"The paradox of the overzealous editing of the college essay by many helicopter parents is that they don’t know what a college essay is really about.
It was right there in the last sentence of the first paragraph of Mikey’s college essay. I was supposed to believe this typical high school senior, who had inhabited this planet for a slight 17 years, chose to use the word ‘henceforth.’ Mikey was a good kid. He worked hard in school. He loved basketball and girls and math.
He had a certain way with words, but “henceforth” wasn’t one of his words." …
Statements like this remind me of a scene from “When Harry Met Sally” where Harry says he can always tell when the woman is faking. Yeah. Right. Some heavy handed helicopter parents will get caught, but many won’t.
"Do you like to eat the marshmallows before the milk in your Lucky Charms? A tiny but specific detail like this will probably be more vivid than an entirely forced and forgettable essay on community service.
The college essay is about the true things students want the colleges to know about them that can’t be seen via grades and standardized tests."
I find it hard to believe a college cares how you eat your overly sugared cereal over community service. And if your 17 and still picking out the marshmallows they’ll probably reject you.
And you would actually have to know Mikey personally to know he doesn’t use “henceforth” as a word.
Articles like this are what worries me about my high stats kid’s applications to selective schools. He might well honestly use the word henceforth. Even in conversation with other kids. He’s been a voracious reader since childhood. He has a mature soul. His college essays, which I’ve read and made limited comments about because I think they do show his voice, reflect a maturity of thinking about himself that I worry will not be believed by college admissions officers. And lest it sound like I’m taking any credit for him, I have two other children who do not write or have indepth thinking in a similar way. I just hope the admissions officers recognize that his essays are the real deal.
I work with non native speakers. They have trouble distinguishing ‘his’ and ‘her’ but use henceforth (because the equivalent is pretty common in their native language).
And like @“one+two” I would have used it naturally as a teen.
However “Mike” probably doesn’t fit the profile of a kid who says “henceforth” naturally (no English teacher recommendation, no teacher pointing out his verbal choices or vocabulary or way or speaking ).
My kid’s natural inclination is to use words like “henceforth” and complicated grammar in his writing. I’ve been advising him to simplify, so the essay doesn’t come across as stuffy or written by a parent.
I would think that the parent would be telling him NOT to use the word because it sounds awkward. The student wouldn’t realize the break in voice of using such a word that an adult writer would more likely notice.
“Articles like this are what worries me about my high stats kid’s applications to selective schools. He might well honestly use the word henceforth. Even in conversation with other kids. He’s been a voracious reader since childhood. He has a mature soul. His college essays, which I’ve read and made limited comments about because I think they do show his voice, reflect a maturity of thinking about himself that I worry will not be believed by college admissions officers. And lest it sound like I’m taking any credit for him, I have two other children who do not write or have indepth thinking in a similar way. I just hope the admissions officers recognize that his essays are the real deal.”
I had this worry with my oldest son, too. He was born an old soul and has definitely used the word “henceforth” in conversation. When he showed me his first draft of his essays, I thought they sounded like they were written by a constipated 67 year old who had just come in after yelling at those damn kids to get off his lawn. But… what are you gonna do? I made two comments on the essays - think one was a misspelling and one was a grammar error, but that was it. After all, if the essay is about showing who the student is as a person, his stiff, weird essay was a pretty accurate picture.
If it makes you feel any better, the colleges seemed to understand and be OK with it; he had good admissions results. So try not to worry - even the Alex P Keatons of the world find their place.
My D would and did use such words. However, her entire application package, including working as a professional writer whose work was googleable, reflected her talent and level. I bet many kids are in her situation - that their overall package shows the origin of their unique voices.
Nothing gives away “not quite ready” than applicants who use words/terms/expressions that they are less than comfortable with in essays and interviews. If you’re competing for an elite college, your admissions readers and alumni interviewers are products of an elite education and can see through the charade. A “fancy” word salad just obscures the intended meaning, like cop-speak. At best, it is awkward writing/expression. At worst, it it a sign that you just don’t know better.
“My D would and did use such words. However, her entire application package, including working as a professional writer whose work was googleable, reflected her talent and level. I bet many kids are in her situation - that their overall package shows the origin of their unique voices.”
Good point and makes a lot of sense. I could never figure out how my son talked himself into some of the things he did, like when he cold called local investment firms until one of them hired him to do quant work. Maybe they liked his use of the word “henceforth” in his calling pitch? But @zoosermom 's point is correct - the rest of his app was filled with stuff that supported the idea that this might be a kid who was entirely comfy with formal grammar so the essay didn’t stand out as being any more weird than the remainder of his app. Consistency is surely part of the key.
My kid just sent in an app with an essay that included “discoursing” in it. :)) But this is my son and he talks like that and I really hope people don’t think I told him “add some big words” because if anything, I tried to get him to take it out!
Identifying essays with too much input from helicopter parents based on certain vocabulary is just iffy. Wouldn’t it be better to REQUIRE written essays from standardized tests to accomplish that task, especially when essays play such an important role in admission? Granted, it’s not 100% accurate, but it sure beats using vocabulary.
@ucbalumnus : yes.
The point was that what seems simple and difficult to an English speaking native may not be zondoe a non native speaker and thus could create interference in the “parent detector” the adcom thinks s/he possesses.
There are real issues with essays on standardized tests. My kid did mediocre on the writing section on the ACT after getting a 36 in English and a 34 in Reading. He does have terrible hand writing. He has a glowing recommendation from his composition DE prof and he’s never recieved lower than an A in a writing class. Note that more and more schools are dropping the essay requirement. I think submitting a graded paper makes more sense. My kid actually did that for one school.
I’ve contract taught some writing classes and my senior was born a little old man and has always had over the top vocab. I still think for an intelligent reader there is a clear difference between a youthful voice shining through on a personal essay and an older voice. It’s not just about vocabulary choices. My kid’s essay was only lightly edited for clarity. It’s sophisticated in terms of structure, vocab and depth. But I think it reads as written by someone with the life experiences of a 17 year old at the same time.
My son had an extensive vocabulary from a very young age. He was mostly around adults and naturally picked it up. I wouldn’t dumb him down for sake of an essay.
There is enough research that good test scores and GPA are the best indicators of success. That you can even forget personal interviews because they don’t mean much in the long term success of an applicant for school or job.
Maybe the real problem these days is that those old gold standards are so diluted with grade inflation and nay-saying about relevance of test scores that there aren’t any real standards today.
And that the system these days seems to require a college education–whether you need it or not to do the job you’re hired to do. .
I would assume that no 17 year-old non-native English speaker would call himself “Mikey.” I hope against hope that no native English speaker would still call himself that.
Although I do, in part, agree with @MYOS1634 . From my own experience as a non-native English speaker, I have often made errors when using vocabulary and/or sentence structure that would be normal/accepted back home, but which is stilted at best and grammatically incorrect at worst in English.
From my HS days, though I have often seen many US born-and-bred students, with no input from their parents, who end up sounding like William F. Buckley (but not in a good way) in their writing.
