what college would you go to if you were me?

alostcollegekid · February 2019

So in May i will be graduating community college and transferring to a 4 year university to finish my bachelors. the problem is I did not plan to get this far. I kept flunking and going in and out of college (2013 til now), so it didn't look like I would graduate, and now that I am unprepared for whats next. I am currently majoring in business and plan on transferring and my major will be business computer information systems or business informatics. The problem is, the local university (the university of louisiana at lafayette) is making it hard for me to transfer there. They are counting all the classes I failed and that makes my gpa low (which means I am not getting a scholarship), and I have to do admissions by committee (which I did and never heard anything back, it been a month). Also for some reason, business informatics is in the college of engineering, so my classes don't exactly align.

I applied to Louisiana Tech University, got accepted in the business computer information systems, my gpa is higher there (2.8), and all of my classes transfer. The problem is that the college is 3 hrs away, I'm 24 yrs and still live with my mom, and also I would have to bring my dog to live with me (my mom doesn't want to keep him from me). I have other colleges that are closer (like an hr or 2 away) that have my major (nicholls state, southeastern, northwestern) I just don't want to go to those colleges. The university of louisiana at monroe is 3 hrs a way, but also have my major. The problem is my mom doesn't think i will make it if i live that far away, and if I need help no one will be able to help me because I am too far away. She wants me to try to make it work at the local uni or change my major so i can just get in (she has never been to college).

I toured louisiana tech, it's in a small town and i already been accepted to that school, why would i go somewhere else where it would be hard for me to get in or even succeed there? Even my friends think I should leave and go away to college. it's just my my family that have a problem with me going away. I just want to make the right decision, because you can't transfer once you're a jr. so this will be my home for the next 2 yrs. My mom is almost 60 and I she wants me close because she's getting older. I am bad at making life changing decisions, please help.

jym626 · February 2019

Your mom is only in her 50’s and she’s “getting older”?? You’re killin’ me! Why do they think you can’t make it on your own? Is it financial or something else? If the school you like is affordable, has your major, will take you and credit your classes and is only 3 hours away, it shouldn’t like a no-brainer. Who is paying fo your education/housing when you go for your junior/senior years?

jym626 · February 2019

Autocorrect above— you’ll say. “it should be a no-brainer”

alostcollegekid · February 2019

I don’t have a job. And Financial aid (pell grants and fed loans). It’s hard for me to work and go to school. Every time I tired I flunked out of college. And they think I can’t be independent

albertsax · February 2019

You're going to need to become independent at some point. As you said, your mother is getting older, and she won't be able to support you forever. You and your family will need to decide whether your independence will be now, or sometime in the future.

Knowsstuff · February 2019

There has to be more to this story. You don't "need" to have your dog.... Do you?

Also you haven't shown your parents you can make it since your failing some classes.

Your mom is giving you an excuse to be home and it's not because of her age. 60 is not old anymore!!? (geez, I am going to be 58).

You need a sit down with your parents. If you do go away you need to get with an academic counselor like day 1. Even if you stay home I would do this.

So I assume some learning issue or other issues? Work on those also.

Determination and perseverance is what makes people success in life. You have a GOAL. Make it happen anyway that is affordable to you.

alostcollegekid · February 2019

I do “have” to have my dog. No one else is gonna take him in (because I asked already). My mom gave me this dog after my grandma passed away, but for some reason doesn’t want to keep him. My mom for some reason keep saying, “what would yo do if I died” obviously doing the same crap I’m doing now. And as for sitting down and talking to her, there is none. Every time I try to explain what’s going on it’s like “ I know someone at the university, let’s see if she can help you get in.” “Oh you might have to change your major then” “why go to school so far away, I don’t like driving, so if you need help you’re stuck then.” I feel like I have no support. When I told her I got into the university 3hrs away, it was like she was mad. Didn’t even say I’m happy for you or anything. I honestly think my family think I’m a joke or something because they don’t care about me until I say I’m graduating. Like while I was struggling in school they didn’t help, or offer a word of encouragement.

jym626 · February 2019

If your mom is being verbally and/or emotionally abusive, move away. Its unclear, though, how you plan to pay for college.

Knowsstuff · February 2019

Well now for the realistic part. If you stay home vs move away.. Who's paying for college?

jym626 · February 2019

Your mom “gave” you your late grandmother’s dog? Does that mean she had to figure out what to do with it so she told you to take care of it? If you moved away and left the dog at her house, would she get rid of it?

lostaccount · February 2019

Sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do. Your post reads as if it were written by a high school student with little understanding of college. Have you thought of the military? Yes I'm being harsh but how long do you want to be clueless and derailed by small impediments? How long do you want to stumble around until someone puts you on the path you thought you were on to begin with? "man" it up! Stop failing classes. Start planning your future. Be an adult. Your mamma does not want to separate you from your dog? That's irrelevent. You discuss failing courses as if they just sort of happened to you (as in " I kept flunking and going in and out of college"). Your mamma doesn't mind you failing class after class and wasting those resources? Start doing your homework-both when you take a class and about taking classes. Figure out your finances and what is affordable. Stop taking a passive approach to your life. It is passing you by!

