How much research, due diligence did you do before applying ED?
Every year someone complains about the amount of money that they receive from BU. BU states in their basic financial aid FAQs that they take the following into consideration:
BU also does not meet 100% demonstrated need (which means that there is going to be a gap
If you look at section H2 of their own common data set, you will see the following:
(i) Average % of need met for need based aid recipients 91% (freshmen) 86% (full time undergraduates)
(j) Average package (up to need) for those in “d” $39,436 (freshmen) $35,766 (full time undergraduates)
(k) Average need-based gift for those in “e” $34,004 (freshmen)
BU has also gone on the record to state while they are need blind in the admissions process, they are not talent blind when it comes to distributing aid:
What are your stats? You may find that you were not at the top of the pool and BU essentially gave you an admit-deny; you had the stats to be academically admitted, but based on the strength of the pool, you did not have the stats of a student that they wanted to financially woo in order for them to enroll.
If this school is not going to be financially feasible for your family, you need to decline the admission and move forward.