Two things: First, I agree with @Lindagaf writing about trauma is rarely a good idea. One thing I have learned is that people can rarely process something which is traumatic and which they have no experience in dealing with ( this includes murder, rape, car jackings, drug abuse, terrorism etc etc). Sure they can empathize. But they can't process it. It's outside the realm of their experience.
Second, no school rejects you personally. They accept the best group of candidates based on who applies. They don't care that you like their school ( not a factor). They only care about the overall group. And finally, exposure essays raise a lot of questions: 1. Are you going to have issues after the event? 2. Is the person reading it getting a better sense of who you are and what you will bring to their community?
I wish you all the best. I hope that you get the therapy you need. I also hope that you can process the event and heal so that you can have a great college experience.
I am so, so sorry about the trauma you have endured and I am sending you hugs from a mother and SAT tutor who cares.
Writing about the trauma may not have helped your chances; I have no way of knowing. But I'll suggest this: No one is guaranteed entrance into a particular school based on one particular factor. I know you're not suggesting you should have been admitted to Brown because you were raped. Let's look at it from the other direction as well. Let's just say you wrote a top notch essay on a topic not relating to the rape. Even an amazing essay wouldn't guarantee your acceptance at Brown. The rest of your credentials (to the extent I've seen) are excellent but not exceptional at Brown. My daughter had perfect SAT scores, I think 9 APs (scoring a 4 on one and 5s on all the rest). She was an award winning singer, writer, artist and public speaker and had leadership positions on a number of extracurricular organizations. And she got rejected -- not waitlisted -- at Brown, which was her first choice school. Maybe her essays didn't resonate, maybe her chances were impacted by the fact that Brown accepted someone else from her small high school who applied ED, and maybe they just needed a cellist or hockey player or robotics enthusiast instead. Who knows? Maybe Brown just flat out made a mistake. Admissions departments are not perfect, they just do the best they can. There's no one perfect school for a student and no single perfect class of students for a school. Everyone tries to get the best match they can.
My advice to you is twofold:
(1) Meet with your guidance counselor and totally open up with him / her. Share your essays and tell him / her that Brown is your dream school. Get advice as to how to supplement your application, and then do all of those things. All of them. Project your positive, enthusiastic, resilient self. Do your best, and it may just work.
(2) Let go of any anger at Brown or self-doubt regarding yourself. We all try to make the best decisions we can at the time we make them (I'm talking about you and the Brown admissions office and my daughter and me and everyone). Sometimes the decisions turn out to be good, sometimes they are not so good, sometimes we'll never know. The key is to try to learn from past experiences but not dwell on them too much. You have and will have fantastic opportunities ahead of you. Do your best in this moment, and look forward with enthusiasm toward the great experiences that will unfold before you in the future.
Who knows why Brown did not admit you. It is time to turn your attention to other schools where you applied that you would be happy to attend. The school you choose to attend will be lucky to have you. If Brown admits you in the RD round, and you choose to attend, that is icing on the cake.
I assume you are female. By the way, It is much more difficult for a female to get into Brown than a male because many more females than males apply to Brown. The converse is true at MIT. More males apply to MIT than females. It is a numbers game and colleges work to achieve a roughly equal gender ratio. http://www.browndailyherald.com/2016/11/30/brown-consistently-admits-male-applicants-higher-rate/
@SoccerMomGenie I did not write my main common app about rape, just the additional info. You are right and I do need to move on. Thank you for the inspiring advice, I have talked to my counselor and she will also send a new report to Brown.
theloniusmonkRegistered UserPosts: 2,059Senior Member
"I view MIT as a tough place to flourish unless you love their culture and grueling work. Maybe I am wrong.
Why not to Rice or Pomona type of schools?"
A lot of this depends on the major but assuming it's MIT so a technical one, there's not going to be much difference between MIT, Rice and Pomona, except for the caliber of students. Retention and graduation rates for women at MIT are very good, first off, slightly better than men, and second as good or better than the grad rates of the colleges mentioned.
@alexandra00 : This Harvard student in the video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCUz-lBxUtY) has similar experience like yours. Also, in my YouTube feed today, this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWqYbrTQjfE) just shows up, which might be helpful to you. As you can see, some people do get in after being deferred. Her campus tour (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX45O1rSmB8) is short and sweet. My kid has been helping some of its HS friends applying to Brown. None of them got in so far. :-/ :-/ One thing which strikes me all the time is that kids there are so happy. Best luck to you.
@lookingforward@skieurope@websensation@Lindagaf@happy1 I am pretty sure I know why I was deferred
excerpt from my LOCI
I made significant mistakes on my Early Decision application, pasting my essays into the wrong prompts in the application and submitting a recommendation that had out of date information. My stress over being the perfect student and sending a perfect application led me to overthink and make mistakes. Although disappointing, my deferral has been a blessing in disguise. It has allowed me to accept that I'm not perfect and do not have to be. I have attached a new recommendation, and Brown is the only school to which I am submitting additional information. If admitted to Brown I will attend, not as the perfect person I aspired to be, but as the person I truly am.
I know have discovered that the rape essay was not what got me deferred.
Excerpt from my LOCI
"I made significant mistakes on my Early Decision application, pasting my essays into the wrong prompts in the application and submitting a recommendation that had out of date information. My stress over being the perfect student and sending a perfect application led me to overthink and make mistakes. Although disappointing, my deferral has been a blessing in disguise. It has allowed me to accept that I'm not perfect and do not have to be. I have attached a new recommendation, and Brown is the only school to which I am submitting additional information. Brown has always been my first choice and if I am admitted, I will absolutely attend, not as the perfect person I aspired to be, but as the person I truly am."
