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Should I bring a current relationship into College
RjGrizzy
5 replies1 threads New Member
in College Life
Hello
So my question is, my current girlfriend and I already have been talking about continuing into college but I wanna know if people with experience that had done this, do you regret it? I do wanna break it up with her but she doesn't and wants to try to make it work. She is a year ahead and has already been through her first year when I am just going into college. Also we have sort of a LD she lives an hour away and when we go to back to school it'll be almost 3 hours. I guess i could try but I feel like I am just gonna want to meet more girls and have fun with out a serious relationship.What do you guys think I should do?
Thanks, Ryan
19 replies So my question is, my current girlfriend and I already have been talking about continuing into college but I wanna know if people with experience that had done this, do you regret it? I do wanna break it up with her but she doesn't and wants to try to make it work. She is a year ahead and has already been through her first year when I am just going into college. Also we have sort of a LD she lives an hour away and when we go to back to school it'll be almost 3 hours. I guess i could try but I feel like I am just gonna want to meet more girls and have fun with out a serious relationship.What do you guys think I should do?
Thanks, Ryan
This discussion has been closed.
Replies to: Should I bring a current relationship into College
It is not fair for either of you. You should not stay in a relationship out of a feeling of obligation, and she should find a relationship with somebody who wants to be with her.
She is wrong. "Making it work" is what you do when both parties are interested in staying together, but there are external or internal issues that make this difficult. If one of the parties is not interested in the relationship, there is nothing that can work. You can make a car work if there is something wrong with the engine, but not if the engine has been removed.
Do your very best to end it well - be polite, respectful, and kind. However, end it.
on the other hand....
This is what usually happens with HS Boyfriends/Girlfriends:
You swear YOU TWO ARE DIFFERENT! You can make it work!
At first you facetime every day!
But then you realize that is annoying to your roommate/you have no privacy so you try to find times to facetime when your roommate isn't there.
But you have classes and he has classes and you joined that club and he is on the intramural soccer team so maybe we can talk on Tuesdays.
He has that co-ed group of friends he goes out on weekends with and you have your group from the dorm.
Oh, here comes Fall break...but his is at a different weekend than yours so you can't get together...
There is that one person in the group that you/he kind of likes...but you have girl/boyfriend!
Why isn't he talking to you as often? or Why are you looking at excuses not to talk to him?
So you look forward to thanksgiving...but by then you are kind of really into that other guy/he is really into that other girl and you kind of get together over break and ooohhhhh noooo you have a fight about not talking as much anymore and you break up.
It's called the Turkey Drop.
Ryan
If you don't want to date her the kindest thing you can do is to (nicely) break up with her. Don't mention the freedom you'll have at college or the opportunity to date others.
And do NOT tell her you only dated her because your mom talked you into it.
Just tell her honestly that you've had a great time together but you don't want to date her anymore. You don't need to explain why, and it's really better not to try even if you're asked. The only reasonable answer is because you don't want to.
Ryan
I would suggest not being in contact for a few months if either of you asks "can we be friends."..Heal from the relationship first.