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Need roommate advice from seasoned veterans

awayfromitallawayfromitall Registered User Posts: 131 Junior Member
So what's the standard plan of attack if your roommate's hours/habits prevent you from sleeping? That is, coming in during the wee hours or talking on the phone in the dorm room during the wee hours? Who do you talk to about switching roommates if your hours/habits aren't compatible? The RA? The housing office?
Post edited by awayfromitall on

Replies to: Need roommate advice from seasoned veterans

  • cloyingcloying Registered User Posts: 884 Member
    Always talk to your roommate first, and never EVER talk about your roommate negatively behind their back unless to an RA.

    Fill out the roommate contract and say that you're a sensitive sleeper and that you don't think you can sleep that well if people are talking on the phone or whatever. It's alright if your roommate comes back late but ask them to try and be a bit quiet.

    You will never have a perfect roommate. If you get out of having a roommate feeling like you two had a respectful, positive relationship (I didn't say friendship) then you had an incredible roommate experience.
  • fishymomfishymom Registered User Posts: 1,849 Senior Member
    ^^^Very sage advice!
  • BUandBC82BUandBC82 Registered User Posts: 2,061 Senior Member
    I agree with cloying. Talk to your roommate first. If that doesn't work at least you know you gave it a try. Also, as an alternative, my son had me buy him earplugs for his dorm room.
  • awayfromitallawayfromitall Registered User Posts: 131 Junior Member
    But having to wear earplugs to be able to sleep in one's "home" seems awful.
    And I think it's a "normal sleeper" (at least for anyone above age 2) who can't sleep with someone else talking in a 12x12 room....and roommate must know
    this. So she's just waiting to get called out on it? and then she'll be
  • awayfromitallawayfromitall Registered User Posts: 131 Junior Member
    So let's assume you talk to your roommate and nothing changes. You still can't sleep.
    You talk to the RA? Then he talks to your roommate? He finds you a new roommate? How
    long does this process take? Because this isn't like "my roommate is a slob" or "my roommate isn't my soulmate" or "my roommate cooks popcorn in the microwave and I can't stand the smell"...this is sleep...a basic function...and thinking that there will be many more nights of no sleep before something can be done to resolve the situation is depressing.
  • BUandBC82BUandBC82 Registered User Posts: 2,061 Senior Member
    awayfromitall - I haven't lived in a dorm for a long time, but I don't recall them being quiet. Today was the first day of classes, perhaps things will improve once studying becomes necessary. I agree with you that it sounds like your roommate needs to be more considerate in the early morning hours. You must talk to each other and compromise. Perhaps she is a night owl, has always been a night owl and can't imagine ending her night early. Maybe she has never shared a room before and hasn't considered that her way is wrong. Talk to her and if you two are not able to find a compromise, then look into making a change. I would think you should talk to your RA next, but remember your next roommate might not be any better.

    As far as the earplugs. I thought that was good, realistic planning on my son's part. I'm not saying you should do it if you are not comfortable. I personally wouldn't want to sleep in earplugs all night, but for him it was a way to plan to compromise ahead of time.

    Good Luck
  • packerfan89packerfan89 Registered User Posts: 474 Member
    I used to work with housing, and changing roommates might be a bit much. First of all, if you have a problem, you will be the one that moves, not your roommate. And with housing as tight as it is, you would probably end up in one of the high rises, if you aren't already there.

    I think cloying and BU offered the best advice. Talk to your roommate, and see if you can find some common ground. Maybe having them take calls in a lounge or stairwell? And this is a good example of how to take your roommate contract seriously. Make sure you talk about alternatives and things like that, especially when it comes to quiet hours, times you can have visitors, and cleanliness.
  • AuburnLatinaAuburnLatina Registered User Posts: 110 Junior Member
    The best thing you could do is to bring it up when you are completing the roommate agreement form with your roommate. ;)
  • cloyingcloying Registered User Posts: 884 Member
    awayfromitall - I understand what you're saying, but what I meant was how to phrase things. Your roommate probably doesn't realize he/she's bothering you. Guess what, you're probably doing things that annoys your roommate. That's okay! There are ways to express discomfort in a way that doesn't make the other party defensive and doesn't make you sound silly. That's all I'm saying.

    Talk to the roommate first. My guess is that if you really want to not be their roommate already it's for some other reason you're not mentioning, whether you know it or not. You can resolve this noise issue. You have to be mature about it, though, and not just escape the situation.
This discussion has been closed.