What to do with my parents

makaylaheather · July 10

So in the spring I found a pre vet college that’s 40 minutes away. A few months down the road I go visit this vet college (which is where I want to go to learn how to be a vet). It’s a beautiful place I love the state. But there’s a few problems. 1. It’s in s different state and it’s expensive, and I would have to live with my boyfriend of 6 months to be able to afford live there. In the spring I can apply for the schools scholarship which will more than likely get accepted. Good things is I can be on the equestrian team, it’s a vet school and I have friends there already and I wanna live with my boyfriend. The other college in my state I would get in for free but it’s super far and a really small university, plus I would have to give up my horse showing sport. Would the more expansive college be a wrong choice ? If not how do I go and tell my parents I’ll be moving in with my boyfriend ?

lookingforward · July 10

https://www.aavmc.org/students-applicants-and-advisors/pre-vet-student-resources
You don't need a "pre-vet college" to take the required/recomended courses and get theright field experience.

twoinanddone · July 10

These are adult decisions. Sometimes you have to give up something, like showing your horse, to go to college. If your parents are paying for college, they get to be part of the decisions.

Knowsstuff · July 11

Really?

myrna97 · July 11

Don't put yourself in the position of not being able to break up with your boyfriend because you would have to leave your college if you move out of his place.

Empireapple · July 11

I understand how important showing your horse is to you. I would encourage you to look for an alternative means of housing other than living with your boyfriend. Think out of the box like renting a room in someone's house, working as a live in housekeeper for a year...something. Find a way to do both - go to the school of your choice, showing your horse, but NOT living with your boyfriend.

oldfort · July 11

There is no way I would allow my daughter to move in with her BF freshman year and depend on him for room and board. If I were the BF's parents I would expect the GF's parents to pay for half of room and board (that's if I let my son to do that).
There is no certainty you'll get the scholarship in spring.

austinmshauri · July 11

At most colleges you need to supply your parents financial information to be eligible for grants. Students whose parents refuse to complete the forms aren't even considered. How do you expect to pay for rent, utilities, transportation, personal expenses, food, and health insurance?

momofsenior1 · July 11

Are your parents paying for college? If so, they get a say.

If you were my D, there is no way that I'd let you move in with the boyfriend as a freshman. 40 minutes is a commutable distance from home if you want to go there so badly and your parents can afford it.

Keep in mind that if you are planning on becoming a vet, you will have a lot of vet school costs and keeping your undergrad costs as low as possible should be a priority.

Creekland · July 11

Is this a specific Vet Tech program? If so, that's different than becoming a vet. Vet school requires regular pre-reqs the same as med school and can pretty much be done at every college out there just as pre-med can.

I'm confused how one place is free and the other is expensive with the free one being small, etc. Can you name the schools? Vet school will be very expensive, so make sure you've saved up money for that (unless being a Vet Tech is actually your end goal).

I assume you show your horse now. You can continue to show independently. You don't need a college for that. Last I knew intercollegiate equestrian showing used school horses and not your own anyway - at least - that's the way it was a few moons ago when I was on a college team. Someone can correct me if that's changed over a few decades.

When I read your post it honestly sounds like you mainly want to move in with your boyfriend. Note that this is common "puppy love" directed by hormones (can't help myself, I teach Biology). Puppy love wears off most of the time. It's much better if you don't get yourself into a situation where you feel you MUST stay in the relationship because "what else can you do?" Too many bad stories with that. It's far better to be sure he's the "right one" from further afield. 'Tis tough to go from being boyfriend to friend (or enemy) and still live together.

cptofthehouse · July 11

I get the same vibe that the main thing here is to move in with the boyfriend. I think it’s s very bad idea. I absolutely would not support it and would withdraw my support if my kid were either party, the boyfriend or the OP in this situation. If either wanted to do this, it would have to be entirely financed without my involvement.

So unless you and boyfriend can swing all of this on your own, you are going to have to run this by your parents and his.

aunt bea · July 11

Moving in with your boyfriend means you will be spending a LOT of time doing a lot of household chores and having a LOT of expenses. You won't have a maid or a parent doing chores for you; you will be the "maid".
So you are preparing yourself for:
-Laundry- you have to buy detergent and pay for the laundromat.
-Cleaning the kitchen, the bathroom, making the bed, washing sheets, and replacing items will be non-stop and will be on you (buying toilet paper, paper towels, hand soap, groceries, etc.).
-Finances: You live with a boyfriend, you both need money. Where will you be working?--Meals have to be prepared. Who is going to do that and pay for that?
"My boyfriend and I will share everything including the chores". Nope, in reality that is rare when you move in with the boyfriend.
-I don't know where "showing your horse" will be as a priority.
-When will you study?
-How far is the campus? Will you need to drive there and pay for gas & maintenance, parking fees?

In a dorm, you share your room and keep your side of the room clean and do your own laundry. The Commons prepares your meals. You walk or bike to class.
Becoming an adult includes being responsible. Playing "house" means you have to deal with those pesky adult issues like balancing daily living needs and seeing a gynecologist.

If you think you are ready to live with your boyfriend, then you should be responsible enough to know what to say to your parents. Sorry, but from what your post indicates, the reality is that you are not ready to go to a university.
You are asking an internet forum, to help you persuade your parents to let you play "house" and to continue to "show your horse". To me, this translates as your education will not be a priority. When would you go to class? When would you study?
Coursework in college is tough. It's not at the level of high school classes-you will be expected to go to labs, tutoring sessions, professors' office hours, etc. You need to make education your priority.

MYOS1634 · July 13

-what state do you live in?
- what are your stats?
- what are the two colleges?
- what's your parents' busget? For college?

What to do with my parents

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