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My parents are making me dorm with my sister (follow up)

13

Replies to: My parents are making me dorm with my sister (follow up)

  • raclutraclut 3756 replies239 threads Senior Member
    If you are two sisters then I don't see what the big deal is of sharing a dorm or apartment with your sister. At least you will be with someone you know vs a chance of having a horrible roommate. Be grateful that you get to live on campus.
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  • mommdcmommdc 11906 replies31 threads Senior Member
    While it may not be your ideal situation, look at the positives.

    You know your sister, an unknown roommate could be a bad fit or worse.

    You will meet friends and might spend most of your time away from the room.

    If you do need a familiar face, your sister will be there.

    She will graduate in two years and hopefully you can then live with another roommate.
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  • cupcakehinatacupcakehinata 25 replies2 threads Junior Member
    edited February 2019
    Never mind guys :( dorms are out of the equation and I have to commute :''')
    edited February 2019
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  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 43209 replies471 threads Senior Member
    What happened?
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  • UndeninUndenin 1 replies3 threads New Member
    They forced you to take a college that was somewhere they could move to? Okay, that's actually very helicopter-parent of them to do. Honestly, it doesn't sound like you are gonna get any freedom until you become independent and don't rely on their money at all. As long as their paying for your room and board/tuition, you kind of have to deal with their demands. That really sucks honestly, but since your sister is a junior in college you'll at least be able to have your own dorm for like 2 years?

    I guess you could find friends that are understanding of your situation, and try to go over at their dorm rooms when you get the chance. Later you can try getting an apartment but that would mean you'd need to start working and making enough to sustain yourself. Not sure if your parents would like that though.
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  • cupcakehinatacupcakehinata 25 replies2 threads Junior Member
    Yeah, I'm not letting it get me down too much. I'm going to get a job so I can keep myself busy on my down time, and I'll spend as much time AWAY from home as I can. The reason I can't dorm is because my dad is 100% against loans so I can't take any out to pay for my room and board. We don't have enough money to pay for four years on campus, and I don't qualify for any grants. Sucks ://
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  • mommdcmommdc 11906 replies31 threads Senior Member
    Is the sister also commuting?
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  • cupcakehinatacupcakehinata 25 replies2 threads Junior Member
    yes, but she will be going into her junior year of college.
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  • damon30damon30 1147 replies5 threads Senior Member
    I actually kind of like this story. The parents are teaching their children independence (to get away from them), facilitating their education and not saddling them with crippling debt. There have been many worse outcomes on these boards.
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  • cupcakehinatacupcakehinata 25 replies2 threads Junior Member
    @damon30 - I mean I get what you're saying, but what exactly am I learning from anything that my parents are "teaching me"? They are setting me up for failure by not allowing me to make mistakes, not know what it is like living on my own, not allowing me the rights to freedom that I deserve? They are literally picking up everything and MOVING 30 minutes away from my campus. I don't know if you saw my previous post, but I can't dorm anymore. I will be commuting as a freshman. Yes, I get the luxury of not being in "crippling debt", but I also will never have that experience of knowing the feeling of doing anything for myself. I will enter the "real world" completely lost.
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  • mommdcmommdc 11906 replies31 threads Senior Member
    You can revisit this in a few years. Nobody is entitled to a college education. Be thankful you can go.

    16 months, and then you will be done, maybe sooner. Then you can pay for your own rent hopefully and live where you want.
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  • CheddarcheeseMNCheddarcheeseMN 3679 replies14 threads Senior Member
    "not allowing me the rights to freedom that I deserve" Oh jeez. They are not chaining you to your bed.
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  • MYOS1634MYOS1634 43209 replies471 threads Senior Member
    Living on your own first in a dorm, then in an apartment, is a good system to learn autonomy and independence. It sucks and it's unfair that you can't have that experience, but many kids don't have it either. So, you'll make do - and get the best grades you can, use career services starting freshman year to have a formated resume, prepare for internships, join clubs and groups, so that you can get a great job and make it possible or your children to dorm.

    As a commuter, your challenges will be to achieve the following
    1) consider college your full time job. Take classes at 9 am, and stay till the library closes. Do not go home for lunch/ dinner/naps, participate in the clubs, study groups, and review sessions that take place 7-10pm.
    2) get an on campus job and save money.
    Your freedom will come from your ability to hold a job and have money in your own bank account.
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  • LynnskiLynnski 245 replies12 threads Junior Member
    I would LOVE to move to the town where my child will be attending college! But my husband, child, friends, colleagues, extended family members, and everyone else I've ever known would all tell me I was out of my mind.

    It's odd that this family has no such reality checks. But 4 years will pass, and the OP's independence will eventually be won. This level of family dependence is unusual and a little scary, tbh.
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  • cupcakehinatacupcakehinata 25 replies2 threads Junior Member
    Thanks everyone for your input, whether you agree or disagree with how I feel about the situation. I've gotten over it a bit, just took a while. It's pretty interesting reading the viewpoints of other parents, and it's refreshing to know I'm not calling my parents crazy for no reason. I guess the reason why I was so upset in the past was because I thought my parents would always treat me like a high schooler no matter how old I was. As in, I would be a 22/23 year old in college and because I'm still living at home, they would treat me like I was 16..... it's whatever now. nothing i can do to stop my mother. I'll do whatever I can to get myself to where I wish to be. Whether that's studying and working at the same time to pay for my own apartment or staying at home and finishing my degree, I'll just let life take the reigns.
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  • cptofthehousecptofthehouse 30390 replies59 threads Senior Member
    I’m sorry you are not getting what you wanted. I didn’t think having to room with your sister was so terrible. Some people feel s randomly picked stranger more stressful.

    Now it’s not an issue. I figured the chances small you can just order up a two room suite for your kids at most schools.

    It’s your parents’ money. They don’t have to give you a dime. Or a place to live or anything. You are 18, you can walk out the door and do it on your own. Anything they offer to you at this point is a gift.
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  • cupcakehinatacupcakehinata 25 replies2 threads Junior Member
    Also, I lived in a very well-off community and basically all of my friends and everyone I know gets to go off and have a wonderful fantastic college life on their own.. I know NO ONE who is having the same situation as me, not even online, so it's been a tough and confusing ride for me. Again, thanks for all the reality checks and advice you have all given me.
    Just to clear things up:
    - I'm commuting my freshman year
    -No dorms involved
    -My parents bought a home in the city my college resides in, we have already moved in fact. It is about 30 minutes from campus.

    I feel very grateful and fortunate to be able to further my education, traditional college life or not. Thanks.
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