flinque16 replies0 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 16New Member
NOTHING!! Having been through the process several times now, they will get interested in colleges when they see their friends around them getting interested. That's typically how 11th graders get interested and motivated. A parent trying to direct their interest usually won't have much of an affect unless this is typically how your child is motivated to do anything - mainly by your instigation. Otherwise just sit back, don't hover and stop worrying about it. In reality what will but them in the absolute best position for college admission is to have the best grades, test scores, etc. All the positive motivation in the world won't make up for an academic record which is lacking. The better the record the more choices they will have.
Jugulator201521 replies18 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 1,539Senior Member
Why are people telling OP that her son is headed to CC or vocational school because they haven't made specific college plans by mid junior year?
Don't let others scare you. You're not too late
OP posted “What should I be doing to prepare my 11th grade son for college?”
As I read this post I saw ONLY 2 facts (S and 11th grade) and question about what should OP do now about college. Nothing else was included, nada, zilch, zero. Although I respect OP and S’s privacy, with this extremely limited info, the fact of the matter is everything under the sun could be on the table as to OP's S. Everything! Many people responded with great info (e.g. talk to counselors, take SAT, visit colleges, workshops, net price calculators, college trips, life skills, etc.) I did not intend to scare OP or go off on OP by telling her to send her S to community college. I am simply not as wise as others by being able to draw conclusions from 2 extremely limited facts which is why I posted started by “adding alternatives.”
To OP, I did not intend to scare you or suggest that your S needs to go to a community college (which by the way could still be a viable solution as MORE facts are known). Good luck to you and your S. If I did scare you, I apologize.
Marian13175 replies83 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 13,258Senior Member
Having been through the process several times now, they will get interested in colleges when they see their friends around them getting interested
Interested or not, they need to take the SAT or ACT in the second half of junior year. If necessary, the parents should tell them to do it or even sign them up.
Jugulator201521 replies18 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 1,539Senior Member
Although I would agree about that the quality of info coming from high school counselors can range from excellent to downright poor, before signing up for any SAT/ACT, I’d start with a visit to counselor. At least the counselor would have more info than male, junior in high school at his/her fingertips.
I wouldn't wait til they're "interested"....that could be too late.
My older son is the more shy, quiet type. Left to his own devices, who knows when he would have said much to us. Very likely, the entire idea of "going away" was probably a little frightening to a shy 16 year old.
We went on our first official "college tour big trip" junior year (prior to that, we'd seen some schools near family trips.) Before that first big trip, I used the online system to set up all the campus tours, made hotel reservations, and off we went.
One thing that I think helped, is that the first college was selected just to pique interest. We arrived early and went to breakfast at a nearby off-campus hang-out....which seemed to spark more interest for my child. Then we went on the tour, met with admissions, and then before we left, we had an early dinner at another popular off-campus hang-out. From that point on, it was smooth sailing while we visited other campuses. Seeing the young people walking around campus, in the libraries, in the dining halls, and socializing in the off-campus hang-outs was very appealing to my son and he could envision himself being very happy at college.
saintfan8182 replies92 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 8,274Senior Member
Another thing that @mom2collegekids has been good about reminding people is that many, many schools use December 1st as the application cut off for the larger merit scholarships. If you start getting an idea of what your financial profile is RE "need" vs ability to pay and what your son's stats are likely to be you can start mentally lining up some financial safety options. There are many schools out there with pretty reasonable benchmarks for academic merit. Some OOS public schools award in-state status to kids who meet certain benchmarks as well. If you do some of that back channel work now it will be easier to put viable options in front of him. December 1st comes fast, though.
My DS who is now a senior had some roller coaster grades and needed a strong 2nd semester junior year. I had some schools in mind for the program that he is interested in and just made several spread sheets calculating his GPA in all the different ways that those schools figure it. It made an impression on him to see where he was and where he needed to be to meet the benchmarks for the different levels of merit $$$. It really is the easiest money that a kid will ever earn. He found that motivational enough to really push hard through 2nd semester and it is turning out well for him now. He needed to see the options in a really concrete way, though.
saintfan8182 replies92 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 8,274Senior Member
It can also be tricky if your kid plays a sport which conflicts with college visits. We did a round of visits with our D over mid-winter break her Junior year because she wasn't able to get away spring break as their sports season played through the break.
saintfan8182 replies92 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 8,274Senior Member
Each kid has their own way of sorting out schools so it can also help just to get a feel for what he might like. I know someone whose first priority was PAC-10 football (back in the day). That was the one thing she felt she needed. My D sorted by size (small but not too small) and eliminated all the states that she didn't want to go to (most of them). After that we were left with a manageable list of target schools to research. DS identified his program of interest plus urban and we worked from there.
