@thumper1 …my D had 4 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen.
My S was a groomsman, but walked me down aisle and then proceeded to front. On the recessional, one of the bridesmaids had two groomsmen escort her out.
It was fine…
Great ideas @gosmom !
@scout59 , I am so sorry for your loss. I know your daughter’s wedding day will be bittersweet as you face it without your mother there.
We may be facing a similar situation, as my FIL just entered hospice care. Neither he nor my MIL were planning to make the trek to my D’s August wedding, but knowing he may not be around at all does make it a challenge to be completely joyful about the wedding. It must be doubly difficult when it is your own mother. 
My D also had one bridesmaid who had to back out due to giving birth 2 months early. I don’t even remember how the attendants exited, but think it was like what @gosmom describes. No one thought a thing about it.
Those are great ideas.it will work out fine.
So thoughts on this, folks…
Apparently the party planner is still negotiating with the hotel about some arrangements for Sunday Brunch. The invitations/inserts do not mention anything about Sunday, and the online RSVP’s don’t seem to either on the website, but DS said there was supposed to be an option on the website so he can try to fix that. It was suggested that they make sure to put somewhere prominently on their website about Sunday brunch when they finalize it since at present guests do not know (and no, breakfast isn’t included at this hotel). I thought perhaps an evite or paperless post might be helpful, but telling people to RSVP on the website. Not sure if there is a better way to make people aware so they can get a headcount. Thoughts?
@jym626 - are people supposed to RSVP on the website or is it a paper RSVP? If everything is on the website then I would just add the brunch event on the website, so when people get on the site they would see the brunch. It is also fine to send an email out to everyone to let them there is a brunch on Sun and remind them to RSVP
Today was D1’s first dress fitting. The dress was very tight around her butt, but they assured her they could let enough out to make it comfortable. She looked beautiful. It was the first time her dad saw the address.
I asked D1 about the wristband for jym26’s party. She said that’s what she would have done or just tie a little ribbon on people’s wrist.
Oh it must have been such a special moment to see our DD in her wedding dress, @oldfort !
Thanks for running the wristband by her. The party will be very informal, so hopefully the wristbands will be fine. DS has dropped is, so I have as well.
The RSVP’s for the wedding and the Friday nite party are on line. The Brunch RSVP was supposed to be there but it wasn’t DS. will have to look into that. I’ll look at their wedding site again to see if it says anything more about Sunday, but don’t think so, yet.
Agree…you can send an email about the brunch…and ask for an RSVP.
I just did that…because most folks didn’t respond about that (insert asked for email to me about that).
I also asked DD to change the wording on the website…something like…our Morning After breakfast will be from 9-11 at the hotel. For those with earlier departure needs, the hotel will have their continental breakfast beginning at 6:30 a.m.
We are having a full breakfast…figured folks who are traveling deserve a decent meal before they hit the road. Plus…I love breakfast!
Anyone have songs to suggest for the father daughter dance? Has to be something easy enough for DH to dance to!
A wedding we are attending the beginning of June, had a very detailed website. My daughter is a bridemaid, so I asked if there was anything Friday night as there was nothing mentioned on the website or included with the formal invitation which arrived on Monday. I just went to their website to see if they had added their registry, and low and behold, under events is a welcome party for drinks Friday night! My daughter had no idea the couple was doing this, so she was as surprised as I was! I will make dinner reservation for my husband and I, plus my daughter and SIL. If they have bridal party commitments, I can change the reservation numbers as the welcome party is late and just drinks.
@jym626 I think if your son adds it to the website, many will see it, others will not. Hopefully you will inform your crowd and the inlaws will do the same. Many our children’s ages are clueless about how to plan large events and prefer to go with the flow, even it it causes stress on their parents who know better 
My daughter was an excellent planner, my DIL, not so much!
I seem to remember that the dance guy said the waltz or boxstep was easiest, so pick a song with the tempo that works for those dances.
I just noticed that The Knot is affiliated with Paperless post. Didn’t know that. I am not sure I have all the emails for the people on our invite list. Would have to look into that…
DH can do the foxtrot, and rhumba…both box step variations…and the waltz.
