Help Me Please

helpmepls20 · February 2019

So I was accepted to a small liberal arts school (which I will not name) and at first I thought I was excited but now I am regretting it so much. The only reason I applied is bc I thought I had no chance of getting in and was pressure by my parents and am realizing it might not be the right fit for me. Now I am freaking out about what to do and am unsure of what to do. I found another school that I like more, but at the end of the day I dont want to be blacklisted. HELP ME PLS what do I do?

happy1 · February 2019

Were you accepted binding ED? If so when you, your parents, and your guidance counselor all signed the ED agreement you agreed to attend if the school is affordable. If you didn't get accepted under an ED agreement then you are free to attend any college you get into and can afford.

helpmepls20 · February 2019

I got accepted under an ED agreement but I was completely pressure by my parents and the anxiety of not getting into a school got the best of me. I have no idea what to do now and am very scared I will be blacklisted if I try to pull out

helpmepls20 · February 2019

It is also not a matter of finances and I've heard that is the only reason a school wouldn't blacklist someone

happy1 · February 2019

You were accepted under an ED agreement. Finances are not an issue. You have committed to attend that college.

crknwk2000 · February 2019

That's a tough one. Is your college counselor at school someone that you feel good about talking with? If so, I'd talk to he/she and see what they say. I'd also have a really honest conversation with your parents.

helpmepls20 · February 2019

I'm going in to talk with my counselor on Monday but I am so worried about it.The stress has driven me to the point of crying. Ultimately, it is my fault I was unsure of whether to ED or not and due to pressure and stress I did thinking I wouldn't even get in. It is completely my fault and I regret it with all my heart, if I could go back in time I wouldn't even have applied. Now I am fearful that if I pull out from the school, they will ultimately blacklist me

akin67 · February 2019

What happens if you find a way to pull out without getting blacklisted. Your acceptance will almost certainly be rescinded, and of the other schools you applied to, you don't get into as good of a school? At that point, attending the liberal arts college is no longer an option. Are you OK with that. What don't you like about the liberal arts college? Why don't you think it is not a fit? Have you visited the school? Why did your parents pressure you to apply ED to the LAC?

helpmepls20 · February 2019

I am fine with that. To be completely honest the school is too small and I just do not think it is the right fit thinking about it more. I was on the fence for the whole month of October going back and forth on whether to apply ED when I should've just applied EA. Ive visited the school and had a great interview. My parents pressure was coming from a good place, they kept saying it was a "perfect fit" and that if I didn't apply ED anywhere I wouldn't get in to any schools. I have another school in mind that I want to apply to I just don't want this school to blacklist me.

vonlost · February 2019

No school wants a student who does not want to attend. Talk to the school.

richardmiller · February 2019

You should be grateful that your parents are even able to support you during the college admission process. Unless you are willing to pay for your own education, just go to the school your parents want you to go to!!!

happy1 · February 2019

You seem more than a little selfish. You are worried YOU will be blacklisted? Yet you don't consider that if you break the ED agreement future students at your HS may be hurt admissions-wise for years to come if the college does not feel that your HS honors ED agreements.

In our HS the guidance counselor would not allow you to walk away from an ED agreement if the school is affordable. The GC would not send your transcript to any other college but your ED school. Frankly, all of your other applications should already have been withdrawn.

ED is something to be taken seriously. I am sorry you did not do so but as of now I'd suggest you attend your ED college or perhaps consider a gap year.

MWolf · February 2019

The fact that you're saying that you're worried "that it might not be a good fit", makes me think you are getting cold feet, or some other type of buyer's remorse. Those types of feelings are pretty normal, and, unless somebody is entirely gung ho about a school, committing to go this early can make somebody feel trapped. It's normal, especially for kids your age.

I would recommend that you take a deep breath, and consider all the reasons that your parents think that it is a good school. Also think why your interview was so good. Have a frank discussion with your parents and hear why they think that the school is a good fit. Speak with the teachers who wrote you letters of recommendation, and see whether they think that the school is a good fit, and also speak with your GC.

I do believe that, if you spoke with the admissions of the school, they may agree to release you, but I would guess that it would depend on whether you have been accepted by a "better" school already.

However, in all seriousness, if your main issue is that it's too small, and you may not fit, I believe that you should calm down, find out all the reasons that this school would be a great place, and then go there, and you'll do great and have a wonderful and successful four years.

SJ2727 · February 2019

It’s a pity you felt pressured, but you are kind of painted into a corner now. Attend, you may love it, if you don’t then look at transferring out after freshman year to somewhere that suits you better.

dadof2d · February 2019

Why didn't you withdraw your others apps once you were accepted ED?

Publisher · February 2019

You can always transfer to another school after your first year at the "too small" LAC.

austinmshauri · February 2019

What does your current favorite school have that your ED school doesn't?

PetraMC · February 2019

This is reason #283 why I don't like ED. It's becoming almost required to declare one (and at one private school nearby, I hear rumors that it IS required.)

I suspect you have a case of buyer's remorse.You're in an environment where everyone is stressed and excited over a variety of schools. It's impossible not to compare! Once you start college, you'll be surrounded by people excited to be THERE. It will feel very different. Is this school in your top 5 picks? If so, I'd say go. (Even if not, you may not really have a choice at this point.)

If you go next fall and can't make it work, then transfer.

You should be grateful that your parents are even able to support you during the college admission process. Unless you are willing to pay for your own education, just go to the school your parents want you to go to!!!

I think this is such an unfair way to look at paying for college. It's not as if those students would be able to suddenly quality for FA and be able to get loans on their own. They have to be independent for a year or more to be "free" of their parents income and considered poor enough to qualify for aid.
IMO both parents and students should be happy with the pick.

Publisher · February 2019

@helpmepls20 : Everybody makes mistakes. This one is correctable. Just be sure to talk with your parents & your high school counselor before communicating with the school.

Help Me Please

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