Anyone else with a spring /summer 2018 wedding find it getting “real” as the new year approaches? After a relative lull, things will be busy in early winter (mid-June wedding). Invite design (going to take some expertise here as wedding is bi-cultural and invites really count in groom’s culture) is pending, tasting and design meetings at venue, and first wedding dress fitting, all happen in next couple of months. We have done two floral meetings, the B and G have selected their cake flavors/style, sent the save the dates and determined all the vendors, as well as the rehearsal dinner logistics. Bride (DD) lives 4 hours away from us and the venue, we are two hours from the venue: some travel is involved. They are in good shape, yet I learned from all of the posts here that lots of details cluster in the last few months.
The bride’s Christmas gift from us was earrings for the wedding. It was fun to find them together. As time goes on, I am valuing the wedding planning as an opportunity for learning on all fronts. While we are hosting, it has been great to see the couple navigate family preferences, vendor contracts, logistics, each other and express their wishes gracefully. My affection for future SIL, always high, has grown as the process has unfolded. He is grounded, warm and calming. Never a bad combo.
Looking forward to hearing about everyone’s process and events. Much fun, some stress… I am always repeating the mantra: the reception is only a party, so as long as we are all having fun, it’s a success.
I am feeling the drum beat now. D1’s wedding is in Jun, 2018. I am in the midst of dress dilemma here. I have already bought a blue sequin dress that I like very much, but D1 &D2 have something else in mind for me - a more bling long dress. I showed both dresses to some girlfriends and most of them like the blue dress. I like the long dress because it is something different and the girls want me to wear something special. I will continue to look and maybe decide at the last minute.
D1 is doing the final touches now - cake, invitations, floral arrangements, asking people to do readings at the wedding.
We are on the home stretch too. We thought everything was done…but this florist thing is rocking the boat.
Left to do…finalize the invitations (FSIL’s Mom is making them…and they are beautiful). Choose menus for,the welcome meet and greet, and the day after brunch…and the food for the get ready room for the bridesmaids…and moms. And choosing the music for the ceremony.
Accomplished this week…groom and guys picked out clothes to wear. Met with officiant who is doing the marriage. Finalized food choices for the reception…but these can change if need be. Did trial hair and make up…and photos. All terrific.
Hearing how much many of you have done makes me even more concerned about my son/future DILs slow planning for their June wedding. We offered a wedding planner as a holiday gift. They still haven’t finalized that. They tried to trade it in for dance lessons. We said no. They seriously need a wedding a planner!!
Wow. You people are really ahead of the game. I thought I was doing well for D’s June wedding, but I haven’t even started on flowers or my dress.
Our spring is going to be a whilrwind. D will have Match Day in March. Then will have to find a place to live, then graduation, then her wedding two weeks later across the country. Depending on where she gets placed for residency they may not have time for a honeymoon at all. For one program, she’d have to take the midnight flight out on her wedding night to get there to start on time. In the midst of all this, I’m told I need cataract surgery, which I will try and get done soon.
As to timing of wedding efforts, I think it varies greatly by location. DD chose an in-between her and our location; just happened to be in a busy summer coastal location and more popular than we knew destination wedding small city. Lots of vendors, yet her date would book quickly. She moved fast, especially on the preferred photographer, as that was her biggest priority. Many places may not require such pro-activity. Also, there is such a thing as beautiful simplicity in a wedding. This one wound up with a fair amount of moving parts.
@TatinG- no dress hunting for me yet either…Here’s hoping.
I am going to be a MOB twice in 2018 - once in May and once Christmas weekend. The May bride casually mentioned recently that she is “not a detail person,” which is true. In light of the fact that she is “curating” every aspect of her wedding - including creating a ceremony out of the air - to be conducted by her sister - I would like to rip my face off. I know this has bad written all over it, so I’m going to start gently encouraging her to consider a professional.
Can either you or your daughter drive to the wedding location, or do you both have to fly?
