I was in a similar situation. My freshman year, I went to school 15 minutes from where I lived my whole life. It really kept me from learning or growing much at all; I never sought out new experiences because I just went with what was comfortable.

    Next fall, I studied abroad in Ecuador. It was hard at first, being in a different country, not speaking the language, doing poorly in classes, and going through a horrendous breakup without any friends or family. But in the end, I got through it, learned a lot in the process, and came out with a renewed zeal for the vast array of experiences the world has to offer.

    I hope this might have helped some, and good luck.
  • annikasorrensenannikasorrensen Registered User Posts: 1,487 Senior Member
    I'm a waffler myself. I would imagine both choices, make pro/con lists, and think myself into a tizzy. Then one day I read an article on lifehack (which I wish I could find again) that changed my life.

    If I could say it in a nutshell, it would be that to make a decision, instead of having a HUGE list, just pick 2 top criteria - the make-or-break ones. Rarely are all of the other things on the list really that big of a deal. For example, I've been trying to decide between an inexpensive state school and an expensive private school for transfer. I made huge lists. Once I realized that the _price_ was *not* the deciding factor (even though for most people, it is)... I was able to narrow it down to two factors: 1) do I want to have small classes taught by professors or do I want large classes taught by graduate students? 2) which library do I prefer? (Sounds odd - but "library" is also code for campus safety... meaning, which library could I see using at 10pm at night? Also code for comfort... which one do I just feel "at home" in, not just library but entire campus, etc... but I focused on the library to keep it simple). Done. Easy choice. If I get in, I'm going to the private school. All the other reasons really fade away and become irrelevant.

    Pick your top one or two criteria and focus on them.

    My opinion? Living on the east coast, far away from friends and family, is over-rated. You did it. You've expanded yourself. If you find that friends and family is important (which you may not... I live 1500 miles away from my parents and perfectly content for the most part) - then that is a legitimate reason to transfer back. If that is not your top criteria, then look at whatever that is instead and make your decision.

    Good luck,

  • rma32rma32 Registered User Posts: 281 Junior Member
    I wasn't unhappy at my former college. Although it did surprise me in a lot of ways I was still disappointed with some aspects of it...there wasn't a very intellectual atmosphere and sometimes it felt a little too much like high school. My main reason for transferring is the better art department at the school I will attend.
  • rickyrossrickyross Registered User Posts: 10 New Member
    I know a person who went to nyu and felt like she was out of place her first year. But, she started to get involved in a lot of different student organizations and groups and met a lot of great friends who made her feel welcome.

    you can never make the wrong decision. Whether you stay or not, you are always going to find things you like and dislike. i think just the fact that you applied for transfer shows your commitment and awareness. personally, im a risk-taker so making the decision to transfer was not a struggle. however, you might feel otherwise and i can definitely see why you are struggling so hard to make your decision. either way, i can only see light at the end of the tunnel so i think you are very lucky and privileged to be struggling to make a decision that can only produce good outcome.
  • gprimegprime Registered User Posts: 485 Member
    I think Rickyross made an important point. Every school has both good and bad features, and you will never find every detail perfect at any institution. As such, you should be making your decision based on which one you expect to be better based on your research. And I would argue against considering factors such as friends and familiarity. After all, you managed just fine at NYU, so there is no reason to believe you would be unable to repeat that at CMC.
  • AndaleAndale Registered User Posts: 7,304 Senior Member
    I'm going to suggest you try this: There is a long thread on it from the Parent Forum a few years ago (http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=51596) but you might try just this part of it: Pretend for a moment that the decision is out of your hands - you have to stay at NYU because your CMC acceptance has been rescinded.

    How do you react? Panic? Relief? That may tell you the answer.

    As others have said, there is no right or wrong. But the above technique may help you sort through the decision clutter.

    Good luck.
  • Student615Student615 Registered User Posts: 1,885 Senior Member
    Have to take East Asian languages classes (which I love) off-campus at Pomona which may be a slight hindrance.

    ^ Shouldn't be a hindrance. Cross-registration really is as easy as (or in my own experience, significantly easier than...) they say. Also, unless you're really into big city nightlife (or hoping to be), I don't think you have to worry about being bored at CMC. The social scene is more residential, but if you're currently missing a social circle, that might be a nice change. A car is recommended/necessary if you'll have to get off campus regularly, but otherwise, you'll probably be fine without one (I never had one in 4 years in Claremont).

    If your depression had to do with overworking or other things that you can or have changed, then it's fair to assume your second year will be different. Do give thought to what roles, if any, weather, city-stress, and distance from home may have played. I certainly hope your sophomore year is a happier one, but don't talk yourself out of things that might bother you again come fall. First semester of freshman year is a difficult one...lots of loneliness, lots of adjustment. But spring semester in general tends to be happy...better weather, summer in sight. In a way, it's hard to base a decision on either one.

    My HS GC recommended a method of deciding that worked well for me. I'm indecisive and very analytical, so I was having trouble seeing through where I thought it "made sense" to go and figuring out where I wanted to go. She had me pick five important criteria (I chose location, atmosphere, flexibility/availability of majors, and I forget what else), and then rank them in order of importance, with 1 being most, 5 being least (relatively speaking...all were important). I set up a grid with the schools I was deciding between on one axis and the five criteria on the other, and then I "graded" each school 1-5 (1 being worst, 5 being best) in each category. The grades were absolute, so if I liked the schools' locations equally, I could give them the same grades. Next, and this part gets weird to describe, I multiplied each grade by the "inverse" of its category's importance; i.e. if location was 1st most important and I had given a grade of 1, I'd multiply that by 5; if location was 2nd most important and I had given a grade of 3, I'd multiply it by 4. Finally, I added up the numbers for each school. One came out the very clear winner. Like annika's suggestion, this was just another way of reducing the decision...clearing out the stuff that was fogging up my mind, but wasn't actually so important.

    Whatever you decide, best of luck. Both schools have so much to offer...I'm sure that things will work out for you.
This discussion has been closed.