Kids getting into mischief?
ericmodify
70 replies9 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 79 Junior Member
This discussion has been closed.
ericmodify
70 replies9 discussionsRegistered User Posts: 79 Junior Member
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Replies to: Kids getting into mischief?
Driving while intoxicated is a crime, not mischief; it's a hostile act to the society in which you live and is life-threatening behavior, to you and others.
There are plenty of parents here who have experience in dealing with children who get into mischief, and children who commit crimes, and I'm sure you'll get advice from them. My only advice is not to call a DWI "mischief;" recognize what is really is so you can deal with the behavior which led to this criminal act in the first place.
Good luck to you.
I agree.
Consider yourself blessed to receive this wakeup call and opportunity to get yourself on the right track.
College should not be your first concern.
Being responsible is.
If you plan a trip abroad be sure to check this out waaaay early in the process to save embarrassment and wasted time.
Actually, how you describe your behavior in large part determines the behavior of others. Describing getting a DWI as "mischief" implies that you have certain notions about the severity of such a crime. Ironically, one of the implications is that you view your "mischief" with a certain air of... nonchalance.
It does indeed sound to me that you don't take your issues seriously; however, on the slim chance that you do, you should be more careful about how you phrase such issues in the future.
By the way, you might also want to consider the following: When asking for advice, don't reply to the first response with "it just doesn't work that way". If you have such extensive knowledge about the workings of the world, why are you here asking for advice?
Your use of the word "mischief" has received a uniformly negative response. This is useful information that you can exploit when you discuss your situation with other adults.
You are.
Your DWI is not "what happened", it's what you did and are responsible for and should make amends for.
Recovery Housing at Rutgers an oasis for students struggling with substance abuse — Rutgers FOCUS
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/202539-lost-scholarship-b-c-dui.html
OP:
Oh, changing the word you use to describe your crime may very well change the behavior of others! My immediate reaction to the use of the word "mischief" to describe your crime was extremely negative. It made me think "this kid is blowing this off, doesn't take this seriously, is excusing his/her behavior. THIS KID COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE/DIED AND DOESN'T CARE."
My first post reflected that; my behavior (posting to call you on your cavalier description of your behavior) was greatly influenced by your behavior (using the word "mischief" to describe your crime). In fact, I would not have posted on this thread at all had it not been for your use of the work "mischief."
Language matters.
To my advice above ("My only advice is not to call a DWI "mischief;" recognize what is really is so you can deal with the behavior which led to this criminal act in the first place."), I add what was implied but was not explicitly stated: Use language that demonstrates that you understand and appreciate the severity of what you did and shows that you take responsibility for your actions.
And one more: if you will be applying to college this year, that implies you are entering your senior year of high school, which means you are likely not of legal age to drink. You've already demonstrated that you cannot do so responsibly, and you likely can't do so legally, so don't do it at all.
Good luck to you.
Well, does OP merely want to manage the college applications process as best as possible under the circumstances? Or does OP actually want to improve himself, to be something different?
If OP wants to be different (as opposed to simply persuading worried colleges to admit him as he is), then I think that OP should volunteer. Involve himself in SADD, for example. Help injured children at a hospital.
In other words: show remorse, show that he is different, become different.
As in the college essay, Show, don't tell.
I agree. Describing a DUI to us or to any other responsible adult who has any control over you --including your college admissions -- is likely to have them conclude that you are not taking seriously the fact that you committed an illegal act that could have caused your or someone else's death. Many people -- including me -- have friends or relatives who were killed due to someone's driving drunk, so your DUI along with your cavalier description of it would be a hot button for many people.
You asked what parents would do if their kids got into this kind of trouble. To my knowledge, neither of my sons has received a DUI, but a few years ago, I learned that my older son, then about age 21, was driving drunk. My husband and I were so alarmed that we urged him to get some kind of treatment for what at the very least seemed to be substance abuse. We also refused to help him buy a car to replace his one that no longer ran, and we urged other relatives not to help him obtain another car.
There's a chance that my son -- who was out of school and living independently of us then and now -- lost his license perhaps because of a DUI as he no longer has a car, and he gets around via public transportation in the city where he lives, a place that happens to have excellent public transportation. He claims that he does this because he doesn't like to drive. However, prior to that, he was an avid driver, so I don't know if he is using public transportation by choice.
I do know, though, that I consider DUI a very serious offense, and would do whatever I could to restrict an offspring from driving who was charged with DUI or whom I caught driving drunk.
ADad, I agree that the OP should become different. Alcohol abuse/addiction is a disease. For some people it's just not about having the willpower to just say no. We had a pretty active thread on drinking in college that the OP should read.
On applications they will ask you to explain the situation, as they will ask you about any charges you're facing or have faced in the past. My son was already involved in activities that were meaningful to him and ramped up his efforts. He also took responsibility for what he had done and noted the stupidity of his actions and what he had learned from the incident.
He's in college. We're still struggling with the alcoholism. I wish it wasn't a struggle but please, get some help. My biggest fear as a parent is being called to identify my son's body. Don't let that become your parents' fear as well.
I blew a 0.00 into the breathalyzer, the reason I am looking at a DWI is because I took adderall earlier in the day for my A.D.D. In Texas, if the policeman 'thinks' you were unfit to drive, then he can file for a DWI. He 'thought' I was unfit to drive because I lost my balance a little bit when I tried to walk in a straight line because I was wearing sandals.
I was pulled over because I had a tailight out. So, I was looking for advice on what to do and some people have only been too good to oblige, while most everyone else is criticizing my grammer.
Can I get info on what your kids, or what your friends kids did to get in?