I ask because inevitably, some people bring gifts to the wedding, even though this is contrary to all the principles of etiquette and common sense. Somebody has to take those gifts home with them or arrange for them to be shipped. If everyone in the immediate family is flying, you need to figure out a solution to this problem in advance.
Thanks. @Marian - it is a drive for B/G, us, bride’s brother, and the delightful in-laws who live near B/G, so we will have it covered. G’s culture often prefers cash gifts for weddings, so perhaps on-site large gifts will be minimized a bit. I see how that is worthwhile to anticipate.
I had really good luck finding dresses on the Neiman Marcus website. They run some good sales. I was suggested a color palette and I was able to search my that. I am hard to fit and I found several dresses I liked for my S’s September wedding. I took the suggestion of several good shopper friends who told me to look now for the specific color since it is a fall color.
My D got engaged on Thanksgiving. She isn’t sure what she wants but we are going to go see a venue in January that looks promising in my D’s area of the state. My D is pretty on top of certain things and she has already emailed 2 different coordinators depending on where she has the wedding. We are considering my in laws ranch but my MIL might get stressed. It just seems crazy to send $$ on a similar venue. My Inlaws live in an area that is very desirable for weddings and similar venues charge $8000 and up just for the site.
S and his fiancé are slowly moving along. I think they were getting engagement photos done today. They have been engaged for a year already. I’m hoping they send the save the date soon. As I’ve mentioned previously they aren’t worried about guests finding accommodations on a busy weekend.
I was just in a Neiman’s store looking at MOB appropriate dresses. Everything was still New Year’s Eve-ish and wintery. Blacks, silvers, gold and heavy material with sequins and beading. The manager told me that the spring collections will be in store in late January. I was told the same at Nordstrom. So I’ll wait.
If any of you live in or can get to Lord and Taylor in NYC…their whole fifth floor is the “dress floor” and has an amazing selection. I didn’t find my dress on that floor…because I needed a petite size…but I did find it there on the petite floor. Prices are always amazing at L and T. My dress was $106…honestly a deal! That was not the price on the tag. God knows how they arrived at that price!
Oh…and for fun, we went to Macy’s main store too…and they also have a TON of dresses. While I usually HATE Macy’s…I will say, their flagship store in NYC is amazingly well organized!
And take a friend! I had a great friend who encouraged me and helped me find the right dress. TBH, I’m not sure I would have done as well if I had been alone!
The more I read this thread the more I think that simplification is a good thing.
@mom60, maybe your MIL would be okay with it if you assured her that she wouldn’t have to do anything, not even clean. You could hire lawn and cleaning services for a fraction of that $8K, for example. I’ve known people who chose to hire the upscale type of port-a-potties to minimize people tromping through the house…
@Consolation - we would do our best to not have MIL have to do anything. We would bring in portable restrooms. Her feeling is that even if you try to keep people out of the house things still get broken. Or cars hit a fence while trying to park in the pasture. We will see how we like the venue we are going to see in January. My H will have a talk with his Dad to feel out how my MIL is feeling on the issue. Like you said for $8000 in site fees we can do a lot with the Inlaws place including hiring a strong wedding coordinator to take the stress off everyone. Plus this D wants a low key wedding to begin with.
If we go with the venue the prices go up May 16 considerably. How would people feel if they were invited to a wedding on Mother’s Day weekend? This locale can be windy and cool so obviously the later we go the better.
@mom60, I totally get what you mean. Some people just like things the way they like them, and basically feel invaded in that kind of situation.
I would be perfectly fine with a wedding on Mother’s Day weekend, but I know that a lot of people who have families that really do something for them on that day would not.
One thing to be aware of for Mother’s Day weekend is the cost of flowers. My friend was going to get married the first weekend in May and the quotes she got for flowers were double. She got married April 30. There were 3 weddings at her church that day and they split the church flowers (white) and left them as a donation for the church for the weekend masses.