Wishing you the best of luck! Many of those who are deferred do eventually get accepted. I think it's the whole package they are accepting not just one piece. All the best.
You will be a great addition to whatever college community you decide to join. The person you "truly" are will resonate with people I am sure.
I know the waiting is a killer but stay confident with the knowledge you have given it your best shot. Hope you wind up at Brown but first and foremost I wish you continued happiness.
@Nocreativity1 thank you! After a lot of soul searching. I've decided I might go to a LAC or Women's college (Smith, Kenyon, Grinnell, Wellesley, Barnard) in a way I am happy that I was deferred from Brown as I might not have been as happy there. My boyfriend is a sophomore at Brown and I was nervous that I was applying there early for the wrong reasons. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement.
Replies to: Brown you broke my heart (Don't write about Rape)
Second, no school rejects you personally. They accept the best group of candidates based on who applies. They don't care that you like their school ( not a factor). They only care about the overall group. And finally, exposure essays raise a lot of questions: 1. Are you going to have issues after the event? 2. Is the person reading it getting a better sense of who you are and what you will bring to their community?
I wish you all the best. I hope that you get the therapy you need. I also hope that you can process the event and heal so that you can have a great college experience.
I am so, so sorry about the trauma you have endured and I am sending you hugs from a mother and SAT tutor who cares.
Writing about the trauma may not have helped your chances; I have no way of knowing. But I'll suggest this: No one is guaranteed entrance into a particular school based on one particular factor. I know you're not suggesting you should have been admitted to Brown because you were raped. Let's look at it from the other direction as well. Let's just say you wrote a top notch essay on a topic not relating to the rape. Even an amazing essay wouldn't guarantee your acceptance at Brown. The rest of your credentials (to the extent I've seen) are excellent but not exceptional at Brown. My daughter had perfect SAT scores, I think 9 APs (scoring a 4 on one and 5s on all the rest). She was an award winning singer, writer, artist and public speaker and had leadership positions on a number of extracurricular organizations. And she got rejected -- not waitlisted -- at Brown, which was her first choice school. Maybe her essays didn't resonate, maybe her chances were impacted by the fact that Brown accepted someone else from her small high school who applied ED, and maybe they just needed a cellist or hockey player or robotics enthusiast instead. Who knows? Maybe Brown just flat out made a mistake. Admissions departments are not perfect, they just do the best they can. There's no one perfect school for a student and no single perfect class of students for a school. Everyone tries to get the best match they can.
My advice to you is twofold:
(1) Meet with your guidance counselor and totally open up with him / her. Share your essays and tell him / her that Brown is your dream school. Get advice as to how to supplement your application, and then do all of those things. All of them. Project your positive, enthusiastic, resilient self. Do your best, and it may just work.
(2) Let go of any anger at Brown or self-doubt regarding yourself. We all try to make the best decisions we can at the time we make them (I'm talking about you and the Brown admissions office and my daughter and me and everyone). Sometimes the decisions turn out to be good, sometimes they are not so good, sometimes we'll never know. The key is to try to learn from past experiences but not dwell on them too much. You have and will have fantastic opportunities ahead of you. Do your best in this moment, and look forward with enthusiasm toward the great experiences that will unfold before you in the future.
I wish you all the best!
I assume you are female. By the way, It is much more difficult for a female to get into Brown than a male because many more females than males apply to Brown. The converse is true at MIT. More males apply to MIT than females. It is a numbers game and colleges work to achieve a roughly equal gender ratio. http://www.browndailyherald.com/2016/11/30/brown-consistently-admits-male-applicants-higher-rate/
Why not to Rice or Pomona type of schools?"
A lot of this depends on the major but assuming it's MIT so a technical one, there's not going to be much difference between MIT, Rice and Pomona, except for the caliber of students. Retention and graduation rates for women at MIT are very good, first off, slightly better than men, and second as good or better than the grad rates of the colleges mentioned.
excerpt from my LOCI
I made significant mistakes on my Early Decision application, pasting my essays into the wrong prompts in the application and submitting a recommendation that had out of date information. My stress over being the perfect student and sending a perfect application led me to overthink and make mistakes. Although disappointing, my deferral has been a blessing in disguise. It has allowed me to accept that I'm not perfect and do not have to be. I have attached a new recommendation, and Brown is the only school to which I am submitting additional information. If admitted to Brown I will attend, not as the perfect person I aspired to be, but as the person I truly am.
I know have discovered that the rape essay was not what got me deferred.
Excerpt from my LOCI
"I made significant mistakes on my Early Decision application, pasting my essays into the wrong prompts in the application and submitting a recommendation that had out of date information. My stress over being the perfect student and sending a perfect application led me to overthink and make mistakes. Although disappointing, my deferral has been a blessing in disguise. It has allowed me to accept that I'm not perfect and do not have to be. I have attached a new recommendation, and Brown is the only school to which I am submitting additional information. Brown has always been my first choice and if I am admitted, I will absolutely attend, not as the perfect person I aspired to be, but as the person I truly am."
I know the waiting is a killer but stay confident with the knowledge you have given it your best shot. Hope you wind up at Brown but first and foremost I wish you continued happiness.