So of the successful Common App essays I've seen, many have been very descriptive with tons of figurative or sensory language used and/or focused on a specific event or anecdote. However, mine does not really seem like those types of essays. I'm applying to a good amount of reach schools, including Ivies and similar schools, so essays are really important for me. Would somebody be willing to read and give feedback on my essay? I'm not looking for a complete edit, nor am I looking to come up with a new idea. I just want to know whether or not I should rewrite part of it to "show" rather than simply "tell." Also, please be someone trustworthy who has a history of reading essays, since I don't want someone to steal my idea.
Thanks in advance!