happy1Forum Champion Parents, Forum Champion AdmissionsPosts: 23,646Forum Champion
I always tried to teach my kids to be respectful of others and to expect respect in return. I don't think I had any "lessons" specifically geared towards freshman dorms. My kids dealt with different circumstances (S was not good friends with his freshman roommate who too often drank to excess often but they managed to coexist peacefully for the year, D was friends with freshman roommate) and both were fine.
Yes I guess we did -- but we have a house full of kids so rooming with siblings and getting on together and being reasonable and respectful was a life long lesson around here.
@Trixy34 My step daughter was pretty inflexible - she drove my daughters who always had each other underfoot bonkers during high school and honestly she stepped up and did well in college -- H and I were a bit worried about that.
I agree with @Trixy34 - it is one thing to help the guy out here and there -- everybody has their moments and I get it that sometimes you don't know your limit, but making it a habit like that I too would be done.
Not to be that mom, but I know S19 will be a good roommate. He’s pretty much the nicest guy I know. I worry more about him being a pushover like @liska21’s D. He will be overly careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings and I’m sure he will take care of a roommate who is sick or drunk. He’s not a drinker. Doesn’t even drink soda like someone mentioned above too! Super healthy runner guy. The only thing I’ve mentuoned to him so far is to not be judgmental about other kids drinking. Lots (dare I say most) kids are going to drink. If he doesn’t want friends who partake every once in a while, he may end up friendless.
He also has very high expectations of his friends. He’s been lucky in high school to have found like minds and boys who really have each other’s backs. It’s going to take time for him to forge relationships like these and he will need to be patient.
D2 had an apartment mate from hell when she lived off campus. The roommate thought it was reasonable to leave her snow boots in the kitchen sink (to be cleaned). She had a lot of packages delivered to the apartment, but would leave the boxes/trash in the apartment (expected D2 to take them out). She would use a whole role of toilet paper in one setting (D2 finally said she was not going to contribute to the toilet paper fund). She woke D2 up the night before D2's LSAT examin because she was having a hard time closing the living room blind.
Hm @homerdog I may have said this in another thread but our sons sound very similar (except for the running LOL!) @liska21 thanks...being a pushover is something I should probably talk about with him, and also the taking care of drunk roommate issue. I could see a risk of my non drinking DS being a little judgy about drinking and he is also fortunate to have a group of like minded friends in HS, and will also likely have to work to find that kind of group in college.
The last thing S19 needs is having to take care of wasted roommate. He won't even know what to do - when it seems bad enough to take him to a hospital or anything like that. He has zero experience. I will be livid if he ends up with someone he has to take care of. College is so expensive and I'm not interested in paying for that.
@toomanyteens sexiling = getting kicked out of your dorm room while your roommate has sex. sex + exile turned into a verb. D got kicked out a lot sometimes until really late (like 2-3am). Taking care of drunk roommate was also a low point. I really have no idea how D and her frosh roommate were matched---they were opposites in every possible way.
As for S19, well I hope the roommate matching works out better for him. I think he'll be a good roommate as he's a considerate and kind person if not terribly tidy. I may ask D to help him fill out his roommate form. She being a college student has a more realistic idea of annoying roommate behaviors. I was clearly clueless and no help to her when she filled out her roommate form. There were no questions about sex but there was about TV for example. It never occurred to us that someone would bring a TV and watch it at college. Or gaming, like video-gaming. Didn't know that was a thing either. Didn't realize the importance of having some minor overlap in tastes in music and movies.
I don't quite understand how a kid is kicked out of a room by a roommate. When D2 was approached by her roommate about her BF's visit, D2 told the roommate to get a hotel room with her BF or sleep in the sorority's guest room (in the basement).
Replies to: Did you prepare your kids to be good college roommates?
He also has very high expectations of his friends. He’s been lucky in high school to have found like minds and boys who really have each other’s backs. It’s going to take time for him to forge relationships like these and he will need to be patient.
=D>
Thanks, college credit is always welcome! :)
As for S19, well I hope the roommate matching works out better for him. I think he'll be a good roommate as he's a considerate and kind person if not terribly tidy. I may ask D to help him fill out his roommate form. She being a college student has a more realistic idea of annoying roommate behaviors. I was clearly clueless and no help to her when she filled out her roommate form. There were no questions about sex but there was about TV for example. It never occurred to us that someone would bring a TV and watch it at college. Or gaming, like video-gaming. Didn't know that was a thing either. Didn't realize the importance of having some minor overlap in tastes in music and movies.