Afraid that my writing style is too abstract?

First, you must remember that the essay is only 650 words. The type of writing you are describing is very difficult to shape into such a short piece.

Secondly although you personally admire and appreciate your writing style, IMHO, you must ask yourself, if others can not understand what I am trying to say, is it truly effective? The purpose of writing is to be able to convey thoughts to others.

At the very least, work with a good English teacher on your essay and maybe you can shape your stye into an essay that would be a successful for a college application. Good luck!