Confining Parents: Are these arguments good enough to let me go away for college?

milkyway531 · December 2012

My parents are super conservative and protective, especially my mom. They've always seen me as the immature one because I have different views on, um, everything, from them (like culture vs. culture views, not teenager vs. parents). They feel like going away for school will make me more liberal. I want to go away mostly because they are so restrictive and controlling and here are my arguments:

-The far-away schools are cheaper
-I want to get into politics, so I want to be in a swing state for the next election for more opportunities
-Staying at home and being baby-ed all the time won't help me mature
-The farther away schools are ranked higher academically

ucbalumnus · December 2012

milkyway531 wrote:

They feel like going away for school will make me more liberal.

Most younger people are more liberal than most people of their parents' age on social issues.

However, if their reasons are irrational, then your arguments, no matter how good, will not be accepted. Until you are 24, married, a military veteran, or have a full ride scholarship in hand, your parents can control your college education however they please through withholding financial contributions that the financial aid system expects them to contribute.

MizzBee · December 2012

Sometimes no good argument will work when parents hold the purse strings, but a few of your arguments are only going to reinforce that fact that you are running to a liberal world. so many states don't see going to school outside the state as a good thing for politics, if you want to be a candidate, you might want to reconsider leaving the state. If your goal is working on campaigns, then a swing state would be a good place. Still, do you really want to bring politics into the debate?

The cheaper and higher-ranked academics argument is a good one. Back it up with statistics that show how recent grads have fared in the job market since 2008. Investigate and tout alumni support, strong career center and all the academics. Heck, get in touch with someone in a campus ministry so they can hear from a current student that your values will not disappear a few miles away.

I also agree that going away from home will help you mature, but reassure them that it need not hurt your relationship with your parents.

In the meantime, look at schools within your state or slightly closer that may be good for a compromise. Truthfully, my DS is two hours away and it isn't as if we see him regularly. If they are willing to let you live on campus, you can grow and change whatever location.

If you are a senior, stress that the schools to which you applied obviously were good enough when they gave you the money for applications.

marybee333 · December 2012

Do you have a minister or pastor you could speak with and who could speak to your parents? Children do not belong to their parents and even though it is very hard, parents must start letting go, from the moment a child is born, so that they can unfold into the person they are meant to be. Children need to experience life on life's terms and be able to make a place for themselves in the world. Sometimes, parents who hold on too tight, take away many opportunities for learning and growing up. Tackle this issue as maturely as possible with a thoughtful list of plans and goals and why they are important to you and present them to your parents, including the reasons why you would like to attend the schools you've chosen. As others above have posted, if they are very set against your wishes, there may be no changing their minds. Make sure you have a conversation with them and not a monologue.

SoMuch2Learn · December 2012

If you want to use academics to support your choice, then you need to show them that your academics count now in high school. Raising your grades and test scores would show them that you're a serious student. Not sure if this advice is helpful, so just ignore it if it isn't.

Magicomike · December 2012

I've been trying to do this same thing, it's pretty annoying how my mom wont let me go more than 2 hours away.

megan12 · December 2012

Are you sure they don't want you to go away because you'll be more liberal, or are they holding tight because they feel you're the "immature one"? Maybe they don't want you to go far because it would be harder on them.

You may be right in your explanation of the situation, so I would add to your list of arguments that no matter where you attend college, you will continue to grow and change and so will your views. College is about exploring and finding out about who you are as a person, not just the academics. It doesn't matter where you go.

Marian · December 2012

I've been trying to do this same thing, it's pretty annoying how my mom wont let me go more than 2 hours away.

As long as there are schools within a 2-hour radius that offer what you're looking for, this may not be a battle worth fighting. You can have quite a satisfactory going-away-to-college experience an hour or two away from home, with the added convenience of easy travel.

Confining Parents: Are these arguments good enough to let me go away for college?

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