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Traveling with your adult kids and their significant others
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Replies to: Traveling with your adult kids and their significant others
When we traveled with S1 and former DIL, they always had their own room. She was very introverted and needed her space, so they booked and paid for it. We paid for meals. Driving in a car with all five of us was torture for her.
We haven't done much travelling with our kids and their spouses, other than going to one kid's wedding, which is something of a special case -- pretty much every moment was scheduled, but not by us. My wife is definitely a knock-on-the-door-at-seven, don't-waste-a-minute person, so touristing with our children's spouses would require some thought.
We have a vacation home in a resort area and all the kids visit fairly often. We don’t impose schedules—only rule is that kids need to let us know if they aren’t showing up for dinner. H enjoys cooking foodie-type dinners when the kids and spouse/significant other are visiting.
Last vacation was at our summer house. DIL brought her parents as well. We provided lodging (our house) and I made lobster rolls for lunches on the days we ate in. We also paid for dinners at restaurants. In-laws never paid but it doesn't bother me because over the years they have been feeding my son more often since they live closer.
My Dad used to pay for everything on family vacations and I am very willing to continue the tradition. Our kids remember those memories fondly with their cousins and I want my grandchildren to share memories with us.
Our daughter lives in Amsterdam with her husband and we're taking them to Germany this summer. I miss my D so much that I expected to spend every moment with her. I'm glad this forum reminds me that they will need some down time away from us!
I've booked apartments/ homes where they will have their own room and we will have an area to cook together which we enjoy. We're paying for flights, car rental, overnight accommodations and groceries.
My son in law is great but he tends to want to stop for mid-day coffee breaks, order appetizers and more expensive entrees than we typically would order. I've told my daughter that we will run separate tabs at restaurants but give them them a set amount of money to cover their meals. I think this will help me relax when he orders all the extras and also allow him to order whatever he wants.
While I asked their input on the itinerary, I need to remember that he hasn't spent 10 years traveling with us and we need to create new traditionss.
For the most part, we are paying for everything except for their expenses when they're by themselves. We also offered to pay for SO's flight but he insisted that he'll cover his plane ticket. Which is nice.
Any advice for first time parent traveling with kid's SO?
I operate under the assumption they will be a permanent part of the family and try to be very accepting and welcoming.
I also think you are smart to schedule some time where they younger folks can do things on their own. We are each used to family members quirks and idiosyncrasies but non family members aren't. So good to give them a break for a bit.
We have also done beach vacations which have been very stressful.
I think at this point, I would be open to a family cruise since there can be a lot of autonomy on a ship but not much else. We just have very different priorities on vacation.