I know a family where the students email the parent a paper that is due for the college class. Parent edits paper and makes suggestions. This is for undergrad and grad papers.
We do not. My kid works on her paper ahead of time and either goes to the writing center or occasionally the prof for feed back. We feel that kid needs to learn how to access resources. I am not personally interested in getting involved in her coursework.
On one hand I can see that the Parent Editor is functioning as a writing center that is open until 11 pm. However I think that there are suggestions made as to content and I am not comfortable with it. I think part of what irks me is that there is some bragging about the good grades that the students are making and in my head I am thinking “???!”
This is the kid’s life and they need to learn how to cope without their parents. Parents need to get a life beyond their kids.
Noooo!
This should be the kids’ achievements. Are the parents going to argue grades with the profs? Sit in on job interviews? Call grad schools on behalf of the kids?
I don’t usually help, but last month my son in Beirut asked if I would check a paper for him for grammar, so I did. I made NO suggestions as to content, even though I would have written the paper differently myself! I think that’s the only time I’ve helped either of my healthy kids. I did help my mentally ill son more, because writing papers stressed him out so much.
But in general, I have no problem with this. The parents are a resource, just like the writing center, the prof, or another student is. Some parents have those skills and why shouldn’t a student make use of any resources available to them? If a student has a good working relationship with a parent editor, it is an efficient use of resources. My husband is a professor of philosophy. When my kids were taking philosophy classes they often discussed their papers with him. Their friends would often discuss their work with him. In no way did he do the work, any more than they prof whose class they were in would do the work for them. In an academic environment discussing your work with anyone with knowledge and skill is considered a good thing, as long as you shape the discussion into your own words and thoughts. And just so you know, it would be a very bad editor, either parent, or writing center, or prof, who did not make content suggestions to a student. It is part of the editing process to point out holes in a paper. It is then incumbent on the student to fill those holes with their own thoughts and words.
And as far as helicoptering, our kids always were the one to approach their dad, he never offered until he was asked. One of the signs of an adult is not only knowing when to ask for help, but who and how. Just because they are your parents doesn’t mean they off limits. My kids were smart, they knew their dad knew more about Plato than the kids in the writing center, so when they needed help, that’s where they went.
I have to admit, I was shocked when I first learned of this practice. For better or for worse, we did not edit or review our daughters’ papers in high school, let alone college. We felt as you do that this was the time for the kid to learn how to access resources and to work independently.
If the parent is truly just helping the same way a prof or writing center would, and if the student is asking for help (not the parent demanding to edit the work), why shouldn’t the parent assist? Now, if the student is infantilized and hasn’t even tried the local options but has relied exclusively on parent help from the beginning, I’d say there could be an issue. Also an issue if the parent “help” actually results in papers that are more parent than student. But occasionally running something by a parent, expecting only the same type of editing assistance as the student gets from peers, profs, or a tutoring center, doesn’t seem unreasonable.
I did the final read/edit of both of my daughters’ undergraduate and masters theses. I am a big believer in the doctrine of fresh eyes on important pieces of writing. I’m not sorry, I don’t regret it, and I would do it again.
If it’s each and every paper. I say no. Do they have a tricky paper they would just like an extra set of eyes on? Yes if they ask. Doesn’t mean you rewrite it but you give your two cents.
A fresh set of eyes is, of course, essential to writing a good paper. I guess I just happen to feel that the fresh set of eye should belong to someone other than me. I have no objection at all to a kid asking for occasional advice or help thinking through the structure of a paper. I tend to worry that once a parent gets into the business of editing, there’s a tendency to overreach and start rewriting. The boundaries are not as clear as they are with advisors, TAs, or profs.
That said, I have never said anything to anyone about it. I don’t have the impression that the OP is about to confront anyone either. She asked for our thoughts. It’s interesting that people have such different opinions on the matter.
I’ve never seen one of my D’s college assignments “in progress” (and only occasionally have I seen a final, graded paper), but she does send things related to jobs/internships. The Career Center (or whatever it’s called) is her first stop, but she has sent me cover letters, final version of her resume, etc., for proofing. I think that’s wise, as a typo on something like that would probably be an automatic no.
My kid also asks me to review essays/applications for academic programs. Just this past weekend, we went back and forth 2-3 times on her study abroad application, which included 5 short (300-500 word) essays! For these, I definitely do more than proofread; my comments usually center on where she could do a better job of “selling” herself (IMO sometimes she’s too modest) or areas that could use more content/lose some extraneous information.
Seems natural to me, as my H sometimes e-mails things from work–letters of recommendation, peer reviews, etc.–for a quick look. One of my colleagues is a great editor, so she handles that kind of thing for me (and I for her). There are no “writing centers” at work, but most people know who the go-to people are in their office for proofing/editing of important pieces; and if they don’t have someone at work, they use a spouse, former coworker, etc.
My pups are way smarter than their mom or their dad, so they knew better than to reach out to us for help.
Life isn’t always fair. Some people have more advantages than others.
Back when I was in college, one of my roommates had one of those brand new magical fax machines and she would fax her handwritten papers to her dad’s law firm, where his secretary would type them for her, and they would fed-ex them back to her the next morning, in time to hand in to her teachers. The rest of us had to use a typewriter for our papers.
It never bothered me that she was getting the extra help, because I felt it meant she had to have her papers written and finished a half a day earlier than I did. I was a fast enough typist that I could type/edit on the fly, and I ended up getting better grades in the few classes we were in together.
Nope. Just nope. I have a hard time believing professors would be okay with this. A student should use the resources at hand at the school - professor, TA, writing center, peer edit. Yes, work can be edited by someone but not by mom and dad.
Do you ask your parents to edit your reports/emails/presentations for work? When does it stop?
BTW, for those of you saying “it’s really none of your business”, the OP is asking opinions on others’ thoughts and approaches. I see no reference to mentioning getting involved or saying anything.
I do agree with @LuckyCharms913 that another set of eyes on a resume should be done by someone - or several someones.
My daughter (high school senior) rarely comes to me with advice on an essay or paper. Maybe 2 or 3 times, late at night when she’s finishing something up has she asked me to proofread for grammar - and a good thing too as she had a few careless mistakes because she was just exhausted. I can’t imagine her ever coming to me when she goes off to college! I do hope she asks for help (at the resource center) when needed and understands the importance of a second set of eyes, because, of course, she is still learning!
My “it’s really none of your business” doesn’t reflect that I think OP will or should do anything … just that there’s nothing to be gained by concerning yourself with what other people are doing. The fact that Op brings up bragging tells me that this isn’t just what do y’all think? OP is chapped because she thinkls that the other parent’s kid is getting glory in some kind of underhanded way.
Neither my wife nor I would have dreamed of doing this with our parents (not least because there was no e-mail or fax back then), and my kids didn’t do it with us. (However, I think in both cases we saw near-final drafts of their honors theses, but that was more for information, not for copyediting.)
On the other hand, I have friends who marked up every college paper their children wrote. Practice obviously varies.
We never helped with a paper in HS, let alone now that our daughter is in college. It should be their work alone, and if help is needed then that is what office hours and writing centers are for.
“I have a hard time believing professors would be okay with this.”
As long as nothing is plagiarized and the parent provided the same services you say are acceptable (professor, TA, writing center, peer edit) then professors would be completely out of line if they objected to parent editing, or editing from any other source the student utilized. Limiting choices only to what is locally available is not helpful in work or in life. Maintaining a network of resources that is not limited to the current environment is actually much more valuable than artificially restricting oneself to just what is on hand.
