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White man calls police on black man waiting for a friend in apartment building

Emsmom1Emsmom1 1008 replies80 threads Senior Member
https://www.forbes.com/sites/rachelsandler/2019/07/09/white-man-calls-police-on-black-man-waiting-for-friend-at-san-francisco-apartment-building/#68fb4d9d62b5
What do people think about this? At first, I thought it was another example of racial profiling, but after seeing Don Lemon and reading more about the incident, I'm not sure. I live in a condo building and would be very uncomfortable with someone following me in, regardless of sex or race or anything else, especially if my building had been robbed (although, to be honest, I hate confrontation, so I probably wouldn't say anything). Also, Mr. Cukor's (the man who called the police) father was killed by a trespasser in front of his own home. So, we have two people: one that has been racially profiled before and came to the situation with his own unique background, and one whose father had been killed by a trespasser and who also came to the situation with his own unique background.
Was anyone right here? What should have happened? What would you have done?

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Replies to: White man calls police on black man waiting for a friend in apartment building

  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 83860 replies744 threads Senior Member
    edited July 2019
    From this one incident, no one other then perhaps Cukor can know whether Cukor was more paranoid than most people, racist, or both. Following someone into an otherwise-locked building is not recommended generally, although it may be common and commonly tolerated practice. But it opens the door for "selective enforcement" and unwanted confrontations if observed by a paranoid or racist person.

    The article does not say what any responding police officers did (rolled their eyes?).
    edited July 2019
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  • Leigh22Leigh22 1066 replies9 threads Senior Member
    I too initially thought it was racial profiling - shame on me. Without all the facts, it is easy to jump to conclusions. I do believe Mr Cukor when he states that he has done this before for safety reasons, regardless of race. I also believe and understand why the other man felt he was being profiled. I don’t think either is right or wrong.
    Having lived in a building like this, I would have been very uncomfortable with someone, regardless of race, piggybacking in. Especially if robberies occurred in the past. As a woman, I dont know if I’d have been vocal, definitely not if I had a child with me.
    The police never came. Cukor told 911 that indeed the man was meeting someone.
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  • momofsenior1momofsenior1 10423 replies123 threads Senior Member
    Sounds like in this particular case, Cukor would have called the police on anyone that piggybacked into the building. D's dorm building had a series of break ins months back by two men that piggybacked in pretending to be older brothers of a student.
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  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 13237 replies247 threads Senior Member
    The piggybacking thing is always awkward. Do you hold the door? Shut it in someone's face? As the visitor, if it is held do you walk in or wave off the resident so you can use the intercom to call your host?

    I have had it at my kid's college too - I'm walking in (with her key) and an obvious student is behind me, so I let him follow me. Do I do that if he is less obviously a student?

    All the normal stuff about who appears threatening to people is at play in this situation. I suspect the less threatening looking stranger is let in more than the more threatening looking one, and race has something to do with that.
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  • GnocchiBGnocchiB 2078 replies230 threads Senior Member
    I saw an initial wave of articles a few days ago, but nothing since then. Has the story gotten more air time and has there been anything said about people complaining to YouTube (where I think Cukor works)?
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  • roycroftmomroycroftmom 4609 replies40 threads Senior Member
    I would call on anyone older than 8 and younger than 80 years of age. I deliberately seek apartments with this level of security, and if it isn't being observed,I'm furious. If you don't want to follow the rules or ask your guests to do so, move out. Otherwise don't play a fake race card on someone trying to get security rules enforced-they exist for a reason, and the cavalier way some ignore them says a lot about their sense of entitlement. If it was their little one living alone in an apartment with all sorts of trespassars, you can bet they would care.
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  • BunsenBurnerBunsenBurner 41472 replies480 threads Senior Member
    I would have done the same thing - asked the person to wait outside. If the person refused, I would have called 911. I did not let a person in at the kiddo's condo building once (the guy who was trying to sneak in was white and nerdy and claimed that he was waiting for a resident to show up).
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  • roycroftmomroycroftmom 4609 replies40 threads Senior Member
    Are some men really that clueless that they do not realize that women may feel vulnerable and threatened by trespassers (regardless of their race)? Do they really not know any women who have been attacked, or do they just not care? Don't they have sisters, daughters, moms?
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  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus 83860 replies744 threads Senior Member
    Meanwhile, college students let others follow them into their dorms (or prop open the dorm doors) all the time, but then complain when stuff gets stolen...

    Unfortunately, when enforcement of a rule is rare, it is not surprising that it commonly is and/or is seen to be selective based on other reasons.
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  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 13237 replies247 threads Senior Member
    @roycroftmom wasn't this a man?
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  • roycroftmomroycroftmom 4609 replies40 threads Senior Member
    Yes, the person tailgating was a man. It seems like it is almost always a man tailgating-either women are more likely to follow the rules about calling, or when/If they tailgate they have kids with them or have other indicia of not being threats. I dont think the gender of the caller is relevant-presumably people enforce rules on behalf of others, including their spouses and kids or elderly neighbors or whomever. I may very well be capable of fighting off an attacker, that doesn't mean my kids are, or that one has to be personally weak to be threatened by trespassers.
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  • crankyoldmancrankyoldman 700 replies59 threads Member
    Surprised no one has mentioned the Seinfeld episode on tailgating(two men, same race).....no good resolution there, either.
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  • OHMomof2OHMomof2 13237 replies247 threads Senior Member
    edited July 2019
    @roycroftmom the resident who called the police was also a man. The one who the other guy tailgated, if you will.

    That's why I'm confused by your post about understanding women being vulnerable. I don't think any women were present for this.
    edited July 2019
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  • HeartofDixieHeartofDixie 322 replies12 threads Member
    I think the tailgater was in the wrong and the guy that called was well within his rights. The only thing I don't understand is why he didn't put distance between himself and the other guy before calling. If I had the experience of my father being killed by a trespasser I would use a lot more caution, not to mention that he had his son with him, no way would I endanger my child.
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  • Emsmom1Emsmom1 1008 replies80 threads Senior Member
    Now there is a campaign to have Cukor fired from his position at YouTube.
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  • Midwest67Midwest67 4192 replies15 threads Senior Member
    Female here. I would hope if I lived in a secure building, it would be...secure.

    It’s good people are aware of tailgating & willing to call someone out re: whether that person belongs in the building.

    What if the tailgater was my violent ex-BF or ex-spouse or stalker or simply a crime opportunist?

    Gavin deBecker has a very disturbing account of a crime against a woman where the man slipped in the secure door to the building. :-(
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  • MomofJandLMomofJandL 2105 replies41 threads Senior Member
    And yet a woman in St. Louis lost her job last year for challenging a tailgater. Be very careful, unless someone tries to shame you with an cell phone video.
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