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Kids getting into mischief?

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Replies to: Kids getting into mischief?

  • NorthstarmomNorthstarmom 24049 replies804 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 24,853 Senior Member
    "ingerp, I know what the OP is asking for, but language counts. Describing a DWI as "mischief" is NOT going to be helpful to the OP, not here, not during college admissions."

    I agree. Describing a DUI to us or to any other responsible adult who has any control over you --including your college admissions -- is likely to have them conclude that you are not taking seriously the fact that you committed an illegal act that could have caused your or someone else's death. Many people -- including me -- have friends or relatives who were killed due to someone's driving drunk, so your DUI along with your cavalier description of it would be a hot button for many people.

    You asked what parents would do if their kids got into this kind of trouble. To my knowledge, neither of my sons has received a DUI, but a few years ago, I learned that my older son, then about age 21, was driving drunk. My husband and I were so alarmed that we urged him to get some kind of treatment for what at the very least seemed to be substance abuse. We also refused to help him buy a car to replace his one that no longer ran, and we urged other relatives not to help him obtain another car.

    There's a chance that my son -- who was out of school and living independently of us then and now -- lost his license perhaps because of a DUI as he no longer has a car, and he gets around via public transportation in the city where he lives, a place that happens to have excellent public transportation. He claims that he does this because he doesn't like to drive. However, prior to that, he was an avid driver, so I don't know if he is using public transportation by choice.

    I do know, though, that I consider DUI a very serious offense, and would do whatever I could to restrict an offspring from driving who was charged with DUI or whom I caught driving drunk.
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  • sabaraysabaray 7012 replies80 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 7,092 Senior Member
    To the OP: my son has been in your shoes. He turned 18 the June before his senior year and did something very, very foolish for which he was charged and prosecuted. It was not a DWI but stupid nonetheless. He was not the greatest student to begin with and this didn't help matters much. He does have a problem with alcohol but thankfully (from a legal perspective only, folks) it was not a factor in this incident.

    ADad, I agree that the OP should become different. Alcohol abuse/addiction is a disease. For some people it's just not about having the willpower to just say no. We had a pretty active thread on drinking in college that the OP should read.

    On applications they will ask you to explain the situation, as they will ask you about any charges you're facing or have faced in the past. My son was already involved in activities that were meaningful to him and ramped up his efforts. He also took responsibility for what he had done and noted the stupidity of his actions and what he had learned from the incident.

    He's in college. We're still struggling with the alcoholism. I wish it wasn't a struggle but please, get some help. My biggest fear as a parent is being called to identify my son's body. Don't let that become your parents' fear as well.
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  • dbwesdbwes 1561 replies99 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,660 Senior Member
    Listen to sabaray, OP.
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  • nngmmnngmm 5613 replies95 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,708 Senior Member
    I don't recall seeing a question about legal issues on any application.
    It is on EVERY application.
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  • ericmodifyericmodify 70 replies9 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 79 Junior Member
    Thanks sabaray. Sorry I did not want to specify on the details of the case, but since this has sparked some controversy I will.

    I blew a 0.00 into the breathalyzer, the reason I am looking at a DWI is because I took adderall earlier in the day for my A.D.D. In Texas, if the policeman 'thinks' you were unfit to drive, then he can file for a DWI. He 'thought' I was unfit to drive because I lost my balance a little bit when I tried to walk in a straight line because I was wearing sandals.

    I was pulled over because I had a tailight out. So, I was looking for advice on what to do and some people have only been too good to oblige, while most everyone else is criticizing my grammer.

    Can I get info on what your kids, or what your friends kids did to get in?
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  • nngmmnngmm 5613 replies95 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 5,708 Senior Member
    Are you saying that you did not drink anything, got pulled over for a tailgate light, tripped over your sandal, got DWI, and never thought of it as a problem?
    Where is the "mischief" here? What does Adderall have to do with any of this? What is it that you claimed to "take seriously" in your previous posts?

    Sorry kid, but you just sound like you got caught, and are trying to find an easy way out. This is not going to work for you.
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  • violadadvioladad 6351 replies294 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 6,645 Senior Member
    I'm sorry, but something just doesn't ring true here.

    You've gotten sage advice here. Let me add my comments.

    If you're not being honest, you will have issues that will haunt you for a long time. In college, your professional and personal life. Break the pattern now, learn from a mistake, and own up to it. Take your lumps and move on, with an understanding of the gravity of the alleged offense, and take steps to avoid a re-occurrence or similar issues.

    If what you state is true about the meds, you need your parents and a lawyer involved. Medical history, prescription useage/dosages, med timing may serve to prove you not guilty. If it were my kid, I'd be asking how to fight and clear erroneous or false charges as opposed to how to deal with this on a college app.