But he needs a song.
Anything with a 4/4 beat would be good. Rhumba is easier than foxtrot for him.
I have to vent–hope this is the right place. Is anyone else on the hook for the entire wedding and rehearsal dinner because the groom’s family just doesn’t want to take on the customary responsibility of the rehearsal dinner? It’s not a question of finances, and even if it were, I could imagine saying, “we’re not able to contribute substantially, but we can contribute something toward the dinner, help you find a venue, etc.”
But they seem content to let us shoulder the whole thing, from planning to paying. I sense that the groom is treated as a second class citizen in his family (lots of clues, too long to get into here). He’s the youngest of four, so maybe they’re just done with weddings.
Don’t really know if I’m looking for advice, but I am seriously annoyed! I don’t want this to color my thinking, but I’m starting to feel a little resentful. Also stressing about how to manage the rehearsal dinner.
@Massmomm…Yes, annoying, frustrating, not fair, etc. But on the flip side, no pay, no say. Sometimes, just easier to not have to consult too many. I’d plan something within your budget, and what works for your D & FSIL. (Sounds like he can’t help his parents actions).
And I’d make sure that rehearsal dinner invites have your name on as hosts. (And the catty side of me might urge your D & FSIL to profusely thank your H and you that night for hosting such a lovely RD.)
Similar situation- paying for all (wedding and Friday night) but its not because they won’t-- they bride’s mom can’t and the dad… well I am not allowed to say here what he is.
So sorry you are being stiffed, @Massmomm. A relative of DH’s son married into a very religious family. The whole community was invited. Bride’s family asked the groom’s dad to pay and they’d settle up at the wedding. You can imagine how this story ends.
Sorry @thumper1 I have no suggestions for fa/dau dance music. The song I’d found for DS#1’s wedding for mo/son was summarily rejected.
Or grooms family is doing a nice rehearsal dinner. It is for the wedding party and their significant others (some won’t be here for it), immediate family and a couple of relatives who happen to be arriving two days before the is NOT for the whole guest list. It’s going to be very casual, and nice.
@Massmomm when we were doing the wedding planning, our daughter discussed this with her fiancé…and he talked to his parents about it. We were pretty clear that we weren’t planning on throwing a rehearsal dinner…and a meet and greet, and a wedding…and a brunch.
Having said all that, if they hadn’t offered, we probably would have done a picnic cookout thing. We have a beautiful lake club at the end of our road, and it would have been just fine. And easy.
So…just limit the guest list for the rehearsal dinner…and do something not complicated. Heck…you could order out pizzas and salad and I bet folks would be happy.
@Massmomm - has anyone (FSIL) spoken to them? It seems to me that if one is contributing to or fully hosting events in honor of adults, they should be completely settled with both the amount of money and time required. If you don’t want to do the whole thing, sort out your comfort zone and leave it to the bride and groom to figure out the rest, with or without the in-laws. Or sort out 2 overall simpler events if you prefer.
I don’t mean this in a cold way, just think that given the complexities and duration of wedding planning, it is better to be clean and clear with everything. Simmering resentment is the foe of enjoying the process. The earlier you are sorted the better. Good luck! We are hosting both ourselves; so I understand the advantages of owning what you choose, whatever it is.
@Massmomm What have FSIL’s family actually said about financial involvement? Have you asked outright?
Remember that a rehearsal dinner isn’t mandatory. It can also be very casual and still fun.
@thumper1 - for father-daughter dance,
I have seen songs focused on the daughter-father relationship (My Girl), songs emphasizing the daughter’s gratitude to father (Wind Beneath My Wings), songs focused on the bride (Isn’t She Lovely), and a favorite song between them, not directly related to a father daughter relationship.I am big fan of Wonderful World. Perhaps the two of them can sort it out together; good that your DH can dance a bit.
No idea what DD has in mind; at one point she mentioned Joni Mitchell’s Circle Game. I listened to it anew: maybe hard to dance to, not quite up tempo enough and for this MOB, a tear jerker. Fingers crossed that they sort it out.