Don’t feel horrible. You’re not late yet. If you give guests a timeframe, expect them to use it, IMO. If one doesn’t respond, that’s a whole other story.
@rebeccar you can set up a fedex account and sign online for things. Or your FH can. Or ask that it be delivered to a nearly box, like at a supermarket.
Another question…we are inviting our officiant to the rehearsal dinner, and to the cocktail hour following the ceremony. Someone suggested we invite him to the reception. We weren’t planning that…but I can’t seem to find anything that tells what to do…or not do.
Also someone suggested we invite his wife to the rehearsal dinner and wedding also.
What are you all doing…or have done already?
Don’t fret. To be honest, I think the less time the folks have those response cards…the better. I think I gave them TOO long.
D and her fiance invited the officiant (and her husband) to the rehearsal dinner and to the reception, including the cocktail hour before dinner. The officiant graciously declined, but still - my mother (the etiquette dictator) always told me that was required.
That’s what we did. I have a good friend who is a minister. She said that she is usually invited to both the rehearsal dinner and the reception, although that could be regional or denomination-specific
My D had a very high rate of nos also. She invited exactly the number she wanted to attend and wouldn’t listen when we tried to tell her that not everyone can come. Since my entire family declined, she’s having slightly fewer people than planned, and the wedding will skew heavily toward the groom’s side. As far as late responses, at least my family isn’t quilty of that! They have already declined my other D’s wedding at the end of December, and for which even the save the dates have not yet gone out.
Before my D decided to leave God out of the ceremony, we were definitely planning to invite the pastor and his fiancée to the reception. The other D, who has decided to include God, will absolutely invite the pastor, his wife, and my future son-in-law’s priest to the reception. I always thought that was what was expected, but in my family/religious tradition, the pastor is always close to the family.
I’ve always thought it was pretty much required to invite the officiant to the reception (if on the same day as the wedding, anyway). Not that much is “required” any more. And probably not at a courthouse wedding. My wedding (and D1’s) we invited the officiant and his wife.
Oh great…and what table do I seat this officiant at?
I’m inclined not to invite to the reception…but yes to the cocktail hour.
Thumper, it’s been my experience that unless the officiant is close to the family, and even then, they often decline to attend the reception, but will stop into the cocktail hour for a minute to offer best wishes. I’ve always thought it was a dance of formality where the invitation was politely extended and then just as politely declined.
@zoosermom, we also will have a reception with more folks from the “other” side. The latest for us is two cousins that can’t make it because she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer & has started treatment. We have sick relatives, old relatives (when did I get so dang old??) and dead relatives. All the no’s are understandable, but we are still sad.
D invited the pastor to the reception (he has another rehearsal after hers, so he isn’t invited to the rehearsal dinner). He & his wife are coming. D also invited the organist, because they were very close throughout the years D was attending our church. The organist & her partner are also coming. She recently left to work at another church, and I don’t think there is any animosity between her & the pastor - but they are sitting at the same table, so if there is, they have to pull out that Christian love & deal with it. 
H & I did not invite the priest who married us to our reception. I have always had a fear of priests going back to the days my great aunt was the housekeeper in the rectory at my family’s parish - the place scared me, and I have never quite been able to interact with priests in a regular-people situation. H’s parents’ minister, who did not participate in the ceremony, was invited, though - he did the blessing at the reception.
DD hired an officiant for her wedding, doing the interviewing with her fiance by phone. Our rehearsal dinner is hours after the rehearsal, there is no prior connection with the officiant and as for the wedding, I find it hard to believe that even at a lovely venue, they would choose to remain for the cocktail hour and reception. I agree that apart from known individuals, the officiant invite is truly a courtesy, likely to be declined. If I were an officiant, the invite to a cocktail hour might appeal; just for the chance to speak briefly and informally with the couple/family, yet not be locked into a time frame. I haven’t asked DD what their thoughts are about this yet.
As an officiant, have only been invited to 2 receptions and only accepted one of the invitations (where I knew most of the guests)! We invited our officiant but he graciously declined. My sibs invited their officiant and sometimes he’d accept and other times he’d decline.
Our kids’ rehearsal was the day before the wedding in the afternoon and rather than a rehearsal, it was really just a walk-through with the chaplain, bride, groom and us. So, she was not invited to the rehearsal dinner, but she and her partner were invited to the reception (which they attended), especially since her partner was a friend of the bride’s mother.
RSVP deadline. Most are in. A very few are pending, one for health reasons and some for job issues that will shake out in next few days. DD and groom wanted a relatively small wedding, considering groom’s family size and his family’s big wedding culture. We cut like crazy (though we are hosting) to honor couple’s preference. Groom’s side did not cut. The disparity will be conspicuous on the day of: for now, some are feeling too many limits. Oh, well. It is going to be lovely and is coming in close to the original goal number the kids wanted. That makes us happy.
For us, it has been important to stir into home stretch planning not only venue requirements for a head count, but also what work we need to do between now and event. Escort cards, programs, and table assignments, as well as coordinating a dozen vendors, is not something to juggle at the last minute. Printing and facilitating with wedding coordinator all require time and input. Limbo is the enemy of putting logistics to bed and being able to exhale before the event. Here’s hoping. (And yes, last minute things will, of course, come up. DD’s beloved matron of honor will be close to 8 months pregnant and needing to travel 2000 miles for the wedding. All fingers and toes crossed.)
Got a dress! Macy’s was having a sale today, too, so got $50 off. D wants MOB & MOG in not-long dresses. This is actually very comfortable — the dress itself is a bit stretchy. Link isn’t from Macy’s, but this is the dress.
Very nice @intparent …so…shoes??
We have about only 10 more RSVPs to get before Tuesday…
I’m going to do all of the seating charts that I can do this week. Then just do those last couple of tables…
Very elegant, @intparent. Congrats on getting that MOB milestone accomplished!
Lol — shoes, purse, jewelry — next steps. Probably silver. But I have lots of time, wedding is Sept. 29.
Attended an event last night and wore the shoes I purchased for DS’s upcoming wedding. They were pretty comfortable for the 4- 4.5 hrs I wore them, so I am thinking they will be fine for the wedding. Whew.
Ok…here is your laugh of the day.
My MIL needs a place near the wedding venue to board her dog…because god forbid the dog stays at her regular kennel 6 hour drive away.
So…how many of the rest of you have been asked for kennel recommendations near the wedding venue??
You win the prize, @thumper1! That’s one I have not heard of before and I wonder why she didn’t just google kennels or call the venue for a recommendation. I mean, surely you have other things to do right now…like those seating charts you mentioned above!
@intparent, lovely dress. Doesn’t it feel wonderful to check that box!