Today is D1’s Bachelorette party. We are going to a local store to paint pallet signs, out to a local restaurant for dinner and then back to her house for dessert and wine. Fun activity and pretty low key. We leave for the wedding in Cancun on October 30. I am hoping everything pulls together!
I got engaged without a diamond or any other kind of engagement ring…and I still don’t have one 35 years later.
My wife and I got engaged without a ring. Couldn’t afford one. Her mother was very upset, she put great stock in the materialistic and “image” crap. A year after we were married, my wife needed a new car. So we went out and bought a new Chevy. First new car she ever had. On the way home, we stopped at her parents. I jumped out of the car and rang the doorbell. When her mother answered, I asked her with great excitement if she wanted to come out and see what I had bought my wife to make up for not having an engagement ring at our wedding. With wild anticipation, she said yes. Boy did she end up shocked and disappointed when my wife pointed to the car and asked how she liked her new ring. I don’t think she has ever forgiven us for that even though since then I’ve bought my wife a very nice diamond ring and wedding band. 
No engagement ring ever here. My rant on engagement rings (marketing, history) and diamonds in particular (blood, cartel, false value) would take another thread. Too party pooper for a wedding thread. 
My engagement ring was one that had previously been worn by someone in my husband’s family – someone who didn’t need it anymore because she had gotten divorced. I wonder why that didn’t bother me.
I lost it somehow when I was working in a lab. I had to take my rings off at work, and I think it went down a sink drain.
^^^Ouch.
Yikes, Marian!
@NorthMinnesota, I hope your day was wonderful. Sounds like fun. Wishing you safe travel as you head to Cancun.
When H asked me to marry him, he had a beautiful diamond he had saved and saved to buy. We eventually had it set. I wear it every day. I had to have it made larger after two kids…
SIL had a gorgeous family stone and asked me to help him pick out a setting. What a privilege and responsibility! Thankfully, D loves it.
No engagement ring here, either. Later, my grandmother gave me a stone she had and we had it set. (I actually don;t know where it is right now.) But I did recently buy a $8.99 fake-o band at WalMart. Lol. Looks real. Was for a trip and I just felt like it. No excuses. What the heck, I say.
i am soon to celebrate my 40th anniversary and I didn’t and still don’t have an engagement ring. It was the 70’s and we were living together so it sort of seemed redundant. I do however have a very nice diamond anniversary wedding band that we bought on a vacation in the Caribbean about 15 years ago that we picked out together. I will be curious to see if and when older d and her significant other move towards getting married if a ring will be involved. They’ve been together for over 6 years, living together for 4 years this past summer.
One of the things D1 pointed out to me was how some of her friends post pics of engagement rings on FB, to hint to their BFs. “Is this one me?” Or they make them stop and window shop. Seems a bit ummm, to me, considering none are even ‘informally’ engaged.
@lookingforward my D was laughing that one of her friends only liked engagement rings on her Instagram. Another had a Pinterest page so her boyfriend knew what kind of ring she wanted. I know my D emailed her former BF a picture of a ring she liked.
Lol on the engagement rings. My S bought a ring and then it took him 7 months to get the courage up to propose. A friend of my D’s knows her BF has had a ring made but no proposal yet!
Friday night, DD was looking at the types of wedding rings that would wrap around the engagement ring (with the thin band), and showing her iPad to FSIL. FSIL wants to have a romantic or memorable presenting of the ring to DD and surprise her. DD did not go to the jewelry store with FSIL Saturday. In a private conversation I had after FSIL after he was at the jewelry store, he did pick up the sized and polished up engagement ring - but will call the main jeweler to go over the ring choices DD had shown him (we knew jeweler wasn’t going to be in). Sounds like it may take a little time - which it sounds like they will take time on choosing wedding rings.
H and I chose matching bands together - one jewelry trip. They are nice looking rings. And we still wear those bands 37 years later (both have been sized up for weight gain). When I was in college, several of the gals had boyfriends for several years, and were really into the selection of their diamond engagement ring. I preferred to wait to expend the $$ years later (10 year anniversary) after other priorities and we could afford a little luxury.
I don’t have an engagement ring. As someone said just a few posts ago, it was the 70’s, we were living together and didn’t have much money. We’ve been married 38 years. After learning more about how diamonds are mined, I didn’t really want one, but, I imagine I’ll inherit my Mom’s in the future. Neither my husband nor our FSIL talked to the parents before the engagement.
