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My parents are making me dorm with my sister (follow up)
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Replies to: My parents are making me dorm with my sister (follow up)
I have to say that I would feel incredibly stifled in your shoes so I can totally understand your angst. The good news is that it is time limited. Your time in college will fly by, and then once you graduate and are employed, you can do exactly what you want.
My advice to you is to get involved in stuff on campus, study with friends outside your room, etc... You can still make your college experience what you want it to be. Be busy enough on weekends that your parents cant demand you come home - be part of an academic team or whatever you are interested in that ties up your weekend time!
You can have a normal college experience even living with your sister. You make friends, join activities and study groups, and based on your own shedule, maybe not even dine with her (or not always.) This isn't much different than if you roomed with a hs acquaintance.
As for them moving, you'll find a way to deal with that. Call them, see them once in a while, that's a small proportion of your overall time. You can enjoy yourself.
I would say focus on the college experience while you are living there. Do your best in your classes and focus on getting involved in clubs. During summer working on internships might take you to living in different cities. Realize this is a temporary situation and just take it one school year at a time. The scenario may change after a year and your parents may realize that your are busy with your classes and activities that you don't have time to come home since you need to be on campus.
I will say this that when parents are micromanaging it just creates distance and resentment and at times can appear suffocating. Parents don't realize that by doing this they are actually going to have kids who distance themselves in the future because they feel suffocated. They may not realize it now but one day they will and have their regrets. The sign of good parenting is allowing your children to grow and become independent so that they can learn life skills and learn to manage things on their own and not be dependent on parents.
Once you get your degree you are free to take a job in any city you please. They can not keep moving wherever you decide would be best for your career.
Just wondering if your parents are first generation here and that you and your sister are the first to study here. That would explain their behavior. It could be fear of the unknown and how things work over here or perhaps that was the way they were raised.
Also, what sort of dorm are you talking about? Most dorms are one room, with two desks, two beds, etc, and the students share the same room - they don't have an apartment with two rooms in it. The "pods" or "suites" that you liked tend to have, indeed, 4 rooms for 4 people although some have 2 rooms for 4 people who share a bathroom.
Have you visited the university yet? Spent an overnight there? If not, you should make a request ASAP.
Have you applied to the Honors college? If it's by invitation or you need to have specific stats, are you near their typical profile? If so, do apply.
Your sister is probably as unhappy about this as you are. But it's WAY better to be living on campus than to be commuting, even if you live with your sister. You just make sure to have a packed schedule
I think it's an unfortunate situation and you can't do much right now. If you aren't placed with your sister or your sister's college plans change will your parents still allow you to dorm?
As far as dorms go I don't know if they would allow a male and female to share a dorm space. Usually males are in one dorm room and females in another though there are coed buildings. The only way I would think you could be living in the same apartment is if you both got something off campus together.
I am assuming you are the brother living with his sister.
Ok, so you have this situation. People say that your choices are to dorm with sister, or commute, but there are other choices, move out and get a job, or join something like Americorps, FEMAcorps or City Year where you get to do some form of community service in exchange for a stipend, room and board. If it appeals to you, you could join the military, but if it doesn't don't do that.
What do you want out of college academically, what are your aspirations?
If you're going to college for some particular mission (like a preprofessional program that you want), go and dorm with your sister and just sleep there. (I assume that you are female or it would be really weird). If you don't have particular plans for college but want the independence, maybe considering delaying college and apply to a program like Americorps or City year in a distant city. This will give you the independent life that you crave, and will also eventually condition your parents to understand that if they want to have a relationship with you, they have to let you live independently.