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Can someone please explain applying to colleges SOLELY for “bragging rights”? NOT related to F. A.??
Hoggirl
1989 replies206 threads Senior Member
I have a friend whose daughter will be attending a Big, OOS (to them) State U on a competitive merit scholarship. This has unequivocally been decided. Daughter still has application in at an elite, private, LAC that has not released decisions. They are not pulling her application as they want to see if she gets in. Friend has told me going there would make no financial sense now that dd has earned merit at the Big State U. To be fair, this LAC *might* have been a contender at some point but no longer is. Please know that they KNOW they would pay full-freight at such a school. It is NOT a matter of waiting to see if they receive enough need-based money as they will not receive any. Friend has told me, “Not pulling app as I want her to go six for six in her admissions.”
Similarly, I have a friend of a friend whose high-achieving son will be applying to college in two years. Again, these are people who KNOW they will not receive need-based aid but don’t want to pay full-freight. Again, I have no issue with this. However, they want to “see if he can get in to Harvard.”
I do not understand this mindset at all. Our ds only applied to colleges that he was interested in attending whether elite or not. Why do people go fishing?
I fear this question will go down the rabbit trail of, “Sometimes elites are less expensive than Public U’s.” I am VERY aware of this - I promise. But, for purposes of my query, can we please not consider this aspect? I want to know, hypothetically, why students apply to colleges JUST for the sake of bragging rights when they know they will not attend. Why do parents encourage this?
53 replies Similarly, I have a friend of a friend whose high-achieving son will be applying to college in two years. Again, these are people who KNOW they will not receive need-based aid but don’t want to pay full-freight. Again, I have no issue with this. However, they want to “see if he can get in to Harvard.”
I do not understand this mindset at all. Our ds only applied to colleges that he was interested in attending whether elite or not. Why do people go fishing?
I fear this question will go down the rabbit trail of, “Sometimes elites are less expensive than Public U’s.” I am VERY aware of this - I promise. But, for purposes of my query, can we please not consider this aspect? I want to know, hypothetically, why students apply to colleges JUST for the sake of bragging rights when they know they will not attend. Why do parents encourage this?
Replies to: Can someone please explain applying to colleges SOLELY for “bragging rights”? NOT related to F. A.??
Personally I think it’s not being a good member of society. If you know for a fact that your kid will never attend, you are taking away someone else’s slot or bumping them to a wait list.
Many on CC think getting into some college is the equivalent to graduating from that college. They'll say, "I got into Harvard but went to big state U instead" And.....your degree is from big state U. So, what?
On the other hand, they might be thinking, it's a long shot but the kid might get accepted and get some money. You can get money even if you make $200K at some schools. So they also might like to think they are wealthy enough to get no aid, when in fact they would receive some aid.
Actually, I would think it would just make the kid feel bad. They are going to big state U, but could have gone to prestigious little LAC? Which one did they actually prefer.
If they haven't officially accepted, is there any chance of merit aid?
In the case of Harvard, even families abover $150k (or $180k) get aid so is that a possibility?
I can't understand doing this at all. So they can spend the rest of their lives telling people they got into Harvard or wherever? College isn't about getting in. It's about what happens once there.
But prestige is apparently a strong motivator for many. I would worry, as @momofsenior1 said, that they are taking a spot from someone else.
My daughter has talked about applying somewhere "just to see". In her case, she goes to school with a lot of 1%ers who can easily pay full freight. It makes her feel a bit "less than" that she's a better student than some of them and can't just apply where ever she wants. I don't see it ending well, so don't encourage it at all. Either she doesn't get in and feels like crap. Or gets in and can't go, and feels like crap!
It may be ego to some degree, but it can be hard for people to know how others really see them. Having some definitive marker can be an affirmation or a challenge, depending on what the outcome is.
So if colleges do it, then perhaps bragging rights improves one's personal brand? Dunno.
I think it's a bunch of baloney and just "feeds the beast" that is the college admissions process today.
I understand if parents/kids want to see "who gives them more money", but in the cases I see, none of these people will get a dime for need base, and very minimal for merit base if any.
I don't understand the mentality either. So many applied to 8-10 safeties and low reaches. I mean of all the safeties, shouldn't you know which safety (maybe 1 or 2) that you would absolutely love going to?
People also say things they really don’t mean too. I’ve known a number of folks who said a number of times that their kids were applying to HPYet al just to see if they could gain enter, and lo and behold, when accepted , the kids actually went there. Parents coughed up the money somehow, somewhere.
Had zip to do with FA.
This could put the other current applicants at a distinct disadvantage, plus if lots of acceptances are regularly turned down from x private school, expect to see fewer acceptances in the future.
Case #1: Since app is already in, and decisions are expected next month, there's no harm in waiting to see the results. I totally get that, wanting to know if they got in
Case #2: I think it is too early to say how this family situation will be at the time of college apps. I seriously doubt that one can predict someone's chances at HYP in Freshman/Soph years.
But what I see often here is, someone gets into a Top school with only need-based FA, and then they decide it is $$$ compared to our excellent instate Flagship.
May be the kids apply w/o discussing finances with parents, or parents are ignorant of the process (new immigrants) or hope their kid magically gets a full-ride !
Agree with @cptofthehouse: Sometimes parents agree to Full pay after kid gets into an elite school.
There are many reasons to leave an application open, and reasons like "maybe I'll change my mind", or "maybe they'll make a better financial offer than the initial one" are good reasons. Even using is as a bargaining chip for schools which will negotiate on aid. However this sounds like pure vicarious ego inflation.
On the other hand, as @cptofthehouse mentioned, sometimes people say one thing because they refuse to admit that they really would like to see their kid at that college, but do not want to admit it. Instead of the parents immaturely needing bragging rights, the parents immaturely are trying to maintain so illusion of who they are (I'm too cool a parent to care whether they are accepted, I'm just doing it for bragging rights". People are strange and a lot of 40 year old "adults" maintain middle school behaviors.