alostcollegekid · February 2019

I was going in and out of college. But I haven’t failed a class in almost 2 yrs. also I failed because I was failing the test but I did good on homework. The problem was the teachers I had, they didn’t grade homework. So now I have teachers that grade that, which makes a huge difference. Also my teachers at least give me an idea wants on the test so I can adequatelay prepare for them now. So somehow someway I did take charge of my life. Also, The military isn’t for everyone my sister was in the military, I don’t think it’s worth it. She now has pstd. It’s not worth your freedom for free college. After you get out the government doesn’t give a damn about you. The reason I’m probably so lost is because I am the first person in my family to graduate college or even go. I was the first person to graduate high school in my family. So all this is uncharted territory for me and them. Other people have someone to go to if they need advice like this, I don’t. How I’m paying for college is pell grants and federal student loans. I’m not taking out private loans like sally Mae and Wells Fargo. My family is barely middle class so no one saved money for me to go to college. Every time I had a job they didn’t want to work with my school schedule so I quit. I was going to get fired anyway because they would schedule me to work during the time I had classes. Come to think about it when my sister joined the military my mom was more angry than happy. She actually told her not to go. The only person that was really supportive of me was my grandmother before died. My mom thinks that my sister and I should take care of her now that she’s older (like give her money). I’m sorry my life didn’t pan out the way you wanted to

CaMom13 · February 2019

So you've made it this far - congratulations. You've gotten from "mostly failing" community college classes to passing them. You've been admitted to a 4 year university, which you never thought you'd be able to accomplish. You have done lots of things above and beyond your initial expectations for yourself. But you're still tied to your home and your mother and you're in debt. The dog is really just a distraction - you can take a dog anywhere you like if you try hard enough.

I would say you need to look at life as less of "can I manage the next step" and more of a master plan. Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be? Your mom's expectations are hers to own - your expectations of yourself and your future are yours but you have to own the big picture, including finances. Your sister escaped in her own way (the military) and there were costs - you need to figure out your own path to adulthood and independance. None of the paths will be easy but one will be the right on for you.

If *I* were you I would get a job with my AA degree and learn to live independantly and cope without my family before proceeding with undertaking more education and more debt - but that's me. I am not you. You're old enough to think and plan for yourself and you HAVE progressed so take the next step - own your own plans and start looking at what you can be, not what other people tell you to be, and how best you can get there. Once you know what you want and what you're willing to give up to get there, people on CC can probably be more helpful and less critical.

Rivers4 · February 2019

Does the combination of your Pell Grant plus federal loans cover the total cost (i.e. tuition, fees, room and board, books, etc.) to attend Louisiana Tech?

jym626 · February 2019

I may have misread— did your mom get you a dog do help deal wit the loss of your grandmother, or was it your grandmother’s dog? Also, at 24 ye are independent for the FAFSA so your parents being middle class should not matter, though being Pell eligible already addresses/acknowledges the low income.

thingamajig · February 2019

I want to talk about your dog what are your options can your sister take the dog? Can u find a living situation where u can keep the dog at LSU? Is the dog a particular breed and someone from the breed rescue club could take it in? There are
Many other things you should or could do about the other issues but don’t let the dog stop you... I believe finding a spot for the dog is a good first step. Pets are important but you and your education are important too I think

alostcollegekid · February 2019

I couldn't even go to LSU if I wanted to. My sister has a 4 yr old daughter and she can barely take care of herself honestly in my opinion. My mom is not going to kept the dog, I asked and asked. The reason I want to keep him is for protection (i'm a girl) when I move and also my mom would throw it in my face that I got rid of him. she would also throw it in my face if I moved, failed (class or being homeless). that's why I'm crossing the T's and dotting the I's in making sure I make the right decision. The dog was a gift from her friend for us helping save her brothers life, my mom okayed the dog because I had one that just died and my grandma died in a one month period. The dog was bounced from home to home before I got him (I got him when he was a puppy) that's why I just don't want to put him in a shelter, I would rather someone I personally know to take him in. La Tech Tuition is $3,445.00 (this is listed on there site) quarter for this quarter (it could go up or down in the fall which is when I plan to transfer) My aid looks like it will cover ever thing. The tuition at La Tech is cheaper than the University of Louisiana at Lafayette (my local uni) which is $4,922 semester (both includes 12 credit hours). I don't want anything thrown in my face, I just want peace and support to live my life. If someone is wrong you don't criticize them, you just explain why they're wrong.

ProfessorPlum168 · February 2019

How about going to South Central Louisiana State? I knew a Mud Dog who had a somewhat similar situation to yours.

Seriously, I don’t see the big deal with living in off-campus housing with the dog. Sounds like you just need to make a decision and just do it.

Knowsstuff · February 2019

Go to your cheapest option that you can afford. Maybe you can get a roommate to be able to afford an apt. That might help your dog situation. Do whatever is your cheapest option if you can get everything covered with room /board. Then try for any scholarships you can. Work the summer and make what you can to save. Doing work study doesn't have to be a lot either. All schools I know will work with you with your school schedule. Find a work study job that you work less then 10 hours a week. Most you would work like a 3 hour shift. Do one shift for now and see how it goes. Look at it as something to do for social reasons. My daughter is a junior transfer and is doing barista work on the school cafe. She is meeting a lot of students by making their latte /coffees. She just works enough for spending money and to get away from studying.

twoinanddone · February 2019

You haven't been accepted to the local option yet, so the question may be moot. If they are considering you for the college of engineering, that may be a tough admission and yes, many schools do consider all those bad grades from 6 years ago. being in the college of engineering is also going to be tough. The requirements won't be the same as if you were in the department of arts and sciences. Make sure you WANT to be in the college of engineering.

TrendaLeigh · February 2019

Congrats on finishing CC!

Have you looked for off-campus housing near Louisiana Tech University where you can keep your dog? I would think that at 24, on-campus housing may not be the right option anyway.

I don't mean to be harsh, but your mom sounds like she's quite manipulative with you and your sister. 59 is not old and three hours is not the other side of the country...You need to stand on your own two feet (and maybe stand up to her) or she will still be trying to control your life choices at 50. I agree that you also need to have a real plan in place for the next three to five years.

Have you considered going part-time so that you have your "sea legs" under you before tackling a full load? You want to set yourself up for success, so make sure you have all the pieces in place!

Good luck!

what college would you go to if you were me?

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