TheDidactic2092 replies21 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 2,113Senior Member
edited December 2014
I didn't get my LOR's until senior year, so I wouldn't worry about that part. If your son is at least a decent student, he should be fine.
Also, you're not THAT late. Maybe you're like a month late but it's not a big deal. I'd sit your son down and ask him what he would like to do, where he'd like to go...all that fun stuff. He may not know everything right away and that's okay, but you guys can still have an idea of what you're looking for. Next step is to prepare him for SAT and ACT testing. Get some test prep books and register now. The earlier in the spring he take it the better. Don't worry about being rushed too much. I took most of my SAT's in the spring (March and May) so I could have plenty of time to bring it up in the fall of my senior year.
Did he take the PSAT at all? He should have done that if he were interested in NMSF and just at least getting a good idea of how he would do on the exams. If not, it's okay and you can move on straight to the exams but you should get moving on that by January and February. The deadline to register for the next SAT is the 9th but I think you'll have to pay extra for it. If you don't think it's worth the effort and you would like him to prepare for it, you can wait for February.
Following step is to talk finances, scholarships and all that jazz. Depending on how he does on the SAT and ACT, he might be able to earn some merit scholarships. Those really help out in a pinch and make it easier for many families. Run some numbers through colleges' net price calculators so you guys have a good idea of what you can afford. That heavily affects the college selection process.
I wish you the best of luck! Once you proceeded through these steps, you can start visiting schools, going to college fairs, talking with the guidance counselor, and requesting more information from college reps.
Massmomm3843 replies79 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 3,922Senior Member
For starters, avoid this site. Your normal kid will never measure up to the amazingly gifted people who frequent CC and this will lead you to conclude that he is unlikely to be accepted to your local, for-profit, debt-incurring, Storefront College of Higher Learning and you will go away terribly sad.
But seriously, if he's not motivated about college, don't panic. Lots of juniors, especially boys, just aren't ready at this point to talk about the college search process.
In the spring, have him set up a meeting with his GC (assuming yours is decent) to talk about beginning the search.
Get a copy of the Fiske Guide (do not get him any of the ones that rank schools, such as US News and World Report--those are worthless to a person looking for fit, and they are terrifying!) Leave the guide on his desk or wherever he does his schoolwork. Leave little sticky notes to mark pages of schools you think he'd like. (He will reflexively hate them all, but at least he will open the book and look a bit for himself.)
If he says anything funny or brilliant in the next month or two, say "You know, MelodyA3's Son, that sounds like a great topic for your Common App essay..."
Ask him what date he'd like to take the SAT or ask him if he'd prefer the ACT. Sign him up, then buy one of those study guides. Leave it on his desk next to the Fiske Guide. Also leave out some super sharp pencils.
compmom10606 replies76 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 10,682Senior Member
The initial post was so general and open-ended that I don't think it is clear at all what was meant.
It is most certainly not too late. Feb. vacation is a great time to visit schools mainly because students aren't on campus in the summer, and fall gets busy.
colorado_mom8843 replies78 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 8,921Senior Member
For those considering spring break college tours, go online to check about the college break schedule. It is usually more interesting to visit when school is in session. I found "academic calendar" is helpful search term when checking.
I would NOT advise avoiding this site. Yes, there are some super-stars here, but even those with "somewhat average" kids can learn a lot here....even if it's just finding out that some desirable schools will be too much of a reach.
You'll want to identify some admissions&financial safeties....schools that you know FOR SURE will be affordable and will accept your child.
@saintfan is right that some of us frequently remind people that many schools have Nov and early Dec deadlines for merit scholarship consideration. (and every New Year timeframe we see posts from kids realizing that they desperately need large merit....and it's often too late.
If you're married, discuss with your spouse how much you can realistically contribute each year....and share that with your child.
If your child's parent lives elsewhere, find out if that parent will help pay for college.
momofthreeboys16616 replies66 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 16,682Senior Member
It is not to late. Parents should run some net price calculators and have an understanding if they are full pay or not. Parents can also figure out how much they are willing to pay. Kids can take a look-see to nearby colleges small and big and figure out which they prefer. Kids should take the ACT or SAT or both depending on area of country. Kids should make sure they are on schedule with a college prep curriculum and make any adjustments needed for senior year. Kids should be setting their own alarm and getting themselves out the door and should be managing their homework and study time between now and senior year if they don't do this already. If kids want to play a sport in college they should make their coaches aware if they aren't already aware. Even Div 3 coaches will be all over the kids in the coming months.
colorado_mom8843 replies78 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 8,921Senior Member
" Parents should run some net price calculators and have an understanding if they are full pay or not." - YES. I'm not sure that hs GC emphasize that enough.
bjkmom7874 replies156 discussionsRegistered UserPosts: 8,030Senior Member
edited January 2015
This is my first time around on college admissions. My 16 year old son knows that he wants to go away, and what he hopes to major in. That's pretty much as far as he's gotten.
