I had something happen over the weekend that demonstrated privilege. We were at home (suburban upper middle class neighborhood, predominantly white, some East and South Asian). A young black man came to the door soliciting something. I stepped outside (as I would have for any solicitor) and asked him what he was asking for, as he was rambling a bit. He was well dressed, and appeared to be talking about some kind of job training program he was participating in, but I couldn’t figure out “the ask”. Meanwhile, a police car starts driving up and down my street, pulls into my driveway and 2 officers get out to talk with this man. It looked like they were trying to ascertain what he was doing there and whether he was soliciting without a permit. Whatever the interaction, it appeared cordial, they were all laughing at one point. We (meaning my family) immediately figured that someone called the police because they saw a black man going door to door - even though he was well dressed, clearly not threatening. We all felt horrible and my kids accurately noted that no one would have called the cops if they (white) had gone door to door. It was very sobering and we were all saddened by it.
So I am not immune to or denying the privilege that my white son wouldn’t be assumed to be up to no good. But the reductionist nature of these questions bothers me. The fact that I might get a few catcalls at a construction site or my religious holidays aren’t national ones - well, that completely pales in the face of what this kid (assuming he was a good kid) has to deal with. That’s 10 steps back versus oh-boo-hoo -I-have-to-take-Yom-Kippur as a personal day.