D did not acknowledge those who had passed, but she did put out wedding pictures of my parents (both deceased) and my in laws (FIL was not able to attend). My brother had just died a few weeks before the wedding. To be honest, I did not see a reason to acknowledge that during the wedding or reception. Those who knew had already expressed their condolences. Family members had him in our hearts.
No programs. When I suggested it, D said that no one does those anymore. Chart for seating, but no actual place cards at the table. It wasn’t an issue, based on the way we grouped people at tables.
Lol, weddings aren’t very eco-friendly, either. And not versus one sheet of paper and the ink. I do get the eco point, however. And I don’t even mean to argue this point, it’s just one of many things that come down to personal wishes.
As I look at various online sites, most are nothing more than gift registries (and an odd collection, at that.) Or some mention of a few hotels. Far from the detail some have mentioned here: what meet/greets, what’s where, any breakfast arrangements, etc. D1’s own Save the Date only mentions the city, not the venue. Plenty of time to add that to the site, sure. Luckily for her, nearly all guests will be online-savvy.
I’ve seen plenty of wedding websites that list the weekend’s activities, bridal party with photos and often cutesy bios, things to do in the area, accommodations, etc. Lots of info. More than what could fit on a program.
Our venue required names of guests at their seats so the right food could be served to them.
We had a ( I thought) memorial table. It had nice framed pictures of relatives who had died from both sides of the wedding party, a nice vase of flowers, and some candles. It was in the room where the reception was held, in a visible but not in the way location. It was fun choosing the pictures of these folks…we wanted pics that showed these folks the way we knew them.
Well, they don’t want a program and the website is pretty bare bones but it’s fine. I will make sure those that need to know will know about timelines, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, brunch (included in the room rate but will let everyone know when the B & G will be there), etc. Sounds like it will be a seating chart listing names and tables, no place cards or escort cards. They’ve agreed to a welcome letter in the welcome bags. I am finding my zen spot and have decided that it will be beautiful whether it’s the way I would do it or not and I will keep my mouth firmly shut and, as often advised on CC, smile and nod
@thumper1 , is the venue someplace where you can kill time, so to speak? My niece’s wedding this summer had a 4pm ceremony and a reception that started at 6 in a location that was pretty isolated. The ceremony lasted about 20 minutes and everyone pretty much just stood around for about 90 minutes while the wedding party took pictures. It wasn’t ideal.
Our wedding is called for 7pm knowing the ceremony will start at about 7:30pm (we have to wait for Shabbat to end for the rabbi to get there). MOB was concerned that people will show up at 6:15pm for a 7pm wedding to “get good seats” and have to stand around waiting. The compromise in this case was to put a “Ceremony promptly at 7:30pm” notice on the website and for all involved to tell their friends and family not to show up so early. And for those that do, there will be sparkling water and champagne to make the wait more appealing! Reception follows immediately afterwards but it’s going to be a late night, in any case. That’s what happens when you have a Jewish wedding on Saturday night after the time changes.
For D1’s wedding, after the ceremony there was a wine/champagne/beer cocktail on a balcony outside while formal bridal party pictures were taken. We then bused them to the reception venue when we finished with picture taking. D1 had a schedule of who/when/where pictures were to be taken. People were informed ahead of time (if they didn’t show up then it was too bad). The wedding planner and her best friend were responsible to assemble people. We had a lot of combination and permutation of family/friends in the picture. She did that because at my nephew’s wedding there was no plan on what pictures needed to be taken (the photographer wanted to be spontaneous) and there was no picture of my sister and her husband together.
We had no memorial table. D said it made her too sad to see pictures of her grandparents (they were very close) and be reminded that they weren’t part of her day.
The officiant made mention of grandparents who weren’t there, and H’s aunt who had died just weeks earlier. The acknowledgment was enough.
I went to a wedding recently and the program was just a two sided card (sort of an oversized bookmark) with the names of the B&G, parents, and wedding party on one side, and the ceremony on the other side with a brief outline. I liked it because I didn’t really know anyone (I was there as an attendant to the grandfather, to help him get around) but I’d heard about the bride, 2 bridesmaids (cousins), the officiant (a cousin) for years.
It was just nice to have to figure out what was happening. If it were up to me, I’d have people wear name tags with a family tree so I would know that Aunt Cindy was Grandma Helen’s sister. Hey, Brad Pitt wore one to the academy awards lunch and really, most people know who Brad is.
I may have told this story before…when my S and DIL got married they decided to do a secret tribute to grandparents who had died - meaning most of us didn’t know it was going to happen.
Somewhat later in the reception evening the DJ called us all to step outside (it was a beautiful June night). They had paper lanterns - one for each grandparent who had passed (3) and they together said their names and released the lanterns once lit. It was very touching and there were not many dry eyes. <3
But the kicker was that it had been a very dry early summer and one of the lanterns nearly got caught in a tree! OMG those tears of rememberance quickly turned into everyone holding their breath to see where the lantern would go and when it finally released to the open air - and not the tree - a big round of applause and happiness!
Regarding programs vs a wedding website, my daughter has developed a detailed website for her guests. It includes information for the before wedding and after wedding activities. Since the wedding is in Barcelona, the home of her fiancé’s family, she is also including information about the city, as well as suggestions for hotels. There are also instructions on how to travel from the airport to the hotel and how to use the public transportation. It’s really quite extensive. I told her it was more helpful than anything I’ve read on TripAdvisor.
My FDIL works in social media and I am surprised, to be honest, at the brevity of their website. I’m going to try and get her to add some of the information there.
