Do parents go to the parent orientation?

cellomom6 · April 2015

. We are 10 plus hours away and they have orientation in June and my son is going inspite of the distance and they have a parent orientation. My son is horrified at the prospect that I would go to such as thing. I think it would be fun and would enjoy meeting other music major parents that get the whole process. Would I be stepping on any toes if I do go? I don't think I would stay in the dorms, lol (it wouldn't be with him) even if a lot cheaper. But I might want to bring my husband with so he would know what we are spending all our money on! Any thoughts or what you guys did?

Also, since its only one and half days, I don't want to spend the money on airfare, so I would probaby be driving him out anyways unless he rides the bus, but that would be awful and too long of a trip. And we'd stay an extra day to visit friends hes made in the area.

glassharmonica · April 2015

If you can make it, it would be a way for you and your husband to be able to picture him in context when he is away at school. Of my four kids I went to one of these mid-summer orientations with my spouse and my kid, who stayed in the dorm. (We stayed in a hotel, as did the other parents.) There were plenty of other parents there and they had a separate set of orientation events for us. We also ducked out and explored the city a bit. It was like a little vacation. (We also drove, but it was closer to 7 hours.) For my other kids, we didn't bother to go to summer orientations, when they were offered, and it didn't seem to matter.

momsings · April 2015

I'm going because I love the city where the school is! I will probably go to some of the family orientation events, and I will give S a wide berth. He won't even know I'm there. B-)

cellomom6 · April 2015

Lol. I made a music parent friend I want to see and I do like the area. Actually the hotel is awesome and I'd really enjoy being kid less for a few days and I want to meet the other parents. Where is your son's school, I forget.

momsings · April 2015

@cellomom6 S is going to Ithaca College in Ithaca, NY. It is a beautiful little city with great restaurants.

saintfan · April 2015

I am not going to the June orientation. There is a parent portion but with another $450+ plane fare and lodging for myself it wouldn't make sense. June is such an expensive time to fly! I'll get my time at move in.

StacJip · April 2015

My advice, if money is tight, is save your visit for the first fall break or a parents weekend in the fall semester. By listening to your son and giving him the independence he THINKS he wants you will get big parental points. And then when he finally realizes he needs you and misses you and wants to show off the school you can arrive and he will be willing to share more with you. This way you will get a much better view of what his life is like. Ithaca can be quite beautiful in the fall as well.

musicamusica · April 2015

We saved our money and decided to attend D's first performance at school later in freshman year and ditto on the move in expenses. In fact I remember that D's school had a similar parent orientation on move in days.

bridgenail · April 2015

I went to the separate parent orientation. It was very good and fun. However my daughter wanted me to come. She was nervous. I think the comments above about saving your money and going when your son realizes he wants you there (and he will) are very wise. Let him go on his own to orientation if that's what he wants. You'll have lots of time to get to know the school, his friends, the program in the upcoming years. He will love having you there in a very short time (just not at orientation or move-in).

cellomom6 · April 2015

Don't you kind of have to be there at move in? Or you mean your child gets their stuff moved and they send you home an hour later after driving all day.

musicamusica · April 2015

No, not everyone even goes to move in day. We flew with my D to move in just because it seemed like a fun vacation. We dropped her off at her dorm and 45 minutes late we were on our own. She could not wait to get us out. (we did not attend the parent orientation ---- she needed to be oriented, not us)

cellomom6 · April 2015

You didn't have to move anything in? I am certain my son will kick me out within 15 minutes. So thats how move in goes? Unload, goodbye?

musicamusica · April 2015

For some......yes. Only you forgot the part where the parent cries in the car (after they get the boot)
Some parents and kids are a little more independent than others. This isn't a judgment call, just a fact.

saintfan · April 2015

I think S's school has at least a half day function like D's did with a BBQ and whatnot. I booked an extra two days just to stay and get settled in to being an empty nester as long as I paid the airfare.

musicamusica · April 2015

@saintfan Don't forget to make dinner reservations a Nola! Or the other fantastic N.O dining spot of your choice. And mmmmmmmmmmm breakfast at the Camelia Grill. Enjoy!!

bridgenail · April 2015

Oh I wasn't implying NOT to go to move-in! I was just saying he may pretend not to know you during move-in. It's a stressful time for them. And many seem to want you out of the room asap (not my kids however). I would suggest trying to talk with your student about it. I asked my daughter for both orientation and move-in what her expectations were. I did make my wishes known as well. We did go to the convocation and "free!" picnic lunch together. I wnted something for all the money I was spending. There were tons of families there and she was comfortable with that. But I would suggest a straight-forward conversation about it. They get to say their part and you yours. It can be stressful and if people are running on assumptions there can be clashes. My one regret was not discussing even briefly "communications" after we left. I had the idea that we wouldn't hear from her besides one or two check-ins. She seemed a bit confused my giving her so much space. She needed a little extra support during transition. Probably parents will be the ones "hurt" in most cases. But I wish I would have talked with her about that. It would have made the first couple of weeks easier I think.

bridgenail · April 2015

Sorry to write so much I just realized my comments on check-ins could have been confusing. We were at move-in 3 days and assisting her for 3 days. She wanted us there and needed a little extra support. It is what it is with kids. She could also have used a few texts each day in the first month (I thought a few check-ins over a week would be fine). Testing each day may seem excessive to some but she needed that support. Also the world has changed and communication is so much easier. So she was just confused at my silence...wouldn't you be? Haha. I'm not the quiet type.

musicamusica · April 2015

BTW---In my initial response I confused "parent orientation" with "Parents day". (did not go to either)

greatchoir · April 2015

@cellomom6, Jealous! We visited Ithaca this spring and our D liked it, but I was *way* on board! What's not to like there? The restaurants, the galleries, the hiking trails (not to mention the wine and craft beer trails...), the lake. Okay, it was darned cold! But that is one locale I could definitely see making all the parent weekends. Probably means it won't happen...Congrats!

momsings · April 2015

@greatchoir it is my S going to Ithaca. Sorry I've confused the thread.

greatchoir · April 2015

Ah, momsings, I see I didn't read your post carefully enough. So you are the lucky one!

Do parents go to the parent orientation?

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