He's really pulled his grades up this year, from high 70's to low 90's. He's taking college prep classes, and took the PSATs in the fall.
I'm just a little (???) Type A. So here's how we're approaching the search.
-I went onto Naviance and did a search of schools within about 250 miles that offered his major
- I narrowed down that list by finances; we're both teachers with 2 younger kids. I don't want him to cripple his future with debt. Budget will absolutely play a part in this decision.
- collegedata has a bit more information about admissions-- like the middle 50% SAT scores, and similar info.
- collegenavigator has great info on the percent of freshmen who receive institutional grant money. Some of the schools on my list are initially expensive, but have 97 or 99% of their students receiving an institutional grant. Some also participate in "good neighbor" programs, where they offer a substantial tuition discount to residents of neighboring states. (though I'm sorry to say that few have such an arrangement with NY.)
- Some SAT prep sites offer a free test to help you decide on SAT or ACT. (All the schools on my list take both.) He's taking such a test at Princeton Review in 2 weeks. I believe Kaplan offers a similar test. Santa got him the book "Up your score-- the Underground Guide to the SAT" and "... ACT" books. Personally I think they're among the best books out there for test taking tips. When we know which exam best showcases his talents, we'll sign him up for that exam this spring.
I now have a list of about 16 schools. It includes a column for distance, one for price, one for the odds of getting in, one for the particulars of how they phase his degree, and a big one for pros and cons. He'll happily be choosing from the schools on that list. Surprisingly, few of them are SUNY-- the schools that offer his major tend to be well over 300 miles away. But neighboring states have state universities that are relatively budget friendly.
So far, we've been to 2 of the schools on the list. He LOVED one (it's a bit of a reach; we saw it before getting his PSAT scores) and another he could absolutely see himself and has far better odds of being admitted to. After the second visit (just last week), I realized that he prefers a small school, so that one, with a student body of about 8500, is the largest we'll see. We'll see some over February break, some over Easter. I have some days off coming up soon, so I may consider having him miss one or two days of school to get some more in.
I know we're a LOT less high powered than a lot of the families on this site seem to be. But I'm confident that what I'm doing will help him find the right school.
Replies to: My 11th grade son
OP posted “What should I be doing to prepare my 11th grade son for college?”
As I read this post I saw ONLY 2 facts (S and 11th grade) and question about what should OP do now about college. Nothing else was included, nada, zilch, zero. Although I respect OP and S’s privacy, with this extremely limited info, the fact of the matter is everything under the sun could be on the table as to OP's S. Everything! Many people responded with great info (e.g. talk to counselors, take SAT, visit colleges, workshops, net price calculators, college trips, life skills, etc.) I did not intend to scare OP or go off on OP by telling her to send her S to community college. I am simply not as wise as others by being able to draw conclusions from 2 extremely limited facts which is why I posted started by “adding alternatives.”
To OP, I did not intend to scare you or suggest that your S needs to go to a community college (which by the way could still be a viable solution as MORE facts are known). Good luck to you and your S. If I did scare you, I apologize.
Interested or not, they need to take the SAT or ACT in the second half of junior year. If necessary, the parents should tell them to do it or even sign them up.
My older son is the more shy, quiet type. Left to his own devices, who knows when he would have said much to us. Very likely, the entire idea of "going away" was probably a little frightening to a shy 16 year old.
We went on our first official "college tour big trip" junior year (prior to that, we'd seen some schools near family trips.) Before that first big trip, I used the online system to set up all the campus tours, made hotel reservations, and off we went.
One thing that I think helped, is that the first college was selected just to pique interest. We arrived early and went to breakfast at a nearby off-campus hang-out....which seemed to spark more interest for my child. Then we went on the tour, met with admissions, and then before we left, we had an early dinner at another popular off-campus hang-out. From that point on, it was smooth sailing while we visited other campuses. Seeing the young people walking around campus, in the libraries, in the dining halls, and socializing in the off-campus hang-outs was very appealing to my son and he could envision himself being very happy at college.
My DS who is now a senior had some roller coaster grades and needed a strong 2nd semester junior year. I had some schools in mind for the program that he is interested in and just made several spread sheets calculating his GPA in all the different ways that those schools figure it. It made an impression on him to see where he was and where he needed to be to meet the benchmarks for the different levels of merit $$$. It really is the easiest money that a kid will ever earn. He found that motivational enough to really push hard through 2nd semester and it is turning out well for him now. He needed to see the options in a really concrete way, though.
