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Experiencing true depression
cameraphone
299 replies83 threads Member
I thought I might ask a source where quality answers are more likely to appear.
Last semester around late October/early November, I fell into a depressive bout and I'm not completely certain what might be causing it. I started just feeling extremely run down, no motivation to get anything done, and sleeping upwards of 10 to 16 hours per day, getting homework done in just the nick of time. It has progressed into this semester and unfortunately it's quite a bit more severe. Nothing seems fun anymore. I can't find reason to go on. I feel fine for short stints at a time during the day, but there's periods during the day and mostly at night that I just feel completely worthless--that there's no solution to improving my life at this point and maybe life would just be better without me. I binge eat and sleep excessive amounts still.
I don't want to feel that way, but sometimes it's just incredibly hard to move past it. I do see a psychiatrist, but she's not very "good" to say the least. She's provided by my university but when I tell her all this, she just tells me that I should take X pill and be in therapy, but the pill isn't that helpful and that I'd probably be better off with just therapy and exercise. I question why she even took the job as a psychiatrist if the only thing she says she "does" is prescribe but she downplays medication. I don't take the medication because I just don't feel convinced she cares about my well-being in that regard.
I've begun to work on the exercising portion by refusing the bus and instead walking to class every day. I wanted to schedule an appointment at my university's counseling center, but there's at least a 3-week backlog before I could be seen, and the psychology clinic won't even schedule me an appointment until I complete a phone interview 1 to 2 weeks from now. The counseling center only provides 6 free visits before you either have to pay or start therapy somewhere else. The psychology clinic is not free. I'm not sure if I can use insurance benefits for that, but my insurance copay is pretty high at $50 for a general visit.
I'm feeling a little "stuck" to say the least. How do I build a support network in my situation? What do I even do? My family isn't very helpful as they don't know how to handle mental health situations--they've never had to deal with it, so they're a little limited in what they can do to help. And most importantly, the reason I bring this here is that I just cannot bring myself to do anything school-related. Homework assignments are not being done, studying isn't taking place; this just isn't who I know myself to be. I don't want to have to drop out because I'm relatively close to being done (done with my major already, but graduating next spring).
I just wish life had a pause button so that I could take a step back for a while.
11 repliesLast semester around late October/early November, I fell into a depressive bout and I'm not completely certain what might be causing it. I started just feeling extremely run down, no motivation to get anything done, and sleeping upwards of 10 to 16 hours per day, getting homework done in just the nick of time. It has progressed into this semester and unfortunately it's quite a bit more severe. Nothing seems fun anymore. I can't find reason to go on. I feel fine for short stints at a time during the day, but there's periods during the day and mostly at night that I just feel completely worthless--that there's no solution to improving my life at this point and maybe life would just be better without me. I binge eat and sleep excessive amounts still.
I don't want to feel that way, but sometimes it's just incredibly hard to move past it. I do see a psychiatrist, but she's not very "good" to say the least. She's provided by my university but when I tell her all this, she just tells me that I should take X pill and be in therapy, but the pill isn't that helpful and that I'd probably be better off with just therapy and exercise. I question why she even took the job as a psychiatrist if the only thing she says she "does" is prescribe but she downplays medication. I don't take the medication because I just don't feel convinced she cares about my well-being in that regard.
I've begun to work on the exercising portion by refusing the bus and instead walking to class every day. I wanted to schedule an appointment at my university's counseling center, but there's at least a 3-week backlog before I could be seen, and the psychology clinic won't even schedule me an appointment until I complete a phone interview 1 to 2 weeks from now. The counseling center only provides 6 free visits before you either have to pay or start therapy somewhere else. The psychology clinic is not free. I'm not sure if I can use insurance benefits for that, but my insurance copay is pretty high at $50 for a general visit.
I'm feeling a little "stuck" to say the least. How do I build a support network in my situation? What do I even do? My family isn't very helpful as they don't know how to handle mental health situations--they've never had to deal with it, so they're a little limited in what they can do to help. And most importantly, the reason I bring this here is that I just cannot bring myself to do anything school-related. Homework assignments are not being done, studying isn't taking place; this just isn't who I know myself to be. I don't want to have to drop out because I'm relatively close to being done (done with my major already, but graduating next spring).
I just wish life had a pause button so that I could take a step back for a while.
Post edited by MaineLonghorn on
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Replies to: Experiencing true depression
You have been going through a lot of things, from roommate issues to health problems, lately.
If you need to take some time off and take a medical leave, then you could deal with some of these things and then come back and finish school.
I suppose I could give medication a try--I have the one that is supposed to work the fastest and have less side effects, but one of the main warnings on it is the risk of seizures. I have a family history of seizures but I've never had one myself. I have no one to watch over me to make sure I don't have one. I could ask for something else, but I might have to wait until my next psychiatrist appointment at the end of February to do that I think.
Well of course they don't help- you're not taking them!
Anti-depressants can take a long time to work. They're not like antibiotics where you're feeling better in a few days. That's just not how it works.
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder nearly ten years ago and have been on and off meds ever since. The meds can be a lifesaver (they certainly were for me), but they only work if you take them.
No- you can call their office and tell them about your concerns and your psychiatrist can switch your meds if need be.
You have been getting the same advice on here for months and months. I'm not sure what else you want us to say.
I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure that true depression can't be "cured" by saying "**** it all."
A bad mood? Sure. But depression? Nope.
Please take my advice as both a mom and an educator: if you're depressed, really depressed, then you can't "cure" it on your own-- no more than you could cure Mono or remove a tumor through will power.
Your mental health is of parmount importance. So if the only way to get to that intake interview is to skip a class, then choose the class in which you have the highest grade and the fewest absences, and get to that interview.
If you had a fever of 102 and were dizzy, you would treat this as real medical issue and get help, right? OK, this is a real medical issue, and you've told us you have the symptoms. Your mental health is every bit as important to your well being as your physical health.
If you're having "dangerous thoughts" then this is an emergency. TODAY-- right now-- I want you to make your RA aware of the situation. Email or print up your OP and get it to an adult. NOW. Right now. Call your parents if you need to, get on a bus and go home, do what you need to do to get the help you need.
Seven years ago I woke up with a big lump in my breast. Wishing it away, hoping it away, none of that worked. Our bodies simply don't work that way. Seeing the appropriate medical professionals is what you do when your body is exhibiting signs of a problem.
OK, get off the computer, and deal with the signs that there's a problem. Two hours from when you read this, I want you to post that you've taken some steps to let someone else know there's a problem, OK?
4.0 gpa and AA in math from CC I believe. That enabled you to get a full tuition scholarship from your college.
You are almost done with school!
You have had some setbacks with health problems, the anxiety attacks and such.
This is an illness and you need help to treat it so you can get better.
So go get help!
OP, please take the advice that has been given you and get help. All THREE of my children have been diagnosed with mental illness of varying severity. Medicine and therapy has helped all of them.
If you don't want to contact a crisis line, I suggest that you call your local chapter of NAMI - they might be able to recommend other actions you can take.