    Realize also that a similar offense/conviction for drugs will prohibit a student from eligibility for federal need based aid for a specific time period. The details are outlined on the FAFSA webpages. Perhaps if the rules were amended to include DUI/DWI as a similar aid stopper, it might serve to curtail some of the problem. But that's just my $.02.
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  • sabaraysabaray 7012 replies80 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 7,092 Senior Member
    Eric, what my son did only applies in his situation. What any other kid did to redeem himself only applies in their situation.

    I've heard all the stories. I've heard all the excuses. I want to believe you but I can't. Talk to your parents. You can work through this but first you have to acknowledge a problem and you haven't done that yet. That's the first step.
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  • ericmodifyericmodify 70 replies9 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 79 Junior Member
    Trying to prove myself not guilty on CC does not stand for anything. A paticuarally damaging statement my parents gave the police was that I had a glass of wine with dinner way before this happened. They are trying to say synergy of the adderral and the alcohol made me a dangerous driver and that is why this case is not looking good.

    I had to resign my position of stu co president yesterday because this talk in my community was making the administrators and my sponsers uneasy.

    If not taking adderral is what I have to do to not 'be safe on the road' and not get in trouble, I would be more than happy to not take it...but something just sounds wrong there
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  • PizzagirlPizzagirl 40174 replies320 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 40,494 Senior Member
    OP, can you please clarify -
    Were you indeed drinking and driving and suspected of a DUI, but the breathalyzer didn't pick up on it?

    Or were you just minding your own business, hadn't had a drop to drink, got pulled over for a busted taillight, and mistakenly accused of being drunk because you tripped from wearing sandals? (Why would a cop pulling someone over for a busted taillight need them to get out of the car and walk a straight line, anyway? Were you weaving / driving erratically?)

    Knowing which is it will help the parents on here help you (both from a college-admissions standpoint but more importantly, from a life-lesson standpoint). Good luck to you.
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  • ericmodifyericmodify 70 replies9 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 79 Junior Member
    Cops where I live routinely give high school kids trouble. This happened around 11 I had dinner around 630. The cop specifically said "you look suspicious", and when he asked if I could do his test in sandals I said yes because I thought I would pass easily...I didn't. He asked me if I took any drugs I said I took an adderral earlier because I have A.D.D so he arrested me because I was 'unfit' to drive.

    Later when the cops called my parents, for god knows what reason they mentioned I had a glass of wine at dinner, which I did. That's why this has become a nasty case...they law outlines that you do not have to be over .08 on the BAC to get a DWI, just unfit to drive do to however much alc or drugs.

    And no Pizzagirl, there was no erratic driving involved.
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  • PizzagirlPizzagirl 40174 replies320 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 40,494 Senior Member
    Were you breaking a curfew? In my area, teen drivers have curfews.
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  • ericmodifyericmodify 70 replies9 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 79 Junior Member
    Curfew is midnight so no
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  • goaliedadgoaliedad 2158 replies41 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 2,199 Senior Member
    Something is not right with the story here, as in another thread, the OP has indicated that he has resigned a school leadership position as a result of said DWI - hardly the actions of a person without fault in a situation like this.

    Most people who are pulled over and field-sobriety tested without good cause (broken tail light does not justify field-sobriety check, but the smell of a substance or other erratic behavior once the cop pulls you over does) fight the issue on all fronts, not just the legal front.

    The ADD drug reference is irrelevant. First, a breathalizer doesn't test for it. Second, that category of drug, if taken under the order of a physican in proper doses (not speed rushing) is not grounds for a DWI. Quite frankly, if the OP has ADD, I wouldn't want him out their without taking your medicine to help him focus.

    Addressing the original question, my advices is to answer all questions on the application honestly, update the application as the legal proceedings move forward, and deal with the consequences as a life lesson. Given the timing right now, the proceedings should be completed except for EA/ED situations. And a decent lawyer should be able to get it resolved one way or another (plea bargain or dismissal for lack of physical evidence on breathalyzer) even before those deadlines.

    OP may or may not be telling us the complete story. However, if he presents himself this way on college applications, he will definitely have difficulty showing the maturity that the highly competitive schools desire. Grades, test scores, URM status are meaningless if you demonstrate an attitude toward serious legal proceedings to which you are a party to.
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  • samiamysamiamy 1630 replies82 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 1,712 Senior Member
    Doesn't Texas have a zero tolerance policy for underage drinking regardless of the brethlyzer? Meaning the laws under 21 are different for a DUI/DWI and BAC levels over 21?
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