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It's okay to be average, right?
vwlizard
320 replies33 threads Member
There are so many kids on this board with amazing accomplishments and SSAT score.
My kid is average. Average ability, average ECs, good at a certain sport that isn't really valued by schools, the typical kid who has a few interests, but I don't know if they'd be passions. I'm pretty sure his SSAT scores will stink (and not the "I got below a 90" kind of stink that we hear about on CC). And all of that's okay. But is it okay for boarding school AOs?
We are applying to schools that aren't usually mentioned much here. They are smaller. I know they are not considered competitive but we like what they have to offer in terms of academics, ECs, relationships, etc. Our purpose is not what college he will get into but giving him the opportunity to figure out who he is, try new things and learn from mistakes over the next 4 years.
If I had to describe DS, I'd say curious, kind, eager to try new things and an asset to the community. He's not the kid that's always the leader, but he'll be the kid that makes sure things get done even if he's the one cleaning up the gym after an activity. If interviews go well, they will see this in him. If not, he's going to definitely look like nothing special.
So, my question is, does "average" cut it for the lesser known schools?
39 replies My kid is average. Average ability, average ECs, good at a certain sport that isn't really valued by schools, the typical kid who has a few interests, but I don't know if they'd be passions. I'm pretty sure his SSAT scores will stink (and not the "I got below a 90" kind of stink that we hear about on CC). And all of that's okay. But is it okay for boarding school AOs?
We are applying to schools that aren't usually mentioned much here. They are smaller. I know they are not considered competitive but we like what they have to offer in terms of academics, ECs, relationships, etc. Our purpose is not what college he will get into but giving him the opportunity to figure out who he is, try new things and learn from mistakes over the next 4 years.
If I had to describe DS, I'd say curious, kind, eager to try new things and an asset to the community. He's not the kid that's always the leader, but he'll be the kid that makes sure things get done even if he's the one cleaning up the gym after an activity. If interviews go well, they will see this in him. If not, he's going to definitely look like nothing special.
So, my question is, does "average" cut it for the lesser known schools?
This discussion has been closed.
Replies to: It's okay to be average, right?
Adding my hugs to those of Center's! >:D<
Being average can be a bless.
My d is at one of those small average boarding school. Good thing about average boarding schools is that, thanks to the abundant resource they have, they still offer the same quality academic teaching, ECs, relationships, etc. And with parents with such healthy expectations, I am sure your s will get exactly what you want him to get.
Your s sounds lovely and I envy the character you described. And the answer is a definite yes.
Especially at BS, everyone has a purpose in the community. He seems like he has the right disposition to find his and be valued for it. Help him pick a place that embraces this kind of philosophy.
And, bravery. It takes a lot of courage to go on this adventure. HT to all the kids who want to go on this journey because it takes a lot of grit and a great deal of determination. @vwlizard , your son sounds like the ideal candidate for BS. You're in it for all the right reasons.
Maybe CC is just skewed toward incredibly high achievers and top-tier schools. The students we met on tours were accomplished and impressive, but I could totally see my son in some of them. In fact, one of my favorite moments was getting lost at one of the schools and asking a freshman for directions. He was unpolished and kind of clueless and it was great. It was a reminder that the polished seniors that were being paraded in front of us did not enter school that way.
Perhaps it's time to give some of those hidden gems some love on CC. We have really loved all but one of the schools we visited and don't view them as "less than" in any way. In fact, I think we'd choose them over many of the schools often talked about here because they share our educational philosophy and values. We are totally planning on loving the school that loves us. Just really, really hoping that at least ONE does.
Many of us have tried over the years to do just this (there's even a dedicated thread on the topic)...but the HADES-or-bust/go-big-or-stay-home tide is strong and seemingly never ceasing.
In any regard, I second @SevenDad and @vwlizard in a HURRAH FOR HIDDEN GEMS!!! And as for @Golfgr8, DS school rose to the top of his list for that very same environment. The best part is...those kids are still holding doors open, helping lost parents, finding the students belonging to wandering parents, saying hello to just about everyone they pass in the hall, etc on a daily basis and not just "for show" for prospective students. Those same kids' parents have reached out to some of us long distance parents and driven kids to off-campus games, stores, etc (even when their own kid did not play the sport, mind you) to help us out when we not only didn't know DK needed help with such items, but had no idea how to arrange for it.
I also wonder, though, if the schools more often discussed on CC are done so more than the rest because these schools are much bigger, thus more alum, more active students and of course, more parents which = more cheerleaders. They aren't necessarily like Texas, where bigger is better
Rah, rah, hidden gems!
Rah rah to the hidden gems!
That's not to say that the two kids who did go " Big" had bad experiences- they didn't but they DID tire of their Heads constantly trying to gaslight parents or prospective families into thinking that they were this big happy family when no one on either campus felt that way. The "Big " school culture actually suited their personalities ( which was totally fine with us ) but the phoniness coming from their Heads in front of their parents or new families was a little hard for them to take sometimes like- Are you talking about us? Let's not get carried away....
It was especially hard for my husband. You don't want to sit next to my husband when he isn't buying what someone is selling. You just don't. I was dying inside , too - Like- Why pretend? Everyone knows!!!!! We're actually OKAY with it... Our kids don't talk to us about anything at all and we're completely in the dark about what goes on here ( snort- OMG- just stop! ).... We should definitely cut them another check because this is getting good!! What campus are we on? Are we at the wrong school? Is this when they start handing out purple liquid in paper cups?
And I know we weren't alone in feeling this way .... If anything- it felt like a missed opportunity and it was a disappointment. Especially for parents who went to BS themselves and experienced an amazing Head who walked the walk and inspired us every day.
Heads are very important to the overall experience . I cannot stress that enough. Do your due diligence.