I’m going to tell my local friends that they can’t come, lol. I hope many other people sleep late and decide to wander around town instead.
Going to call caterers tomorrow too, just in case. Yes, we did invite everyone.
I have. It was pretty traditional in my small town and it wasn’t that big of a deal. Mostly OOT guests before they headed out. My friend’s mother did it because the wedding was in their town, and it was just breakfast food with a sheet cake. People came and went, the couple opened some of the endless gifts. Coffee, juice, beer (in Wisconsin, there is always beer).
My sister had morning after brunch for close family and the many out of towners; many were flying out that day she was surprised how many came and stayed and stayed! It was fun for me as a guest.
I feel your pain! We are at 87 for our brunch and I was hoping for a maximum of 75. What is the usual % of late cancel/no-shows?
DIL’s friend kindly invited us to hang at their house for several hours so we dont have to make the run back and forth to the airport, but I am gonna pass. It was sweet, but we will have DS’s fiancee with us and I’ll also probably have lots of things to do last minute.
@jym626 we had an 18% no show for the morning after brunch…much attributed to the after-party going until 3:30 a.m. A bit irritating, as that was about $700 down the drain…
@gosmom Ouch!! This is a Saturday morning of a holiday weekend (to the brunch after the wedding). We hade a HUGE no show for one of our s’s bar mitzvah’s b/c a large group from DH’s office didnt understand (even though they indicated they were coming to the party too) that there was a separate party at night. Many empty tables for a sit down dinner. Can you say PISSED?
We are currently at 89 (total- including us) (just got another email!!) and still have several that haven’t responded. I chased down several over the weekend but no more. The RSVP date was Saturday and if they can’t respond… well I am not chasing any more down. I cant handle that crowd anyway!! It’s an open house drop in over 3 hrs, so I hope it works. So is estimating 75 for the caterer too low? Just right? I know they do overage. Just not sure how much. The original estimate to the caterer was 75, so thats what the proposal is based on.
Annnnd… we are up to 90! Yikes!
I think the no-shows to the brunch are bigger than average. People just think of it as a buffet that doesn’t cost much. I’d underestimate and have extra bagels if that many really show up.
We aren’t doing a bagels an shmear type of brunch. This is a fun mix of pick up foods (unique mini quiches, unique cheeses and fruit board , french toast wedges in a mason jar, salmon, chicken and waffles (wil be fun!) assorted mini desserts and a big specialty cake. A lot of the finger foods may be limited in quantity. IF it was just bagels and spread I’d be less concerned.
So, up the headcount to the caterer.
It depends on your entertaining style. Would you be more upset with running out of food and knowing some guests went home hungry or leftovers and spending a little extra?
In my family’s culture if you don’t have leftovers, that means someone might not have had enough to eat and as the host/hostess we’d feel chagrined in our hosting duties.
You could also talk to the caterer about upping the stuff that would keep as leftovers - cheese, salmon, fruit - and maybe not increasing stuff that wouldn’t hold as well like waffles and french toast.
There are online calculators. But I’d guess you chose an experienced, quality caterer who knows. And for that number in a home, even a large one, I doubt they’ll be lining up, filling their plates full up, as for a sit down buffet dinner.
You can use smaller plates and still be elegant. And generous. Talk to the caterer.
You can also have “stations” at different areas of the venue so that there are different places for folks to get food and beverages. This helps keep lines shorter.
I don’t have to give the final headcount to the caterer til the weekend and we’ve had ongoing discussions about the food quantities. Was trying to stay within a general budget but that just got blown with the current headcount. I went out to buy more of the dessert plates and wine cups. I’d rather have leftovers than run out, but since I am having a lot of choices, there may be limited quantities of some things. Leftovers will be fine since we have 13 staying in the house, but I am ordering italian for the 13/14 of us (make tht 12/13 plus the baby who isn’t on solid food yet) Sat night, and the bridal shower is the next morning, so the guys can eat the leftovers.
Conveniently, DH just got a gift of a big bottle of St. Germain with the corresponding mixer bottle (and a nice champagne that’s going in the cellar) so the St Germain will go on the bar too, and it apparently mixes well with the sparkling wine.
Its still flu season, one person’s side just started chemo, and there are a few “maybe’s that I didnt include in the head count. Typically caterers prepare overage. Ill be chatting with the caterer at the end of the week and tweaking numbers.
@HImom - The food is currently planned to all be displayed on the dining room table. The chef and server will keep refreshing as necessary. The bar will be in a separate room. If the caterer wants to use the kitchen table or island, that is an option, but to be honest, I’d rather keep those open so people can sit and eat if they choose, since the # of people scheduled to come is going to stretch the limits of our space and seating.
@lookingforward - We are using luncheon plates and salad plates. The white with silver rimmed 9" luncheon sized disposables are hard to find! Lots of 10.25 dinner and 7.5 salad/dessert plates, but had to order the luncheon ones on line. Went out and bought more dessert size yesterday. If we run out, I have the dinner size ones (from Costco) and can pull them out at the end. Ditto for the plastic ware. I have the silver colored ones, but have a ton of the clear ones which I can pull out if we get low. I can’t see buying more of the silver ones with such a stash of the clear that I have if needed. Guess I could buy more and return it if we don’t use it, but right now I am inclined to use the clear if we run ;low. Don’t think anyone will care.
The server will be passing some of the bite sized stuff and it will be on the table. If we run low, he’ll stop passing them 
I will chat with the caterers at the end of the week and discuss appropriate quantities.
Has anyone had the St. Jermain/champagne drink? What’s it like?
@jym626 Your brunch plans sound lovely. I’ve had the St. Germain with Prosecco served with a splash of club soda and berries. Delicious light cocktail for a brunch.
Apologies for typo— St Germain. The gift box came with champagne gummy bears for the drinks!! Berries sounds much more desirable.
I have a question about using fake flowers vs. real flowers for a wedding.
Hello to All, I have been reading this thread for awhile now, trying to find great tips on low cost weddings. I have a D with a possible wedding in sight, unknown date, but when it happens it will most likely be a shorter engagement. We have no funds for a traditional wedding (COLLEGE took it all !!) but want to plan a “homegrown” relaxed wedding as best we can.
My D has not wanted to talk wedding stuff, as she doesn’t want to get ahead of her relationship. That is smart thinking on her part. We did talk briefly, and she mentioned wanting to use fake flowers, so she could put together bouquets way ahead of time. She wants to eliminate as many last minute projects as possible, so she can relax the day before her wedding and focus on spending time with friends and family.
My thinking is that fake flowers can be more expensive than the lower cost options of Costco, grocery stores, farmers markets. etc. Is that the case? D says she still wants to try to use fake, to lower the stress level.
I would appreciate any thoughts you have on fake vs. real, and on sources for nicer quality fake flowers without having to pay retail prices.
Silk/fake flowers can vary greatly price and quality. Ross and similar discount stores carry some–you can look at them for some idea of cost and what you think of them. Craft stores like Ben Franklin, Michaels, Jo Ann’s, and similar also have silk flowers. Sam’s, Costco, and local florists have a huge array of fresh flowers at a wide variety of prices.
If your D doesn’t walk to talk about wedding stuff, please don’t talk about it with her, as it will make her uncomfortable and feel pressured. I have seen (and performed) many very nice wedding at parks and on beaches and other venues–low key, romantic, inexpensive and just as married as a huge elaborate and expensive celebration. There can be no wedding attendants other than the bride and groom, if desired. Weddings don’t have to make the huge wedding industry richer, really they don’t.
My daughter’s friend made hers out of paper and they were very pretty.