A sheet cake can taste exactly the same as a tiered cake!
I think a lot of us have been turned off cake as a result of all the cloying and artificial grocery store sheet cakes used in schools and for various celebrations. At a point I went cake tasting for a small wedding in my town with a young woman who I hosted as a foreign student. (She married her conversation partner, met while at my house.)The differences were astounding. She finally went with cupcakes in various flavors, placed on a tier. It was lovely and they were delicious. I’d think cake would also be lost on the gluten free crowd, though a GF can be made for them.
Thanks for all the kind words regarding S and Vietnam. He had been there when teaching English in China, and for the wedding found it cheaper than Thailand where we have family. In addition, the bride’s family lives in an area of China that has direct flights to central coast Vietnam. Easy for them…a bit less for us! Now that a location has been chosen though, I am excited about the many places to explore with family in the area.
He is buying a package at a hotel. I am anxious to hear what the package includes. All of our conversations of late have focused on guest list issues. The couple were rather slow in getting this organized. The bride’s family is not especially traditional and my family is not either. Being Chinese, she saw no need for a registry, as their tradition is hong dao (red envelopes) rather than gifts. They found a few items for a small registry. The guest list is small.
One question, I had asked him to reserve a block of rooms at the hotel, but they stated he would need to guarantee a certain number and charge a sum if they were not taken. Is this common? He and the bride are at one hotel, and the rest of us are at another just down the beach, due to a massive price difference. There may be logistical issues, though taxis should be available.
We are not worrying about gluten free, vegan, vegetarian, kosher, or any other dietary restrictions when it comes to the desserts. We are having a vegetarian option as a dinner choice. There will be a fish choice, and two different meat choices as well. At least one of the appetizers will be a vegetarian.
Beyond that…it just gets too complicated. We are inviting adults only. They will need to stay away from the rolls or whatever if they are gluten free. No meat if that is their choice.
I just can’t plan around the dietary choices or restrictions of 100 people.
S1 and DIL had a variety of desserts – cupcakes (inc. gluten-free), a small cake at the top of the stack of cupcakes, fresh fruit cobblers (it was August, so family members went out and picked two days prior) and trifle (bride was English). There may have been more, but I’d have to look at the pictures to remember.
Amen, Thumper. We’ve made similar decisions regarding menu planning. Besides, I’ve never known anyone to starve at a wedding.
In our case, it’s the bride who’s gluten free, so she’s especially sensitive to the needs of others like her. I think they will offer a vegetarian entree and there will certainly be GF options among the desserts, especially the small wedding cake. I have learned to become quite a decent GF baker as a result of her needs, so she’s enriched my life in more ways than the obvious!
We are going to do Asian fusion for both appetizers and main dinner.
@great lakes mom, please warn your guests about eating uncooked vegetables in Vietnam. My Vietnamese friend had a parasite after visiting Vietnam and she suspected it was because of the uncooked vegetables. She now advises everyone to eat only cooked vegetables while there as there are a lot of dishes served with uncooked salad.
Best of luck to the upcoming wedding.
Cbreeze, thanks for the warning. I don’t know that cuisine well, but my impression is that there are a lot of raw vegetables. Was your friend eating at food stalls or in restaurants? I love food stalls, but I have a feeling the others on this particular trip will be restaurant oriented. Thinking about it, a friend with a very sensitive stomach toured Vietnam a few years back and raved about the food and how she never got sick. But it takes only one exposure.
S said there is a choice of cuisines at the hotel, Western, Chinese and Vietnamese. They are choosing Vietnamese.
There is always insurance available through Lloyd’s of London or another such insurer. May be expensive, but it is available.
I have a gift registry etiquette question. D’s car is on its last legs and what she and FSIL (who has no car) would really like and will definitely need is a new used car. They’ve been living together for a few years so they don’t particularly need “new house” stuff. Is there any acceptable way to have “new used car fund” as a gift option?
I know there is a website where you can consolidate all the items a couple wants from all different sources and it allows for “group gifts.” For expensive items, you can create a “fund” type gift where guests just make a contribution kind of thing. I think it’s called Zola.
My opinion…I think it’s tacky to ask for a particular item like a car. But there is no reason why friends can’t spread the word that the couple would prefer a cash gift they can use towards something…rather than items on a registry. Parents can suggest the same…if asked…to relatives and friends.
Maybe someone on the guest list has a used car that they would either sell cheap or gift to the couple? As a wedding present-- 30 years ago-- my parents’ next-door neighbor sold H and me a car for $300 . (Yeah, seems weird to pay for a wedding present, but it was a great deal and useful gift. H and I had just returned from volunteering overseas, and we had nothing. So in addition to sheets and towels, pots and pans, etc. we desperately needed a car. An inexpensive car. )
I’m going to a wedding on Saturday - the couple has been together since the early 1990s and have two kids in college.
Mathmom, a wonderful gift certificate for a restaurant…
Or a donation to their college fund???
I wonder why they’ve finally decided to marry @mathmom? I’m sure you’ll think of a special gift for them.
I always wonder. I slightly knew someone in college who was very good friends with one of my roommates and they also just recently got married after being a couple since freshman year. I think it’s partly a feel that you shouldn’t have to prove anything to the government or society. I know him better than her because he comes to the neighborhood association meetings. He’s sort of a smart-alec, but I like him. She’s a bit more of a serious nerd. She’s in the same department as my husband and works on cancer and the immune system. He’s an artist who used to work in the imaging lab at a med school and now has a job teaching. I’d have guessed he was the reluctant one, as he’s more unconvential, but dh says it was actually her.
We actually gave them some plates from their registry. I liked the pattern and no one else had given them any.
Yes, I know a couple who has chosen not to marry. Originally, it was until ALL people of all sexual orientations were free to marry. Now that laws have been passed in HI and elsewhere, I’m not sure why they have chosen to remain committed partners and unmarried with two kids, but it’s their choice. He’s an ACLU attorney and she works as an executive director in a nonprofit lobbying for preschool for all HI children. I find it fascinating to hear why people make the choices they do. I’m glad you found a nice gift, @mathmom. I’m sure they’ll be happy with it.