How to Advise My Girl?

caruth · June 2008

Take a serious look at McDaniel College outside of Baltimore. It is a small, liberal arts school, beautiful campus, very nurturing and supportive environment with a theater program. Probably a safety for her GPA and scores, and has alot of merit money to give for her level academically. Having an ADHD daughter myself with ongoing anxiety disorder and some OCD, I feel these issues should be primary in finding the right "fit" for her. A small, nurturing school will help bring out the best she can be...good luck, and try to relax a bit.

mominva · June 2008

How about Wagner on Staten Island?

cptofthehouse · July 2008

The reason I honed in on the LD aspect of your daughter's profile is because college is such a stressful change for so many kids, that having a supportive environment is very important. That your daughter is eligible for support services from those colleges that have them could be beneficial to her. It can be a brutal time for kids whose emotional, behavioral, mood issues need help. Academically, there is a wide spread on that list with some excellent, selective schools there that offer support services.

That there is a discrepancy between your D's gpa and her test scores is an indication that something is making it difficult for her to work to her potential. Her ld issues are certainly on that list as the culprit. At college, you often get kids who are very capable of doing the work. It is not the difficulty of the work that most causes issues, but the lack of study skills, focus, organization, motivation that comes into play. Your daughters issues touch on all of those factors, and that will be the area where she will need some extra help.

That said, my son had a similar discrepancy between grades and SATs. We made sure that he had schools on his list where he was in the upper 25% or more in his test scores since we knew is grades could be an issue if he were applying at schools where most of the kids had test scores in his range. Where his test scores stood out, I felt there might be some forgiveness for the grades whereas if they did not, there would be no reason for a school to accept him over the many other kids with higher grades and the same range of test scores. He did not have any hook to throw into the mix, so we had to make the higher test scores a "hook" of sorts since colleges do want to raise their test score ranges.

MommaJ · July 2008

Oh yes, I didn't mean to suggest we were not taking all her issues into account--they have been the primary focus of raising this child from day one, and of course continue to impact every part of her life. It took three tries to find the right overnight camp--I just hope finding the right college will be less arduous! The small, nurturing LAC concept sounds right at first blush, but then I ask myself, what happens four years later? There are no small and nurturing careers and adult lifestyles. Perhaps college should be the time to begin to find ways to cope on one's own--not to say I want to throw her into a shark-infested competitive pool, but I'm also leery of bubblewrapping her. Right now her 504 plan includes the right to just leave the classroom and take refuge with her guidance counselor (the woman is a gift from heaven) when she needs to decompress for a bit. This kind of thing won't be available at college or later life, so, at some point, she has to learn other, more internalized coping mechanisms.

Let me add that my experience with my older child has made me less, not more comfortable with this process. He got into his dream school ED, hated it, lost heart and did poorly, and was able to transfer only to a lesser school where floated through aimlessly. So I want to help daughter make a better choice than he did; I was a very blase "do whatever you like, dear" mom then; between his experience and her complications, now I'm much more anxious. It is SO helpful to be able to thrash this out with your support and encouragement!

cmmimg · July 2008

I know this sort of thing isn't always looked upone highly, but I wonder if simply a different environment like college will itself help your daughter. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with many learning problems, etc. at a younger age, but once the learning styles changed and he could be more self-directed he thrived. Anyway, I must say, your daughter sounds so much more interesting than most of these "perfect" applicants. I wouldn't stress too much about the GPA/SAT difference...if anything it adds color and intrique (potential). Just don't go for the top. Other than that, if she finds a school, or a few, that she is passionate about and can convey the fit in admissions essays, etc. then she should do well even if the stats don't match perfectly. Stay with less competitive schools that talk about balance...that there are other things to college than classes or your resume. I'm not familiar enough with the East coast schools, but a SLAC definitely seems like an ideal fit. I'd be a little afraid of getting too lost in a big U.

stacy · July 2008

this is off the main topic a little bit, but I would argue that there are small, nurturing careers and adult lifestyles. There are jobs with more flexible schedules, that involve working in quiet environments, with relatively few people, etc. It's possible to live in a small town (or a city that provides for relative anonymity, if that's preferable) or close to supportive family members or whatever. I wonder if there are career/life coaches that specialize in working with people with LDs (there must be--otherwise it's a great niche for someone to fill!) I know it's not your priority now, but I bet it's possible for the future.

Also, one thing to look at is a school where a lot of students stay in the area after graduation--even if it's a place far from where you live now. Your D will have 4 years to get used to the place and would have a ready-made support network when she graduates. It was hard for me to graduate and see my friends scatter--I think in that regard my sister had it easier because so many of her classmates stayed in the same city with her.

bartleby · July 2008

I've heard great things about Northeastern in Boston from people who are similar to your daughter. You should check it out. (They also have a very good program for people with "learning differences.")

2boysima · July 2008

Another vote for looking at Conn College. Also...Union in Schnectady, Clark in Worcester. What about UVM (you would need to check out their support services)

How to Advise My Girl?

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