Also, you're not THAT late. Maybe you're like a month late but it's not a big deal. I'd sit your son down and ask him what he would like to do, where he'd like to go...all that fun stuff. He may not know everything right away and that's okay, but you guys can still have an idea of what you're looking for. Next step is to prepare him for SAT and ACT testing. Get some test prep books and register now. The earlier in the spring he take it the better. Don't worry about being rushed too much. I took most of my SAT's in the spring (March and May) so I could have plenty of time to bring it up in the fall of my senior year.
Did he take the PSAT at all? He should have done that if he were interested in NMSF and just at least getting a good idea of how he would do on the exams. If not, it's okay and you can move on straight to the exams but you should get moving on that by January and February. The deadline to register for the next SAT is the 9th but I think you'll have to pay extra for it. If you don't think it's worth the effort and you would like him to prepare for it, you can wait for February.
Following step is to talk finances, scholarships and all that jazz. Depending on how he does on the SAT and ACT, he might be able to earn some merit scholarships. Those really help out in a pinch and make it easier for many families. Run some numbers through colleges' net price calculators so you guys have a good idea of what you can afford. That heavily affects the college selection process.
I wish you the best of luck! Once you proceeded through these steps, you can start visiting schools, going to college fairs, talking with the guidance counselor, and requesting more information from college reps.
But seriously, if he's not motivated about college, don't panic. Lots of juniors, especially boys, just aren't ready at this point to talk about the college search process.
In the spring, have him set up a meeting with his GC (assuming yours is decent) to talk about beginning the search.
Get a copy of the Fiske Guide (do not get him any of the ones that rank schools, such as US News and World Report--those are worthless to a person looking for fit, and they are terrifying!) Leave the guide on his desk or wherever he does his schoolwork. Leave little sticky notes to mark pages of schools you think he'd like. (He will reflexively hate them all, but at least he will open the book and look a bit for himself.)
If he says anything funny or brilliant in the next month or two, say "You know, MelodyA3's Son, that sounds like a great topic for your Common App essay..."
Ask him what date he'd like to take the SAT or ask him if he'd prefer the ACT. Sign him up, then buy one of those study guides. Leave it on his desk next to the Fiske Guide. Also leave out some super sharp pencils.
Good luck.
It is most certainly not too late. Feb. vacation is a great time to visit schools mainly because students aren't on campus in the summer, and fall gets busy.
You'll want to identify some admissions&financial safeties....schools that you know FOR SURE will be affordable and will accept your child.
@saintfan is right that some of us frequently remind people that many schools have Nov and early Dec deadlines for merit scholarship consideration. (and every New Year timeframe we see posts from kids realizing that they desperately need large merit....and it's often too late.
If you're married, discuss with your spouse how much you can realistically contribute each year....and share that with your child.
If your child's parent lives elsewhere, find out if that parent will help pay for college.
He's really pulled his grades up this year, from high 70's to low 90's. He's taking college prep classes, and took the PSATs in the fall.
I'm just a little (???) Type A. So here's how we're approaching the search.
-I went onto Naviance and did a search of schools within about 250 miles that offered his major
- I narrowed down that list by finances; we're both teachers with 2 younger kids. I don't want him to cripple his future with debt. Budget will absolutely play a part in this decision.
- collegedata has a bit more information about admissions-- like the middle 50% SAT scores, and similar info.
- collegenavigator has great info on the percent of freshmen who receive institutional grant money. Some of the schools on my list are initially expensive, but have 97 or 99% of their students receiving an institutional grant. Some also participate in "good neighbor" programs, where they offer a substantial tuition discount to residents of neighboring states. (though I'm sorry to say that few have such an arrangement with NY.)
- Some SAT prep sites offer a free test to help you decide on SAT or ACT. (All the schools on my list take both.) He's taking such a test at Princeton Review in 2 weeks. I believe Kaplan offers a similar test. Santa got him the book "Up your score-- the Underground Guide to the SAT" and "... ACT" books. Personally I think they're among the best books out there for test taking tips. When we know which exam best showcases his talents, we'll sign him up for that exam this spring.
I now have a list of about 16 schools. It includes a column for distance, one for price, one for the odds of getting in, one for the particulars of how they phase his degree, and a big one for pros and cons. He'll happily be choosing from the schools on that list. Surprisingly, few of them are SUNY-- the schools that offer his major tend to be well over 300 miles away. But neighboring states have state universities that are relatively budget friendly.
So far, we've been to 2 of the schools on the list. He LOVED one (it's a bit of a reach; we saw it before getting his PSAT scores) and another he could absolutely see himself and has far better odds of being admitted to. After the second visit (just last week), I realized that he prefers a small school, so that one, with a student body of about 8500, is the largest we'll see. We'll see some over February break, some over Easter. I have some days off coming up soon, so I may consider having him miss one or two days of school to get some more in.
I know we're a LOT less high powered than a lot of the families on this site seem to be. But I'm confident that what I'm doing will help him find the right school.