What can I do? I feel like I'm living my life for colleges, yet it isn't enough.
I'll bluntly explain my high school situation for background info. I apologize for the detail overload, here. :(
Currently, I'm a second semester junior.
I attend one of the most rigorous college prep schools in the country, having gotten in with a perfect application score.
However, I had a rocky start to high school, although I was able to hold myself together until this year.
All of my classes are and have been at the AP or honors level (aside from 2 years of P.E.), AP grades being weighted at a 6 and honors at a 5 (as opposed to regular - 4). The highest semester GPA one can possibly achieve with my course-load is around a 5.2.
This year, I threw myself into a coursework overload thinking that it would improve my GPA. My plan backfired on me. It isn't that I'm not smart enough, but physically, it's too much at this time.
I've had problems at home. The aftermath of family deaths has greatly affected my life. My mom has been sick too, and I've had to take short periods of time out of school both this year and prior. Being half of a low income household, I worry about our financial situation every day. I have been so stressed that the day before finals I ended up in the emergency room with sharp chest pains.
During the week of finals, I had two breakdowns.
I sincerely love to learn, but I'm not happy anymore. It feels unhealthy.
All 3 years have been a disaster, and my academic performance has been atypical of me. If only I had a clean slate, I know things would be different, but last semester I almost had straight Ds. I hit rock bottom.
I am involved in numerous extra-curricular activities, and can confidently predict a 2000 minimum on the SAT, although I am aiming for much higher. I have been studying whenever possible, and my goal is to take practice tests until I can consistently achieve a 2400 on them.
Only my GPA is keeping me from the top universities. How can I redeem myself? Are there any ways I can start anew?
I feel like I'm screwed. I am definitely not a quitter. I want to try, but I don't know what I'm trying for.