What’s the typical timeline for Save the Date cards? And invites? We just got a Save the Date card for a wedding in early December (less than three months to go).
My FDIL is mailing the “Save the Date” cards this weekend - wedding is in 6 months. She said the response date for the wedding will be 4 weeks prior so I suspect the invitations will go out around January 1 for a March 21 wedding.
@zeebamom, congratulations on your D’s engagement! Welcome!
Save the Date cards can be sent out whenever. We sent ours out nine months before the wedding because it was a holiday weekend. We received one in early August for an August 2020 wedding because the location is a popular vacation spot, and hotel reservations needed to be made. We also just got another Save the Date for a wedding June 2020.
Three months before the wedding seems a little close to when the actual invitations are going to be sent. But oh well!
A few years ago, I received a save the date/invitation card 4-6 months before. The card directed to the wedding website where RSVPs were collected.
Might that be what you got, @arisamp ?
Well, tonight at rehearsal the MOB found out the intent was for her to meet her daughter at the end of the aisle (mom is disabled, and likes to make a spectacle of herself) so she yelled at the pastor, FDIL retreats to the ladies room w her MOH, she calls my son a liar, and then LEAVES as part of an empty threat to not attend if she can’t walk the whole way.
S and MOH broker a compromise where MOB will walk FDIL partway down the aisle. She feels victorious, but her daughter will never forgive her for this. I cleaned up FDIL in the bathroom, DH gave her a big long hug, and we told her we will do our level best to make tomorrow incident free.
@greenbutton you will be there to help make this a beautiful wedding day.
Frankly, you are kinder than I would have been. I would have called her bluff.
Oh honey, I didn’t know what was going on at the time, or I would have thrown her my own car keys and paid for the gas 
What a horrible MOB. I wonder what she would have done if they had said “while we would love to have you attend we understand if you feel you can’t be here”. The MOB is a bully. She is lucky they are even inviting her.
Wishing them a happy life and beautiful wedding day.
@greenbutton I’m sure your FDIL (and your S) are ever and forever grateful to you for being the glue to hold things together. I hope that you and your H are able to enjoy all the wedding festivities and not feel like you’re babysitting the MOB’s fuse.
I think Save the Dates are only worthwhile if sent out >6 months before the wedding.
I think how early save the dates go out is very individual to each wedding. Earlier if high tourist season or some specific event that will drive up occupancy in wedding location. We got one super early for nephew because there was a pro golf tournament In the area the same weekend. Good job for someone after date is set to check pro/college sporting events, festivals, move in, graduation dates etc . A,so depends on locations since small town may only have a couple of choice while large city offer lots of reasonably priced accommodations even at last minute.
Our daughter sent her Save the Date in August for a June 2020 date. She had already told everyone verbally, so this was just a formality. Wedding will require Americans to travel to Europe, so some planning ahead is needed.
I personally think 6 mo is plenty early, but D1 has her own ideas.
In my day, the etiquette suggestion was to mail invitations “6 weeks ahead, to arrive not later than 5 weeks before.”
It kinda seems nowadays the couple wants every single invitee to be there. And telling even family and close friends verbally isn’t enough.
@lookingforward, I agree and remember that suggest from planning my own wedding 37 years ago. While D and FDIL are sending them out 6 months in advance of the wedding (like, now), I suspect the invitations will go out more like 8-10 weeks in advance since the hotel block expires a month before the wedding. I find it weird that hotel reservations are driving the timeline but since the venue (hotel on-site) requires us to guarantee 80% of rooms blocked (an issue I am actively negotiating) I want people to have the information as soon as possible.
@greenbutton, hope yesterday was smooth sailing all the way with no unexpected “waves!”
Interesting about the room block issues, @runnersmom. But we’re 13 months out.
In our case, few guests need to stay overnight. FSIL’s family may get a vrbo for all of them.
I think the room block issue varies by venue. We reserved a certain number of rooms, and actually added to the original number. Our hotel did not require us to guarantee payment for any of these rooms at all…but they held the block only until 30 days before the wedding.
So…our guests were given this info in the save the date, and it was also clearly stated on the wedding website.
Oh my, @greenbutton! So glad you were there to help FDIL (maybe as of now… your DIL!) Can’t wait to hear how all went!
Congrats, Zeebamom!! Welcome!
At both DS’s weddings, we were severely outnumbered by the brides’ families. Actually it was moreno at DS#1’s wedding. At DS#2s wedding it was largely the B&G’s friends and work colleagues. Not a huge turnout from family/friends on either our or bride’s family’s side. But it was wonderful. You are the parents of the groom and will love it all, especially to see everyone happy.
Busses were great, and greatly appreciated at the weddings (except when they forgot to show up on Sunday for one of them! Ugh.
Room blocks were fine for second wedding, a problem for first b/c it happened to be graduation weekend of a nearby college!
6 mos out for savethe date is fine, IMO. Congrats!
@thumper1, for S1’s wedding we did not have to guarantee the block, either, and while I understand that it’s commonplace for some venues (like hotels in small areas over holiday, big game, or graduation weekends), this venue is primarily a conference/event venue and I suspect they do not sell that many unaffiliated rooms on a random March weekend. My other issue is that their corporate affiliation and loyalty program is offering the same rooms for the same weekend with additional perks for the same rate. I will put on my lawyer hat and attempt to negotiate this coming week. Reality is, we’ve signed the contract for the venue and people will stay there, whether we have a room block or not. And, given what we know about our guests and families, we’ll sell out the block and beyond…I just don’t want us (both families) to be on the hook if people decide to book outside the block because they can get a better deal on the rooms elsewhere.
Ours is a hotel in a popular coast area, but out of season. Makes a number of things simpler.
D1 texted back that booking starts a year out. Did she just hint she’ll send the SDs this Nov, for next Nov? I dunno. Will see her this week at the florist. It’s mostly her friends, so I can go with her choices.
Just want you to know…thinking about you and hoping the wedding was a joyful occasion with very limited drama.