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Fit vs Prestige

LadyDianeskiLadyDianeski Registered User Posts: 2,064 Senior Member
Younger son is academically advanced (high SATs, great grades) but extremely introverted. He spent his first two years at community college and did very well. Now he is transferring to a four-year institution here in NC. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to, including Chapel Hill. But he wants to go to UNC Wilmington; he enjoyed our campus visit, found the people friendly and welcoming, etc.

However, various people are telling me he would be crazy to turn down Chapel Hill...that it would be better for his career, etc. etc. etc.

I don't want to pressure him. I kind of pressured older son to do the MA in Management program at Wake Forest, and he has not exactly enjoyed it. :p

We've already signed up for UNCW. We have until 5/15 to give Chapel Hill a decision. I still feel conflicted, but my son really does not want to go to a huge, overwhelming school.




Replies to: Fit vs Prestige

  • DustyfeathersDustyfeathers Registered User Posts: 3,007 Senior Member

    Mom to mom, I'd say: fit is more important hands down over prestige. Support for the student emotionally is more important than "rigorous" academics or prestige. What is prestige if he can't hack the intensity and drops out? Or doesn't extend himself to find a research mentor? Or just feels crappy all of the time and overwhelmed by too many people?

    From my personal experience, we went for academics / prestige over support once and we paid the price for several years. The child felt so shaken by his experience.

    Grad schools care less about what school you went to and more about how you prepped for that particular grad program. He can't perform well if he hates his surroundings.

    Maybe you can assuage your anxiety by helping him focus his next two years: Hmm . . . I wonder what cool professors you might find there? Oh really? You like that one? Hmmm . . . I wonder if he/she does any research . . . .

    Or whatever your son's interests may be.
  • LadyDianeskiLadyDianeski Registered User Posts: 2,064 Senior Member
    Thank you!!!! That is music to my ears. :D :D
  • DustyfeathersDustyfeathers Registered User Posts: 3,007 Senior Member
    edited May 2016
    @LadyDianeski I feel for you and your lovely son. You're right to not pressure him. He seems to be finding his own way. Best of luck.
  • gandalf78gandalf78 Registered User Posts: 1,848 Senior Member
    I agree with everything that @Dustyfeathers writes; go with the fit. I know someone who went to UNC-W, and loved it.
  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 34,914 Senior Member
    I think you started another thread on this? He should go where he is comfortable. Ignore everyone else.
  • LadyDianeskiLadyDianeski Registered User Posts: 2,064 Senior Member
    Thanks, y'all!!! :D
This discussion has been closed.