<p>I’m in favor of not prosecuting. It was a stupid mistake with horrible ending, and this lady has to live with it. Her husband has to live with it, too. They have some tough times ahead. I do not believe she was intentionally neglectful.</p>
<p>I’ve been in situations where I’ve done stupid things. Things that haunt me to this day. Fortunately nobody ever died! There but for the grace of God…</p>
<p>One thing I’d like to know, just out of curiousity. If the babysitter was expecting the child, how come she never called anybody to find out why she didn’t show up? If only, if only…</p>
<p>Anuddah mom–I do suspect the parents (or one of them) had something to do with Madeleine’s disappearance. Who in their right mind would leave 3 small children alone for the evening and expect to find all three of them in good shape when they came back??? I can think of several things small children might do on their own in a hotel room, involving water, hair dryers, coffeemakers, outlets, “baths”–none of them with a good outcome. The hotel did have a babysitting service which they did not use, yet the father has criticized the police for taking 10 minutes to show up.</p>
<p>I can’t put my finger on it but the publicity-seeking activities the McCanns have been doing just seem off somehow.</p>
<p>All I can say is that I read of this kind of “car-death” at least once every year, it is usually a poor/black/hispanic parent who had no $$ for the babysitter that day, could not get the day off, and the parents were punished in all those cases. There was no malice there either, just poverty and lack of education/commonsense.</p>
<p>So she should not be prosecuted as she is neither poor nor uneducated?</p>
<p>All the links I posted above are from this summer, and at least 5 of them are well educated professionals that left their kids in cars accidentally.</p>
<p>I know what you mean, mommusic. No one would wish the McCann’s nightmare on their worst enemy. But – huh. As they’ve been traveling all over Europe spreading news about poor Maddie, I don’t know, you never see the twins with them. Tell you what, those babies would be glued to my hip. </p>
<p>I have to say, sorry to non-Americans for the generalization, but in other countries parents have VERY different ways that we would consider appalling. In Scandinavia parents leave their kids in strollers outside cafes and restaurants all the time. When I had a playgroup in a former East Bloc country, mommies left the babies sleeping in carriages outside my house in sub-zero conditions. When I objected, they laughed and said ‘it’s good for them. The windows are open in their room all night at home.’ </p>
<p>One time in Austria in freezing weather, I heard a baby screaming in a car. I went and hammered on the door of the house, the mother came out and yelled at me for bothering her. I wouldn’t leave until she took the baby out of the carseat and into the house. </p>
<p>Tiny children walk to and from school toting giant bookbags all alone at all hours of day and evening in Europe, and they ride public buses and subways alone. I could never be complacent and comfortable with some of the things the little kids do over here, but then I’ve always been a headcase parent about safety.</p>
<p>The report on the Today Show this morning mentioned she changed her normal routine that morning. Instead of dropping the child off at the babysitter, she stopped to get donuts for the teachers. I can’t imagine any teacher at that school ever eating a donut again…</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s any purpose in prosecuting this woman. Nothing that could be done to punish her would ever be worse than what she will live with for the rest of her life. Prosecuting her would not be useful as a deterrent to anyone else from doing the same thing, which was accidentally leaving her child in the car. She didn’t do this intentionally, and that is the big difference between other situations which are being mentioned on this thread, e.g., a poor woman leaving her child in a care because she can’t afford daycare, or someone leaving a dog in a car. Punishment for either of those may be debatable also, but they are not a true comparison to the situation being discussed. Should every parent whose child dies accidentally be prosecuted, regardless of the manner of death? How about those whose children fall into backyard pools and drown? Or those who break free from a parent’s hand and dart out in front of a car? Sometimes an accident is just an accident. This is a tragic, horrific accident that will haunt that family and all who know them forever.</p>
<p>Good thing she remembered the donuts and juice before they got stale and warm!</p>
<p>Once, my H, who is an excellent father, left my son asleep in the carseat on a winter day in the car while he went into a cafe and got a coffee and muffin. H parked himself at a table right at the window about 20 feet from the car so he could see son sleeping.</p>
<p>He was there for only 5 minutes when a police officer (a good friend) came in to investigate whose child it was. Someone had seen the baby in the car and called the police. My H assured him he was watching every second, but the officer pointed out that he still was not with the baby and could not leave him alone in the car unattended. H finished immediately and left. </p>
<p>When H told me about it later that day, I was furious! H said he never took his eyes off of son, but I asked how he was able to buy his coffee and muffin. And what if H had keeled over with a heart attack or slipped and hit his head? Who would be watching the baby then? I asked him how he would have felt if another car slammed into ours and our car caught on fire and he was unable to save the baby?!!!</p>
<p>In the end, H agreed it was PROBABLY not a good idea, and promised to never leave any of our children alone in a vehicle again!</p>
<p>There can be no exceptions. A child left for a moment at the curb while a parent runs in to pick up another child is at peril. Carjacking occurs in the safest places, cars can roll down hills, into water, catch on fire, be hit by other vehicles, children unbuckle themselves from seats, children choke, the list goes on and on. It is NEVER safe to leave a child anywhere unattended!</p>
<p>BTW–I am a survivor of an accident of which I was too young to remember. My mother left my sister, aged 4 and me, aged 2 in the car while she went into a friend’s house. This was before car seats and belts, so we were just free in the car. The car was parked on a hill with the automatic transmission in “park”. My sister wanted to drive like mom, so she pulled at the lever and, bingo, we went careening down the hill. The car hit another car and came to a stop right away, so our trip was short-lived.</p>
<p>My SISTER got a big talking-to! Mom? She had a funny story to tell about my sister. Now that I’m a parent, I fail to see the humor.</p>
<p>how can you call this a “mistake”- this woman, and I can’t call her a mom, had done this before!!! </p>
<p>and does NO ONE ever call their sitter during the day to check on their baby? do people just usually leave their baby all day with NO contact with the care giver, the spouse, no body</p>
<p>When my Ds were little, I watched a couple of other toddlers, those moms, called just to see how it was going, and this was before everyone had cell phones</p>
<p>I can’t imagine not calling my H just to say hey, hon, hows it going, you need anything</p>
<p>Is that what happens, the parents don’t connect up with the sitter during the day at all?</p>
<p>This mom had a pattern of leaving child alone in a car, something I find so bizarre.</p>
<p>WHen my kids were little, if they fell asleep in the car, I would pull over under a shady tree, and nap or read myself, in the car if it was cool </p>
<p>And to say, well, gee, maybe her story will help and remind others, how many of these “accidents” and “forgetting” do we need to see before bells go off</p>
<p>How many of you pick up children from multiple places and get them all out of car seats to come in to get the other kid(s)?</p>
<p>Are you kidding?
