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Post your supplemental essay!

aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
We've already applied, why not share our creations to assist future applicants.

Here's my Williams Supplement. My proudest work.

Imagine yourself in a tutorial at Williams. Of anyone in the world, whom would you choose to be the other student in the class, and why?

I am, at this moment, lying on an inflatable air mattress on the roof of an abandoned gas station. The night is quiet, save the sweet song of the katydid bugs, a song that might annoy the suburban sleeper, but only reinforces the strange rhythm that begins to overwhelm me. I want to admire the stars, but an unknown force urges my eyes shut, and I, instead, begin to imagine myself in a tutorial at a liberal arts college, somewhere in Massachusetts. The professor appears. He is a cheery man with a mustache reminiscent of that of former U.S. President William Taft's, the room slowly makes itself apparent, an office like clutter where someone's mind clearly has been running free, but one thing does not appear: my peer. It is as though the ethereal forces that reside on this rooftop wish me to make this last contribution and so I oblige.

Indeed, the only soul fit to exist in contrast to my ideas is the adored character from J.K Rowling's Harry Potter series, Dobby the House Elf. It is only he who possesses the inherent submissiveness that would accommodate my nature. "I believe that Marx was 99% economist and 1% ideologue," I would say, to which Dobby would respond "Yes, Professor Taft, Mr. Parth speaks nothing but the truth." All week, my ego would look forward to the beloved tutorial where the damages imposed upon my self-esteem are mended through a sweet kissing of the buttocks by America's favorite house elf, and I would leave Williams in high spirits. Without Dobby by my side, college would leave me vulnerable and outside of my habitat, like a shaved squirrel in an air conditioned room, and thus I treasure Dobby much like the aforementioned squirrel would a blanket.

I awaken from my trance to discover the morning. I feel warm.
18 replies
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Replies to: Post your supplemental essay!

  • marvin100marvin100 8568 replies1249 threads Senior Member
    Do you think that essay is a good strategic choice? I'm genuinely curious about your thought process.
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  • aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
    Haha, are you now? Amongst the 10 extracurriculars on my Common Application was "Satirist" for school newspaper. This was a way to share a passion. Moreover, I think the prompt invited humor.
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  • aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
    The satire is titled "warm" btw @marvin100
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  • jackrabbit14jackrabbit14 505 replies29 threads Member
    Were you accepted?
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  • aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
    Waiting on a decision, haha @jackrabbit14
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  • marvin100marvin100 8568 replies1249 threads Senior Member
    It's not very good satire, imo, but best of luck to you.
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  • marvin100marvin100 8568 replies1249 threads Senior Member
    (satire is supposed to be funny :) )
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  • aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
    @marvin100 to each their own, I think i'll take down this thread
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  • aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
    @marvin100 Also, the statement "satire is supposed to be funny" fundamentally mischaracterizes the art of satire. While satire IS TYPICALLY funny, satire, like other forms of writing, is SUPPOSED to deliver a point. Humor is simply the vehicle through which it does it, but that is not the inherent purpose of it.

    The point I was attempting to deliver in this essay was that I look forward to an experience of the likes of the tutorial system in which I am left vulnerable and out of my comfort zone.

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  • oregongirl97oregongirl97 62 replies13 threads Junior Member
    HAHAHA! I like your essay it made me laugh! :) I hope that you get in! I just got accepted today lol but I doubt it was because of my essay
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  • aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
    thanks buddy :) congratulations!
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  • aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
  • nsliyromanovnsliyromanov 344 replies23 threads Member
  • ivyhsparentivyhsparent 6 replies0 threads New Member
    @aurthur did you get in? :) Also, I like your essay – hopefully AdComm got the joke though hahah
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  • aurthuraurthur 113 replies11 threads Junior Member
    @ivyhsparent unfortunately, no :(
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  • tryptophanoverloadtryptophanoverload 30 replies5 threads Junior Member
    I thought your writing was great, much better than mine, but the satire was offbeat and strange.
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  • IceQueenYukinoIceQueenYukino 1 replies0 threads New Member
    edited March 2016
    hi, i thought i'd contribute my writing as well for others' future reference. i made some very minor changes for the sake of grammatical clarity, but the response that follows is essentially what i submitted. i was ultimately accepted, but please keep in mind that other factors also contributed to the result (maybe even more than the essay had). i'm also curious what others think of my writing, so feedback would be great. hopefully i'm not violating any of Williams's terms by posting this :P

    ---

    About a month ago, I spoke to Daniel (a close friend whom I had first met three years back) about my declining interest in mathematics. Because math had grown to become an important aspect of my life, I was uncertain about pursuing other academic interests. I was also unsure if it was a genuine growing apart from the subject, or just temporary discouragement caused by recent shortcomings. In response, he shared how he had undergone a similar experience. Though he was initially interested in physics, over the past year in college, he had instead shifted focus towards pure mathematics. He told me that it was a confusing time for him because, without the familiarity of physics, there were now so many paths that lacked definition or any evidence of his achieving. He then told me:

    "So far as I can tell, it takes a lot of time and plenty of failure before you realize that you feel unaccomplished — not because you're failing, or inferior — but because you're not doing something you love to do. Perspective can give you the humility to recognize that you need to start following your own path, seeking out your own definitions, trying and failing and being honest in your self-assessment — not in how well you did, but in how good you feel."

    Falling out of love with mathematics, and reflecting on my life through the college application process, I realized that I am still growing and seeking out those definitions. And the Oxford-style pedagogy at Williams, with its emphasis on holistic enrichment, would provide the perfect academic environment to continue doing so. The intellectual growth and change in perspective Daniel inspired in me are why I would choose him to be my academic partner and are what I hope to experience at Williams.

    ---

    thought process: given that the prompt allows for only 300 words in response, i figured it would be best to structure my essay in a straightforward, personal manner that demonstrated growth and a desire to continue doing so.
    edited March 2016
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  • marvin100marvin100 8568 replies1249 threads Senior Member
    I think that's an excellent answer, @IceQueenYukino --and congrats on your acceptance!
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