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1 month in and I'm not enjoying it

GojiUSAGojiUSA Registered User Posts: 2 New Member
edited September 2014 in College Life
I'm a freshman, and I'm going to an out of state school (to be fair I'm from California and I'm going to school in Nevada so it's not TOO far from home). This is my first semester of college and I've gotta say, so far I haven't been enjoying it socially. Classes aren't too bad, it's just it's a month in and I really haven't met or connected with anyone outside of my suite mates (and even then I wouldn't say I'm good friends with them yet). Back home I was a pretty shy guy mostly because I had self-image problems (I'm a husky dude).

I eventually came out of my shell and made some good friends, and I thought that going to college would be even better (I was thinking "lotsa new friends minus knowledge of me originally being a shy loner" like my old friends did). But nope, it's like high school all over again. Tight cliques on day 1 really put me off, and the clubs I've tried running with have been less than stellar (first there was a fighting game club that was in a bowling alley a couple of blocks away that turned out to be 3 guys and a 1998 TV playing smash bros with no extra controllers and then there was an anime club where everyone was screaming or arguing in between watching episodes). It's like I'm going back in to my shell while I'm up here.

I haven't had the chance to go to parties cause I don't know where any of them are (another **** thing about not knowing anyone here). All this causes me to feel depressed, and my parents are starting to worry about me because they can hear it every time we talk (which makes me even MORE depressed). I haven't given up hope, it's just I don't know where to start improving my situation. Any suggestions?

TL;DR : 1 month into first semester in out of state school. No friends outside of suite mates, can't find parties and clubs haven't worked out.

Replies to: 1 month in and I'm not enjoying it

  • intparentintparent Registered User Posts: 36,009 Senior Member
    Um... how about some other kind of club or activity? Maybe one where people actually accomplish something... newspaper, theater, volunteering. "Fight game club" doesn't sound like a winner to start with socially...
  • dyiu13dyiu13 Registered User Posts: 2,866 Senior Member
    I'm starting to think that suite-style dorms are bad news for relationship-building at colleges. If you like the academics and the city, then if you stick it out and keep trying, you'll probably find some cool people who are available. Can you get a campus job or volunteer work?
  • SouthernHopeSouthernHope Registered User Posts: 2,082 Senior Member
    It sounds like you've tried many things...I just wanted to offer understanding and sympathy...I know it can really be hard! There are so many freshmen here this year who are saying the same thing! You sound smart and insightful...I know its hard to hear this but I do believe it'll just take time....
  • powercropperpowercropper Registered User Posts: 1,610 Senior Member
    Have your parents send you a care package with lots of home baked goodies. Walk the halls offering to share. That's an easy way to meet people. Hugs to you...this is not easy, but it is doable. So many people are starting posts on CC saying the same thing. You think you're the only one who is lonely, but you are not. Watch for people sitting alone in the dining hall, and ask if you can sit with them. Wear tshirts that are thought provoking (my shy son wears Doctor Who shirts and that helps him find and chat up other whovians).

    Second the idea of volunteering. People who need volunteers will love you, talk with you, and you can network through them. People willing to volunteer are usually kindhearted and willing to befriend others. And serving others can end up blessing your heart.

    Most people on cc post that it takes till second semester for them to find real friends. Don't give up!
This discussion has been closed.