As a Florida high school senior during this difficult time of applications and personal statements, you may saying to yourself, "Which of these two fine in-state institutions do I want to attend?" The answer is clear: The Florida State University.
1) Our city matters.
UF is in Gainesville, a town with a local population that can't stand the students, and the students get sick of the town after one semester. Not only is Gainesville insanely boring with like five bars and a tiny downtown, there is nothing around it but cow country for 2 hours in any direction.
Tallahassee, on the other hand, is a land of opportunity. Here, you can get a summer job as an intern for a court or the legislature, instead of working the tables at Chili's. Here, you can rub elbows with senators and important lobbyists, instead of playing paintball with local country folk.
2) Our girls are prettier.
While high school guys care about their future education and all that, they are also very interested in their future social lives. And let me tell you fellas, while UF girls are cute, FSU girls are SMOKING hot. Just walk down sorority row on gameday Saturday and you'll see what I'm talking about when the girls bring out the Indian braids and midriffs. Rawr!
3) The beach is closer.
While this may seem inconsequential now, you South Floridians will not realize how much you miss the beach until you go to the northern half of the state for school. Not only is the drive from Tallahassee to the coast shorter, you get to drive through a picturesque national forest. From Gainesville to the Atlantic coast, you get to drive 1.5 hours through the armpit of Florida, known for its nothingness and towns with paper mills that smell like sulfur.