When Birdy Grey was mentioned before, I sent her a link. The reviews i saw are good. The convertible dresses look great. Yes, she’d have same fabric and color.
But she’s not even up to dress shopping yet.
Pretty dresses, but not a single one has sleeves!
Only D and I went dress shopping. Less people for her, and she knows I know what looks good on her. We went to 4 bridal stores. We invited MOG to come when the dress arrived at the shop.
D chose 10 dresses from Azazie for the bridesmaids to choose from, all in the same color. All found something that was flattering, and they range from 5’3 to 6’, sizes 6-16.
My D thought about choosing different dresses but she is too OCD and did not want that look. She went with two bridesmaids and I and they took great care to choose dresses that would be flattering. Most would look fine in anything. I am finding that I am more liberal than her. and I have to respect that. As I said they are on the young side and this is their first rodeo
We had the food tasting today. My D and her fiancé My H and I and grooms parents. We had fun and the food was excellent. We all agreed on everything. We also planned some logistics.
I still haven’t gotten a dress. I just dread it. Spanx will be my friend.
Looking forward to hearing about the engagement and the recent wedding!
Update from here, with wedding planned for January 2020.
We are flying to the Deep South this weekend for the Engagement Party hosted by the Groom’s parents. (I need to think of a gift for them, probably flowers).
Engagement Party: I’ve gone through a wave of concern and the groom’s parents made a big deal about scheduling it to fit MOH D2’s college schedule — and then they didn’t include her name on our invitation nor send her her own. (Please don’t let this contingent be loosey-goosey about invitation etiquette!) They also mailed the invitation without showing it to the bride and groom in advance — the couple both work in social media and design. Yes, they were surprised they didn’t get to see it first.
We’ve had waves of angst over the guest list (too large, to small, what’s fair?) and the save the dates are about to be sent. (We would like to leave off DH’s brother, wife, and daughter as they have been downright rude to our daughters. We’re not sure what caused the rift, only that it came with his new wife! So, we’ll send the invitation and hope they won’t be able to make a January date!)
On the Save the Dates, we are asking to be notified of any who know they won’t be able to make it. Once we get some of those, we’ll reassess the list.
Bridal gown, check! Ordered in February.
Bridesmaids dresses, selected and all measurements are due by 5/31.
Venue: our great hotel representative has left and we are waiting for a replacement to be named,
MOB dress: I look a lot online which means there are “recommendations” on my facebook feed every day. I’m going to try some on a Lord & Taylor soon to see if there are particular styles that look better than others.
Favors: the keys have been delivered. We are also planning to do Italian Wedding Cookies with confetti/almonds in decorative bags. One friend has said she would like to make all the cookies!
Shower: there may not be one. Since the Bride and Groom live out west, and the wedding will be in the DC area, time is limited. They are planning to come back for a final round at Thanksgiving, but there won’t be enough family and friends here. (I’m also of the school that immediate family doesn’t plan the shower). Her main Aunt/Godmother is in the San Fran area. They are in their late 20s and really are well equipped at home. So, it may just be wedding gifts!
Off to work… best wishes to all for a good Memorial Day Weekend.
“the groom’s parents made a big deal about scheduling it to fit MOH D2’s college schedule — and then they didn’t include her name on our invitation nor send her her own.”
I’m confused. Why would the groom’s parents (who are presumably hosting) put the MOH’s name on the engagement party invite? But, yes, they should send her an invite.
I think she meant on the envelope of bride’s parents, not the actual printed invitation. Appears MOH did not get invited…
Oh. That makes sense. 
I’d chalk it up to an accidental oversight.
Yes, I would, too.
Thanks all, yep accident oversight. Certainly they want her there.
We’re ready for the big weekend. I hope they have name tags. I’m much better at remembering names when I can see the spelling and make an association!
So exciting reading the new wedding plans here.
Hard to believe that last year…we were one week out from our wedding. It’s almost first anniversary. Hope the top layer of the cake tastes good!
okay, so the MOB and my FDIL have devolved into not speaking to each other, and both of them have spoken to me (about the not speaking to each other…) I’m avoiding making anything worse, I think, so far. The MOB is guilty of starting the whole thing and I tried to gently say that we have been most successful in letting our own kids/nephews/nieces have lots of space as they become adults, but MOB is still calling the couple about 30 times a day, most every day. I couldn’t believe it either until my son showed me his call log. They have always had a somewhat combative relationship and of course weddings don’t make things better, usually.
It seems to be getting worse as the wedding approaches; FDIL and I are concerned MOB will have a tantrum at the wedding itself. Strategies for coping with that? I can’t believe she would do that but then again, I am having a hard time understanding the whole approach of constantly creating a crisis over everything. I think we are good footing to be thinking about it now, and hoping it doesn’t happen. Yeesh. Here I thought I would wear beige and sit quietly!
@greenbutton My advice is to stay out of it. This is mother/daughter stuff and blood. They’ve had and will have a relationship for a long time, well beyond the wedding. Don’t get in the middle.
“FDIL and I are concerned MOB will have a tantrum at the wedding itself.”
I wouldn’t even get into these convos with FDIL. If she needs to vent, she can do it to your son.
@greenbutton, I’m pretty sure you already know this…
Letting them vent is fine, but don’t make negative comments to one or the other about the other. That can get tricky really quickly.
haha, yes I know that. But MOB is calling me to say stuff like she has no idea what the dress looks like and she’s sure that’s a sign her daughter is mentally ill. We ate lunch together and MOB sent all of her foodback, twice, and then argued about the bill. FDIL has shown MOB the dress, MOB pronounced it slutty and called me to ask if our church would allow that. (I said I was sure such a smart, talented daughter would choose something lovely and appropriate). It was after that, that FDIL stopped showing MOB dress in-progress photos.
FDIL mostly wants assurance that someone can corral her mom. So I say bland things like I’m sure it will all be fine. But when MOB says FDiL needs to lose weight or my son will leave her at the altar, I’m speechless. You don’t want to validate that! And before anyone jumps to conclusions, MOB is a university professor.
FSIL’s mother is apparently more than a handful (not sure, but think there’s a diagnosis in there.) Fortunately, there’s a step mom who’ll be the more responsible person. But FSIL plans to ask his brothers to keep an eye on the mom. The brothers will sit with her, at a separate table (enough family that we need two tables, anyway.)
At another family event, we had a young friend keep any eye on my mother, in case she needed a bathroom break or whatever.
Wow guys good luck - and I’m carefully taking notes because we’re behind you all in the process!!
I have a question: I saw some earrings that I really would like to get for FDIL as a present. Is it appropriate for me to buy them for her as an engagement present or “just because” present from me? I didn’t get anything for my son, but he’s not the type to notice/complain about something like that. Do I have to wait until the wedding? I don’t have any daughters, and I also don’t really know how a young woman in her early twenties these days might feel about this, like is it too intrusive. (The earrings are really pretty, sapphires if relevant.) She won’t have another birthday between now and the wedding.
My daughter would have loved something like that.
So would mine. She would treasure it. And it can just be “I saw these and thought of you”
@fretfulmother, I think that would be a lovely gesture, a no occasion gift.
Say something like, ‘I saw these and thought of you. They could fulfill ‘something new, and something blue’ if you wear them for the wedding.’
But then don’t be discouraged if she has something else in mind - maybe a family heirloom.