Our venue planner was also the DOC…and she was awesome. She made sure everything happened before, during…and even after the wedding. She was included with our venue.
@lookingforward If your daughter doesn’t trust the DOC now, why not make a change if she can? Who wants to deal with someone they don’t trust on their big day and add another layer of possible stress?
@doschicos she decided not to obsess, to look around. Shes got 18 months.
I wish this were easier. She’s saying her friends didnt have one, but maybe they had what thumper did. I’d like to clarify more with rh the venue.
I can understand why some choose to use a DOC if they can afford it, especially with a larger wedding, but I do think it is still the exception and not the norm for most people. I would imagine most of us did just fine without one for our own weddings as this seems to be a fairly recent practice.
Our planner orchestrated the whole ceremony - when/how people were going to walk down the aisle.
She was there for all the vendors set up - tables/chairs, flowers, DJ. She placed all seating cards based on our chart.
Picture taking - made sure people showed where they were supposed to. Worked with the videographer and photographer for the first look, private pictures with parents.
She made sure there was food/drinks for the bridal party when they were getting ready.
She and her crew moved bridal party’s stuff from the ceremony to the reception.
She ran the whole reception - from the first dance to the toast, speeches, cake cutting, etc.
She was at the rehearsal, welcome party and the brunch. By then she was like a family.
We worked with with for 1.5 yrs. By the time wedding came around she knew all of us pretty well. She found the venue for us and recommended all the vendors we used. She actually saved us a lot of money with some of those vendors. BTW - I think those vendors did a better job and gave us better pricing because they wanted to make sure they stayed on the good side of our planner for future business.
I looked at our planner packages. The day of package starts a week prior for her to check out all contracts. It includes the wedding rehearsal and unlimited coverage on the day of.
I am the wedding planner. Here in Podunk, it would be the source of much whispering to have a “stranger from outside” be paid to do what your aunts/moms/nanas are in line to do.
That being said, the reception venue assigned us a coordinator, and it is wonderful. S &FDIL are having a small wedding so that makes it a bit less of an issue.
MoB is on track to show up the day of, because she doesn’t like our hotels. Wants the bride to be her hairdresser before the ceremony!
@greenbutton Just wow re MoB and her hair. A friend’s daughter almost didn’t get her hair done on her own wedding day because FoB monopolized the hairdresser to work on a complicated braid for his more-than-foot-long hair. Then he didn’t like the way it turned out and asked her to redo it. MoB ended his beauty session right there.
I urge caution with wedding day-of coordinators. When I was MoG, the MoB and bride had a day-of venue coordinator, a team of 2 day-of independent coordinators, and 2 photographers who wanted to direct the day (goal apparently was 1500 photos). Early in the week of the wedding we were emailed a 6 page small font directions document for the day. I was to be at the venue from 8 AM until wedding at 5 PM to be available for hair and make-up. My husband (groom’s father) wasn’t mentioned at all. I am a quiet well mannered cooperative person, but throughout the whole wedding and more than the first half reception I was “staged and supervised” to be here, be there. I felt treated like an unruly middle schooler in a school pageant. I was not allowed to greet guests before the wedding outside as is our tradition. I missed the lunch we had planned with our out of town siblings who had come. We waited sequestered,almost an hour during the cocktail hour, as ordered by coordinator and photographer while the wedding party and bride’s family were photographed, so we would be queued up for some photos. I missed the cake cutting due to being staged for a dance. Our friends could tell what was happening and reacted with amusement and empathy. Over a year later I still feel bad about being corralled away from guests and reception activities multiple times, and don’t have as good memories of the day as I had hoped I would. We had contributed
$ xx,xxx to the wedding and reception, were there from out of town and paid the expenses of our family members, and put on a large rehearsal dinner (without a coordinator). I have multiple daughters and expect to be a MoB but probably will not hire day of coordinators, but if I do, just a single venue OR single independent one, and ask for them just to deal with contractors. I think things would have gone fine (better in some ways) without them, and things have gone fine without them for friends’ weddings we have attended.
Sometimes, I think more effort can be made trying for “perfection” and the ideal photo ops over just enjoying and living in the moment and one’s guests.
Father–daughter dance. DH doesn’t want anything mushy/traditional (Sunrise Sunset, Daddy’s Little Girl) but something upbeat/happy. It has to be something the guy with 2 left feet can get through. Suggestions?
Just caught the tail end of a news report that a basketball player bought his mom a house! Nice son!
@daylily1 our father daughter dance was to My Girl by the Temptations. It’s the right pace, not mushy, and a great classic.
And my husband has two left feet…although we did take ballroom dance lessons before the wedding.
D chose Tom Petty’s Wildflowers. H is not a dancer - the song allowed them to have a fun few minutes on the dance floor without feeling like they should have taken ballroom dance lessons in advance.
oops- post #8170 was meant for true mother’s day thread.
D1 found a great Day Of gal. Totally upfront and professional. I was starting to see the simplicity of her wedding, but D1 said, “I don’t want to be running to the reception room to place things or double check.” Right!
D’s father-daughter dance was also “My Girl.” Very danceable (even for a klutz like my H - and I can say this because i’m a klutz too.)
Plus, we live in metro Detroit - so we loved the Motown reference.
D’s father-daughter dance was also Tom Petty’s Wildflowers. Easy for non-dancers and referenced our love of nature and the ocean.
@scout59 , where was the reception? D’s was in downtown Detroit.
@kelsmom -it was held in MN where D and SIL now live. That’s one reason why the Motown shout-out was so welcome!
Ok, a scheduling question. D1 was thinking a 430 ceremony, 30 minutes. Then an hour cocktail reception, followed by dinner and etc. Now she realized sunset on that Nov day is 430, would like sunset pictures.
How does it work? She’d spend 330 to 400 with guests then leave for pix? Or miss cocktail hour for the group pix before sunset? Any timing suggestions will help.