My daughter told us of her engagement by sending us a picture of her hand with a ring on it. I screamed, " Husband! They’re engaged!!" Apparently FSIL asked our daughter in their apartment because he said he loved their home. About a month later they hired a photographer to take some engagement pictures, put it up on FB and that was the announcement!
@SOSConcern - I think it’s great that your daughter and FSIL are being deliberate on their next steps. I think it’s neat that there are all different ways at ending up at the same place - married!
It is great to see ‘young love’ and also faithful, deliberate commitment in the road to marriage.
My niece shared her engagement by sending her mom a photo of her with Fiancé and her new gorgeous engagement ring. The mom started screaming–I guess with happiness? Excitement? It was really loud and we were all there for my grandnephew’s 3rd birthday party (my screaming sis is the grandmother). Anyway we all are happy for her–wedding will be 7/2017!
Will be waiting awhile before any of my kids marry, I believe.
Here we go! my dad flying in tonight. DS and FDIL arriving tomorrow, rehearsal dinner Friday (here in my house, 38 people, not enough room, menu still to be determined), Saturday night wedding!!! It’s going to be a lovely and hectic week, and I was smart enough to take MONDAY OFF!!! That’ll be me in my pajamas on the porch swing relaxing… 
Best wishes, anxiousmom. (And to SOS.)
So you’re cooking? I made the same 2 dishes I had done for a combined birthday party one year: Tortellini Alfredo (though I love cooking, for this I used a quality pre-made sauce) and what’s really a potluck meatball thing (very popular recipe. Fine to use frozen meatballs. I had more to worry about than purism.) Bagged salad. Keep it as easy as you can.
FSIL, DD, and his parents now are on a cell phone service together - an upgrade for his parents, and very cost effective for all of them.
We look forward to having a great time together meeting/spending time with all early Nov. Maybe potential rehearsal dinner site can be chosen or get places on a list to check out - with legwork done beforehand by DD/FSIL. DD thought that was a good idea
DD is Godmother for her cousin’s baby with baptism on Sunday after Thanksgiving (Baby’s middle name is DD first name and common grandmother’s name), so extended family will meet FSIL in this distant state.
Career situations are ‘jelling’ - planned start date for DD as RN with VA. Military processing for FSIL in Dec - after physical, active duty approval, the step before re-enlisting. Just want to make sure enough time to get the ordered dress in once all of that has transpired for the July wedding…
Will see what DD2 thinks of dresses we will look at for bridesmaids on Friday on her University break.
@HImom how exciting about your niece! You never know if your S/D might meet someone at the wedding…our neighbor and her H met at a friend’s/relative’s wedding (friend for one, relative for the other).
My daughter is in a wedding on Dec 30. She, being naive, was shocked she is expected to be there (about 1 hour away from my house) for the rehearsal dinner on the 29th and through NYE as the groom (her friend) has always hosted a NYE party and getting married the day before is not going to stop him from doing so this year. Yesterday she got an invitation to the bachelorette party on the 27th but I think she may have an excuse for that - it looks like it is a bar hopping event, and daughter will be 29 days short of being 21. She’s lucky that the groom is providing somewhere for her to stay for those 4 days and I’ve told her it might be too much to expect her boyfriend to take off 4-5 days of work, on a holiday weekend (he works at a restaurant) just to be her date. La la la, she just thinks it will all work out and be practically free.
It is finally hitting her that this wedding is going to cost her a fortune. She was supposed to be in another wedding Oct 1 but the bride figured out it would just not work to have an OOS college student available to do all the wedding events in the middle of a semester, and that it would be a big financial drain on my daughter, so withdrew the invitation to be a bridesmaid. I don’t even know if daughter received an invitation to the wedding.
Yes, it is Sis’ last D to marry–the older two are both happily married and living in HI. I believe my niece and her fiancé have made some attempts to introduce my kids to their male and female friends. We will see if anything develops.
This youngest niece is the closest in age and emotionally to my kids–like their sister almost. She’s 4 months younger than S and 2 years older than D. She currently lives in SF and both my kids see her and fiancé several times/year, which is more than the rest of us! She’s a podiatrist and he’s a pathology resident.