If I left my daughter in the car for 5 min she would be screaming loud enough to bring the cops-
I also was a nanny when I was 23 & I woke up the baby every day to go get his sister from preschool.
There are some things you just get into the habit of when you have a kid- a stuffed diaper bag- & allow for extra time to take them in and out of their car seat.
I really can’t see someone who is so distracted by their job that they can get food, but don’t remember their baby.
If I was 10 minutes early to the babysitters- I wouldn’t have gone to get food- but sat outside and played with the baby- or if she was asleep- just stared at her-but obviously Im not a big donut fan.</p>
<p>I agree with CGM- I didn’t leave either of my kids when they were younger than 2, but if I had, I imagine I would have been calling the child care provider at least once a day to check on them- and that was before cell phones.
How can someone who is so easily distracted be a responsible administrator to children?</p>
<p>babseballmom, we have a similar story in our family. After dropping off my sister and me at elementary school, my mother parked at the top of the hill and ran into the admin building. My two unbuckled brothers, ages 5 and 4, were in the car and decided to “drive”. They disengaged the parking brake, and the car rolled backwards down the hill, across the schoolyard, and into the school. Just five minutes before that, the yard was full of kids waiting to go in. A lot of luck all around that day, as there were no injuries.</p>
<p>I wonder how many of the parents of kids at this woman’s school would want her chaperoning their kid on a field trip. If she were distracted she’d maybe only forget one or two kids…:)</p>
<p>This is the first story of its kind that I’ve read about this year. But in recent years I’ve seen this event too often and I’m sick of it. Yes, prosecute her. I would favor a suspended sentence or an alternative to incarceration. But prosecute her to deter other neglegent parents/guardians.</p>
<p>When interviewed by the police, Slaby told them that she remembered the child was in the car when she went for the donuts and that it had been her intention to go from the bakery to the babysitters. Normally, she dropped the baby off at the sitter’s and went straight to school. That suggests that the change in her routine threw her off and at some point after that she forgot that the child was still in the car. Also:</p>
<p>
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<p>Clearly, Slaby’s dangerous habit of leaving a sleeping baby in a car unattended (as she did yet again with the donut shop trip -since she stated that she knew the baby was in the car at that point) , contributed to this horrible tragedy. I’m conflicted as to additional punishment, though. I think her story is a deterrent and the woman has suffered enormously and will continue to for the rest of her life.</p>
<p>Re Maddie McCann’s disappearance in Portugal – from a practical perspective, I don’t see how the McCanns could be involved – how could they have hidden Maddie after calling the police in? Apparently the police are charging the parents based on forensic evidence found in a car rented 20 odd days after Maddie’s disappearance – how could they have moved Maddie weeks into all the news coverage??</p>
<p>A really similar story happened a year or two ago here, involving a UC-Irvine prof or asst dean who also wasn’t the parent who normally took the year-old child to daycare, but one day his wife was sick so he was supposed to. Puts kid in car seat in the back in the a.m., heads to the university and starts thinking about his day and his list of things to do and goes into the office completely forgetting that the child, who had fallen asleep, was in the back. No one notices child in car til about 3 p.m. Summer in Irvine, it was probably 120 degrees in that car and the child died. Their only child. Prosecutors did not charge dad, along the reasoning of tragic accident, already suffering the ultimate punishment…</p>
<p>I tend to agree with those who say this is class-based preferential treatment. University professor let off the legal hook, but if it had been some lower-income mom she’d probably be in jail and have her other kids taken away. </p>
<p>Obvious precaution: when someone straps a child in the back seat, put the diaper bag or other baby paraphernalia on the front seat to serve as a reminder.</p>
<p>I “drove” our family’s VW bug into a ditch when I was four, maybe that’s why I waited till I was 22 to get a driver’s license? ;)</p>
<p>I know all too well how easy it is to space out and forget thing when it’s not the usual routine. My son and my babysitter’s son both went to the same pre-school. One day I’d made arrangements to pick them both up and then go on to work. Somehow I managed to only pick up my kid. Was my face red when she asked me where her son was. Luckily he was in a safe place and the school wasn’t far away.</p>
<p>baseballmom–leaving a baby in a carseat that they can’t get out of is not the same as leaving two older kids alone in a car that they can figure out how to “drive.” </p>
<p>And if you were worried about your H having a heart attack or slipping and falling–why would you ever leave your baby alone with him? Perhaps every baby should always have two attendees in case one of them collapses. My point being that you can make yourself crazy with worry.</p>