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Is my situation normal considering that I'm from an upper middle class family?

clockaddclockadd Registered User Posts: 9 New Member
I've already asked this question, but I didn't mention that my parents were upper-middle class. I'm 22 years old and I'll be graduating from college with my B.A. in a few months. In my field, there aren't really any jobs I can get right away that pay a ton. I'll have to start with a lower-paying job and work my way up towards a higher-paying job. The thing is, the jobs I'll start out with won't pay enough for me to support myself. Therefore, I'll probably be living with my parents for at-least a year after I've graduated and they'll be financially supporting me during that time as well. Is it normal for someone from an upper middle class family to still be financially dependent on their parents even after graduating from college? What if I lived with roommates and my parents helped with my apartment expenses? Would that be normal considering my parents are upper middle class?

Replies to: Is my situation normal considering that I'm from an upper middle class family?

  • TomSrOfBostonTomSrOfBoston Registered User Posts: 14,302 Senior Member
    Living at home is normal. Getting an allowance from your parents to live elsewhere with roommates is not.
  • chriswchrisw Registered User Posts: 1,585 Senior Member
    Was there something about my response to your other thread that you found so silly that there was no reason to acknowledge it?

    I can add one comment to my previous response, given the additional context you gave: Your parents' economic status is irrelevant to your ability to support yourself.
  • CheddarcheeseMNCheddarcheeseMN Registered User Posts: 2,899 Senior Member
    Getting a monthly allowance probably is not that common but it is more common for parents to buy a bed, etc. and pay for your security deposit in an apartment. Whether your parents are upper middle class isn't really that relevant.
  • ucbalumnusucbalumnus Registered User Posts: 72,269 Senior Member
    edited November 2016
    Whether your parents are upper middle class isn't really that relevant.

    Whether the parents have the financial resources to provide some post-graduation assistance (whether living in the parents' house or assistance with security deposits and other startup costs for living on one's own) is relevant.
  • lookingforwardlookingforward Registered User Posts: 30,060 Senior Member

    OP, normal is whatever works for your own family. Many kids do live at home, some pay some amount to their parents toward expenses. (After all, you're 22 and will be working.) Some parents can afford to help their graduates live away from home. Some can't or feel you should manage this yourself.

    Have you spoken with your parents about options? It doesn't matter that you label them upper middle class. (That makes it seem you want them to support you, but this depends on what they want or can afford. And how much they have already invested in your education.)
  • chriswchrisw Registered User Posts: 1,585 Senior Member
    Whether the parents have the financial resources to provide some post-graduation assistance (whether living in the parents' house or assistance with security deposits and other startup costs for living on one's own) is relevant.

    It is relevant to the particular case of the OP, but not to the definition of 'normal'. My guess is that a 'normal' post-graduate situation is one of the following:
    a) Graduate lives at home with parents for a few months to a few years while saving to move out of the house, either to a rented or purchased living arrangement.
    b) Graduate lives in an apartment with roommates.

    Upon moving out, I think it's relatively typical for parents to help out their now-adult children with some one-time costs (my parents bought me a bed as a "congratulations for being able to support yourself" gift, and they gave me old furniture that they had been keeping just so that I could have something when I first moved out of the house).

    I would say it is not typical for parents to materially support their adult children in any ongoing way. You may not be completely detached from your parents, but that is different from being supported by them. For example, once I got a full-time job, I paid all my expenses, but I stayed on my parents' cell phone plan for a few years so I could pay a lot less than getting my own individual plan; car insurance was the same story.

    If your parents want to go above and beyond what is typical, then there's nothing wrong with that, but that doesn't make it 'normal'.
  • maya54maya54 Registered User Posts: 1,681 Senior Member
    My neice is trying to make it as a writer/production person in the entertainment industry. . She found a low level position that is allowing her to make the connections she needs and is likely to get a promotion in the next few years. In the meantime my brother is happy to help her live in a nicer place than she could afford on her own. Whatever works for a family is fine.
  • juilletjuillet Super Moderator Posts: 12,550 Super Moderator
    First of all, most young recent college graduate start out with a lower-paying job and work their way up. It's actually the rare college grad, even from elite schools, that immediately starts with a high-paying job - and even then, that's probably because their field overall is high-paying. They're likely still low-paid for their field, and still have to work their way up to even higher-paying jobs.

    Secondly, living with your parents to establish a financial footing for a while after college is relatively normal. I think something like a quarter of recent college graduates ended up living at home with their parents for a year or more after college. Life costs a lot more than people anticipate, and entry-level jobs are often low-paying. My younger brother and sister, now 28 and 26, both lived at home for a year or two after college until they saved up enough money to pay security deposits and secured an apartment - and they live in a low cost-of-living area. My younger sister-in-law (now 26) lived at home while completing her master's degree and then for a year afterwards so she could save enough as well. And out of my close-knit group of 6 friends (ages now ranging 25 to 32), 5 of us lived at home at some point years while saving enough money to move out. (The only one who did not was me, and that's because I've been lucky, to be quite honest.)

    Now...getting an allowance from parents to support your rent and other expenses is not quite normal. But honestly, if your parents can afford that kind of outlay that may be a preferable arrangement to staying home. You get a measure of independence and freedom while still being able to afford it. If your parents can do that and are willing to, I'd take that, regardless of how uncommon it is. But make sure that you don't become long-term dependent - you should be using that period of generosity to make moves towards your own financial independence.
  • AboutTheSameAboutTheSame Registered User Posts: 2,998 Senior Member
    What @julliet said is what I would have said. D is a self-supporting grad student but needed help with the first/last/security deposit. We would have been happy to have her back home; we were happy to help her get into her apartment. If she needed us to chip in each month, we'd be happy to do it, but she has current expenses covered and is gradually paying back our advance. Every family is different. Normal is as normal does?
  • oldfortoldfort Registered User Posts: 22,312 Senior Member
    D1 had a good paying job out of college, but she also lived in one of the most expensive cities, after paying for her rent she didn't have much disposable income for entertainment or clothing. For the first year until she got her first bonus, I bought most of her work clothes and gave her monthly allowance for going out. I also paid for her to go on our family vacations because if I didn't then she wouldn't be able to go. I stopped helping her after the first few years.

    D2 is working as an intern until she goes to law school. She is living at home and paying me rent, which I will give it back to her when she goes to school. She pays for some utilities, but I pay for groceries and most of stuff around the house. When she goes shopping with me, I would pay for most things. I would also be helping her with law school.

    Even with all the perks of living at home, I can see that D2 is anxious to move out to have a place of her own. I think she wasn't planning on going back to school she wouldn't be living at home. To be honest, it was an adjustment for me when she moved back home too.
  • gardenstategalgardenstategal Registered User Posts: 4,582 Senior Member
    I knew people when I had first graduated whose parents subsidized their rent as the alternative was to live in an unsafe neighborhood or have a very long (unsafe at times) commute. I was envious as my parents were of a different mindset. None of us were from the area so had a live at home option. I think this is very much a matter of what works for you and your family and your situation. Many people I work with cover their kids' health insurance.
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